在工作中,太“善解人意“可不是什么好事,最后你会发现你会被自己的善心所带来的工作压死的。另外,自信也很重要,对自己有信心,别人才能对你有信心。
Avoid being overly empathetic.
不要过于善解人意
There's another reason nice people take on too much work: They are overly empathetic. Perhaps your best work friend always turns to you when she's overwhelmed. While she doesn't directly ask you for help, you end up offering anyway, even when you already have several balls in the air. After all, you hate to see her so stressed out. Next time this happens, pause before you offer assistance. It's often enough to lend an ear and offer encouragement without jumping into action. Practice listening more and acting less.
“大好人”会做太多的工作还有一个原因:他们过于善解人意了。也许你工作中最好的朋友总会在喘不过气的时候向你寻求帮助。虽然她不会直接要你帮忙,但是你最终还是帮了,即便这时候你也是忙得不可开交。毕竟你不愿意看到她顶着那么大的压力。下次出现这种情况时,在你要提供帮助的时候先停一停。通常情况下,倾听和鼓舞对方就足够了,不用自己采取行动。多倾听,少揽活。
Exude confidence.
表现出自信
Whether you're talking to a manager or a coworker, be succinct and direct. Nice people frequently feel the need to justify their thought processes by describing them in excruciating detail. But no one wants to sit through a 10-minute explanation as you slowly get to your point. The truth is there's no need to overexplain. The person you're talking to will ask for clarification if he or she needs it.
无论和经理还是和同事说话,都要简洁直接。好好人经常觉得有必要将自己的主张想法描述地一点细节都不放过。但是谁也不愿意听你唠叨10分钟后才慢慢步入正题。 其实没有必要过多地解释。如果对方需要了解清楚会主动问你。
Keep in mind that if you start diplomatically turning down projects or offering critiques of others' work, you'll be displaying new behavior. This will take time to get used to, not only for you, but also for your coworkers and manager. However, by sticking to your new approach, you can be nice and not have to worry about being taken advantage of.
牢记一点:在你开始委婉地拒绝一些项目、对别人工作提出批评时,你就会有新的表现。这需要时间去适应,不仅你,你的同事、经理也一样。不过,坚持你的新方式,你就能做一个不用担心被人利用的“好人”。
(the end)
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