你懂得赞扬别人吗（2）

能恰当地赞美别人是一件佳事，可是该怎样赞扬别人可不是人人都会的。下面这些建议你可需要认真考量哦！

3. The effusiveness and time spent in giving praise should be commensurate with the difficulty and time-intensiveness of the task. If a task was quick and easy, a hasty “Looks great!” will do; if a task was protracted and difficult, the praise should be more lengthy and descriptive. Also, you might bring up the praise more than once.

表扬用的时间和言语应该和该任务的困难程度和时间强度一致。 如果一项任务即快又容易，那么匆忙一声“看起来不错！”就行了；如果一项任务冗长而困难，那么表扬的话应该更长、更具体。同样，你可能要多次表扬。

4. Remember the negativity bias. The “negativity bias” is a well-recognized psychological phenomenon: people react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. For example, within marriage, it takes at least five good acts to repair the damage of one critical or destructive act. So if you want to praise someone, remember that one critical comment will wipe out several positive comments, and will be far more memorable. To stay silent, and then remark something like, “It’s too bad that that door couldn’t be fixed,” will be perceived as highly critical。

记住“消极偏见”。“消极偏见”是一种为人熟知的心理现象：人们对坏话的反应比对好话更强烈、更持久。例如在婚姻中，至少要五次善举才能修复一次批评或破坏性的行为给人带来的创伤。所以，如果你想表扬某人，记着一句批评的话会抵消几句肯定的评价，而且会更让人记忆深刻。沉默许久然后说一句：“真糟糕，门修不好了”将是一句高度批评的话。

5. Praise the everyday as well as the exceptional. When people do something unusual, it’s easy to remember to give praise. But what about the things they do well every day without any recognition? It never hurts to point out how much you appreciate the small services and tasks that someone unfailingly performs. Something like, “You know what? In three years, I don’t think you’ve ever been even an hour late with the weekly report.” After all, we never forget to make a comment when someone screws up.

表扬特别的贡献，也要褒奖点滴的善举。当别人做了某件不同寻常的事情，我们都记得去表扬别人。但是对于那些人们每天都做得很好却没有获得认可的事情呢？去表达别人细心和不倦帮助的欣赏吧，再怎么多也不过分。比如：“你知道吗？三年来，你的周报告从来不会哪怕晚交一小时”。毕竟，我们却从不忘在别人出错时批评上一句。

If anyone has any tips for how to free yourself from the craving for praise, send them my way! I really need them. The need for praise is such an ingrained part of my personality that I doubt I’d be able to change completely, but I can do better.

如果谁有任何能让人摆脱渴求表扬习惯的建议，请发给我！我很需要它们。对表扬的需要是我个性中根深蒂固的一部分。我怀疑我能否彻底改掉这毛病，不过我想我能做得更好。

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