谈谈手的摆放位置

While I’ve often talked about the importance of being aware of your posture at the table, I am giving hand placement its own section in order to emphasize its importance in signaling your intentions to others.

虽然我常常谈到知晓餐桌礼仪的重要性，但为了强调手在向别人表明意图时的重要性，我专门撰文来谈谈手的摆放位置。

As we all know, “Hands up!” is among the first things a police officer says when he has a criminal in range. In that instance, the police officer’s goal is to ensure he or she doesn’t have a concealed weapon.

我们都知道，警察发现一名罪犯后说的第一句话便是：“举起手来！”。 这种情况下，警察是为了确保他/她没有携带隐蔽的武器。

More happily, raising our hand is also the symbol of knowing the correct answer in grade school, or signaling our willingness to volunteer for activities as we get older. When you are seated at a table, your hands perform much the same function. They allow others at the table to feel safe around you, and they signal to others that you are available and excited to answer their questions, or volunteer for their cause.

让人轻松点的例子也有：在学校里举手表明知道正确的答案。长大后，举手表示志愿参加某项活动。当你坐在桌子旁时，你的手也有同样的功能。它们可以让在坐的其他人和你在一起时有安全感，而且还在向别人表示你有空、并乐于回答他们的提问、或者愿意参与他们的事业。

“But,” some clients object, “I tend to talk with my hands if they’re on the table. Isn’t that bad?”

有些客户反对说：“但是，如果我把手放在桌子上就容易边讲话边做手势，这不会糟糕吗？”

Not at all if those motions are a natural outgrowth of what you are saying. They only become distracting when they are doing something to relieve you of nervous tension, such as tapping a pencil or fiddling with a wedding ring, etc.

如果那些动作是你谈话的自然衍生，那么就一点也不糟糕。只有当你在做某些缓解紧张情绪的活动的时候（例如:敲铅笔、摆弄结婚戒指)才会让人分心。

So if your goal is to inspire trust in others, one of the easiest ways to do that is to keep your hands where people can see them. Once they’re on the table, my request is that they remain unclasped, as clasping your hands in front of you creates a barrier between you and those to whom you are speaking.

所以如果你的目的是让别人信任你，最简单的方法之一就是把手放在人们能看见的地方。一旦把手放在桌子上，我的要求是手不要握在一起，因为紧握双手会在你和谈话方之间形成障碍。

The same principle holds true if you are standing. When you want others to trust you, keep your hands out of your pockets. Leaving them in sight will signal your honorable, or favorable, intentions. Alternatively, putting your hands in your pockets will send a message of distrust or unavailability—not to mention ruin the line of your suit.

如果你是站着的，也是同样的道理。如果你想让别人信任你，把手从口袋中拿出来。放在别人看得见的地方会表示出你尊敬并赞同他人的意图。而把双手放在口袋里则会发出不信任、没空等讯息——更不要说还会破坏西服的线条了。