拒绝帮忙请求难以启齿（下）

The mere mention of the word "favor" can stun us into compliance, which answers a question staffers often ask themselves: How did I get roped into this?

仅仅提到“帮忙”这个词就能吓得我们乖乖从命了，这也回答了很多人常常问自己的一个问题：我是怎么给套进去的？

Stanford's Prof. Flynn found that simply asking people to fill out a questionnaire in New York's Penn Station resulted in 57% compliance. But prefacing that question with the phrase, "Can you do me a favor?" followed by a pause pushed the level of compliance to 84%.

弗林发现，在纽约的宾州火车站请人们填一份问卷，只有57%的人会同意。但如果加上“您能帮我个忙吗”这句话，再稍微停顿一下，同意的人就达到了84%。

"People have a modal, rote response" to a favor request, says Prof. Flynn, which is: "Yeah, sure, what is it?"(It should be noted here that research also shows that people appreciate favors more from men than they do from women, because they don't expect favors as much from men.)

弗林说，对于帮忙的请求，人们有种典型的反应模式，就是"好的，没问题，要帮什么忙？"（这里应该注意一点，研究还表明，比起女性，男性给人帮忙得到的感激程度更高，因为人们对男性会帮忙的期望值没那么高。）

Another study shows how easy it can be to get collared into favors that seem too big to grant. In his famous study, Robert Cialdini, professor of psychology at Arizona State University, asked passersby if they would commit to doing one of the most nerve-racking activities he could dream up: Would you volunteer to chaperone juvenile-detention-center inmates on a day trip to the zoo? (Fun!)

Only 17% agreed.

另一项研究显示出人们很容易被“下套”，从而答应下不好办的事情。亚利桑那州大学(Arizona State University)心理学教授罗伯特•卡尔迪尼(Roderb Ciladini)进行了一项著名的研究，问行人能不能答应一件他能想到的最伤脑筋事：能否志愿随青少年拘留中心的犯人去动物园参观一天？（太有意思了！）

只有17%的人同意了。

But bartering would change that. When researchers asked another set of people for much more -- if they'd serve as an unpaid counselor for two hours per week for two years -- they all said no. But when they then went back to the original question of chaperoning the inmates to the zoo, compliance tripled to 50%.

但换个方式就能改变这种情况。研究者对另一组人提出更过份的要求──是否愿意在两年时间里每周做两个小时的义务咨询员──他们说不。但接着回到陪伴犯人去动物圆的问题时，同意去的比例达到了50%，为先前的三倍。

The most common favor-gaming is the repeatedly requested favor. At some point -- obvious to everyone but the serial requester -- that will cease to be a favor and become a dependency. Mary Powell, who fills the favor-rich posts of both HR and receptionist, has noticed that the people who ask her repeatedly to help fill out their insurance forms "get disappointed if I say I can't do it."

最常见的人情博弈是一再请人家帮忙。在某种程度上──每个人都意识到了，只有不断提出要求的人浑然不觉──这样就不再是帮忙，而成了一种依赖。玛丽•鲍威尔(Mary Powell)担任的是总给人帮忙的人力资源和前台职务，她注意到那些总是请她代填保险单的人遭到拒绝后会很失望。

But sometimes it's just easier to do the serial favor than to resist it. Scott McIntyre, a director at a hospital association, often requests favors of a colleague who understands the company's database much more than he does. She can't be bothered trying to teach him anymore.

但有时候，不断地帮忙比抵制帮忙要来得容易一些。斯科特•麦金泰尔(Scott McIntyre)是一个卫生协会的负责人，他常常请比他更了解公司数据库的一位同事帮忙，这样那位同事就不必再费事教他了。

"In a lot of cases," Mr. McIntyre says, "it's quicker to catch the fish and give it to a person than show him how to fish."

麦金泰尔说：“在很多情况下，授人以鱼比授人以渔更快捷。”