8年湖北部分高考满分作文赏析

作文一：举手投足间

Composition 1: between hands and feet

外公弥留之际，外婆整夜地陪他低声聊天，或者看着他，仿佛时间也静止了。

When Grandpa was dying, grandma would chat with him in a low voice or look at him all night, as if time was still.

小时候，我爱去外公家。外公知道好多趣事，外婆的厨艺精湛。每每听外公眉飞色舞地讲完一段，爷孙俩都饿了。于是外公蹑手蹑脚钻进厨房，趁外婆没在，夹几片刚炸好的鸡排，赶忙回来和我分享，像一个小孩子。有几次外公被外婆“人赃并获”，只得被外婆打手。然后我们乖乖地摆好桌子准备开饭，那个时候，真开心。

When I was a kid, I loved to go to my grandfather's house. Grandpa knows a lot of interesting things. Grandma is very good at cooking. Every time I hear grandpa's speech, they are hungry. So Grandpa crept into the kitchen, took some freshly fried chicken chops when grandma was not there, and hurried back to share them with me like a child. Several times grandpa was "stolen and captured" by grandma and had to be beaten by grandma. Then we set the table for dinner. At that time, I was very happy.

有时外婆买菜，用了很长时间。外公就急得坐不住了，在窗边不住张望，希望看到外婆的身影。可是当得知外婆是为了买我们爱吃的正宗牛肉，走远路时，外公又喜笑颜开起来。

Sometimes grandma buys vegetables and takes a long time. Grandpa is so anxious that he can't sit still. He can't look at the window. He wants to see grandma. But when I learned that grandma was to buy the authentic beef we love, and I went a long way, Grandpa was happy again.

可是，后来外公，还是去了另一个再也触不到的世界。

But later, Grandpa went to another world that he could never touch again.

第一次没有外公的年饭，是在酒店吃的。外婆来了，却不大高兴，原来为大家准备的餐具中少了外公的，可是当服务员送来一张椅子时，外婆却拒绝了，并谢了她。

For the first time, there was no grandpa's new year's meal. It was eaten in the hotel. Grandma came, but she was not very happy. There was no grandpa in the tableware for us. But when the waiter brought a chair, grandma refused and thanked her.

外婆说：“昨晚老头子托梦说了，他也想吃点。他想吃的，你们都孝顺，都记得点了，他该是高兴的。不过，老头子说要和我挤一张椅子坐，就够了……”外婆是个朴实的人，但她的那番话，却让我比什么名著都记得牢。

Grandma said: "last night, the old man told me his dream, and he wanted to eat some. He wants to eat, you are all filial, all remember point, he should be happy. However, the old man said he would squeeze a chair with me, that would be enough... " Grandma is a simple person, but her words make me remember better than any famous works.

外公外婆总是散发着种东西，举手投足之间的，我说不出的，却总想亲近的东西。

Grandpa and grandma always exude something that I can't say but always want to be close to.

所以，就算是高考前的一个清明节，我仍然坚持去爬高高的山，去为外公扫墓，去默默地和他交流。

So, even if it is a Qingming Festival before the college entrance examination, I still insist on climbing high mountains, going to sweep my grandfather's grave, and quietly communicating with him.

外婆是细心的，小心地摆出一小桌精巧可口的饭，在外公墓前。这个时候，外婆总是哭。我知道，外婆听别人说过，另一个世界的人是很想吃供奉的食品，可是他们的喉，只有针眼大。外婆想到外公那样子，就会很难过吧。而外婆叠的纸钱，已经厚得烧不完了。如果那些飘飞的灰烬能带上外婆的思念，那么我觉得那些都是最美的情书。

Grandma is careful. She carefully set out a small table of delicate and delicious rice in front of the outer cemetery. At this time, grandma is always crying. I know that grandma has heard that people in another world want to sacrifice food, but their throat is only the eye of a needle. Grandma would be very sad to think of Grandpa like that. The paper money piled by grandma is too thick to burn. If those flying ashes can bring grandma's thoughts, then I think those are the most beautiful love letters.

外公与外婆之间的小动作、小对话，让我见证了他们的不离不弃。我的眼角常常湿润，或许因为，久在喧嚣，终于触动了心中长久未拨的一弦。

The little actions and conversations between grandpa and grandma let me witness their perseverance. My eyes are often moist, perhaps because, for a long time in the uproar, finally touched the hearts of a long time not set a string.

而我总是努力地去传递些什么，在举手投足之间。是对爱的敬仰，还是为爱而生的感激？

And I always try to pass on something, in between. Is it admiration for love, or gratitude for love?

点评：这篇文章选材很好，选取了外公和外婆之间的小动作、小对话，看起来琐碎、寻常，但是非常生活化，而且渗透了人物情感，极为传神地描摹了恩爱老年夫妻之间的相濡以沫。作者对生活观察细致、体验深刻，所以文章以情感人。

Comments: This article is a good choice of materials. It selects the little actions and dialogues between grandpa and grandma. It looks trivial and common, but it is very life-like, and permeates the characters' emotions, and vividly depicts the love between elderly couples. The author observed life carefully and experienced deeply, so the article moved people with emotion.

作文二：举手投足之间

Composition 2: between hands and feet

你知道“君子”的含义、“高贵”的概念吗？

Do you know the meaning of "gentleman" and the concept of "nobility"?

请原谅我这样直白地问你。你身上破旧的衣衫，我没有看见；你足下锃亮的鞋履，我不曾注意。我只想知道，昨天你施舍给乞儿的那一枚硬币是不是在下蹲后轻轻放入他的破碗；今天你鼓鼓的皮包中，有没有为楼下流浪的猫咪准备一捧米粒。

Please forgive me for asking you so directly. I didn't see your shabby clothes; I didn't notice your shining shoes. I just want to know whether the coin you gave to the beggar yesterday was put into his broken bowl after squatting down; whether there is a handful of rice for the stray cat downstairs in your bulging bag today.

我想知道，你站在这个喧闹而又寂寥的世间，是高贵地弯下腰，还是卑微地仰着头。弯下腰，伸出手，这是一个多么谦卑恭顺的姿势，却又是人性高贵的君子一个多么温暖的手势。

I want to know if you are standing in this noisy and lonely world, bending down nobly or looking up humbly. Bending down and reaching out, what a humble and submissive gesture it is, but what a warm gesture it is for a gentleman of noble human nature.

我和许多人、和你一样，被汶川一震震碎许多奢华的念想。电视里反反复复地播放，志愿者们穿行废墟间、帐篷间、病房间，弯下腰，伸出手，去拥抱孩子们泪痕纵横或木然痴然的小脸。

Like many people and you, I was shattered by Wenchuan earthquake. The TV repeatedly showed that volunteers walked through the ruins, tents and sick rooms, bent down and reached out to embrace the small faces of children with tears or numbness.

你说你衣衫破旧，你说你鞋履锃亮，可是这破旧的衣衫，这锃亮的鞋履，都不是君子清洁的行头。“君子”是人性高贵者响亮的名号，你看他们在举手投足之间诠释着善良、慎独、修德的内涵，他们或许面容沧桑鬓发霜白，但衣襟间洁净的光辉却永不会消褪。

You say that your clothes are shabby, and your shoes are shiny, but these shabby clothes and shoes are not clean clothes of a gentleman. "Gentleman" is the resounding name of the noble people of human nature. You can see that they are interpreting the connotation of kindness, prudence and virtue between their actions. They may have the face of vicissitudes, the hair of their temples is frosty white, but the clean brilliance of their skirts will never fade.

举手投足之间，他们会常常做一个谦卑的弯腰者，将自己放置在人世间一个很低的位置去仰望幸福，珍惜现在，为所拥有的东西虔诚感恩；他们更会做出一个伸手的姿势，笑问这世界：是否需要帮助？

They will often be a humble stooper, placing themselves in a very low position in the world to look up to happiness, cherish the present, and be devout and grateful for what they have; they will also make a gesture of reaching out, laughing and asking the world: do they need help?

这世间温润如玉的谦谦君子们哦，纵然那一举手、一投足间光辉如萤如豆，交融汇聚成光的海洋，也该有贯日白虹、骀荡春风。

The world's gentle and modest people are like jade. Even if the hands and feet are shining like peas and mingled into a sea of light, there should be a spring breeze running through the sun and the rainbow.

点评：本文特点是，在写法上用第二人称方式娓娓而谈，写得从容、亲切。文章对“君子”内涵把握准确，特别强调谦卑、慎独、修德、温润如玉，显示出作者具有一定的文化修养。文章反复强调弯腰者形象，这将君子谦卑具体化了，尤其是结合汶川地震志愿者的形象，能引起众人共鸣。

Comments: This article is characterized by the second person style in writing, which is easy and cordial. This paper holds the connotation of "gentleman" accurately, especially emphasizes humility, prudence, morality and gentleness, which shows that the author has certain cultural accomplishment. This article repeatedly emphasizes the image of the stooper, which makes the gentleman humble and concrete, especially combining the image of the Wenchuan earthquake volunteers, which can resonate with the public.

作文三：举手投足之间

Composition 3: between hands and feet

我本风雅。――题记

I am elegant. Inscription

爷爷是个老党员，祖辈是清朝遗老。他一手将我拉扯大，管教却很严厉。小时不懂事，一直很恨他：

Grandpa is an old Party member, and his ancestors are the old men of the Qing Dynasty. He pulled me up with one hand, but discipline was severe. I didn't understand him when I was young. I always hated him

出门、回家要和家里人一一道别、问候；吃饭时，家里人没到齐时不许动筷子，夹菜要就近，夹到什么吃什么，不许在碗里碟里翻挑；更不许吃饭说话；睡姿要规矩，两腿并拢，侧卧；坐姿端正，站立行走要抬头挺胸；他人讲话不许插嘴，打喷嚏时捂嘴转脸低头……

Go out and go home to say goodbye and greetings to the family one by one; when eating, the family is not allowed to move chopsticks when they arrive at the same time, and they are not allowed to pick up what they can eat, and they are not allowed to eat or talk; they should sleep in a regular manner, with their legs together and lying on their sides; they should sit in a correct position, and stand up and walk with their chest held high; they are not allowed to interrupt when they talk, and they should cover their mouths and turn their heads when they sneeze ...

这么多规矩，悉数如枷锁般缚在我身上，虽然知道大人的教育是为我好，却发现同龄的孩子鲜有遭受与我相似待遇。更由于爷爷的强硬教导，我不得不从小学会自我克制和恪守纪律，这对于一个淘气爱玩的孩子来说，其实相当痛苦。

So many rules are shackled to me. Although I know that adult education is for my good, I find that children of the same age seldom suffer similar treatment. More because of my grandfather's tough teaching, I had to self-restraint and discipline from primary school, which is quite painful for a naughty and playful child.

随着年龄的增长，这些条条框框赋予我的，叫做素质和教养。举手投足之间展现的点滴细节，闪耀着人格的光辉。

As I grow older, what these rules give me is called quality and education. The little details that show between every move are shining with the brilliance of personality.

于是我总将“请、对不起、谢谢……”挂在嘴边，并由衷地说出口；于是我从不任意打断他人的话而耐心地等对方说完；于是我担任三年的劳动委员，干活时总是心情愉快地哼着歌；于是当老师布置许多作业，同学们唏嘘哀叹时，我默默地记下作业……

So I will always "please, sorry, thank you..." I never interrupt others' words and patiently wait for them to finish. So I was a labor committee member for three years, always singing happily when I was working. So when the teacher assigned many homework and the students sighed, I silently wrote down the homework

举手投足是一把尺，它是衡量人的内在含金量的标准。含金量高的人，必然，我敢说必然，是一个伟大的人。

Every move is a ruler. It is the standard to measure the inner gold content of human beings. A man of high gold content is bound, I dare say bound, a great man.

屠格涅夫为了施舍路边的乞丐，翻遍了自己的钱包，却找不到一分钱，只得握住乞丐的双手说“我很抱歉，朋友”；雷锋在战友们不在时，把大家的衣服都洗干净晒了；周恩来总理衣容整洁，谈吐大方，岂是朝夕而成的？或如《士兵突击》里的许三多，在班里的战友整天只知喝茶打牌的时候，一个人默默地搬运石头，愣是日积月累地修成了一条路……

In order to give alms to the beggars on the roadside, Turgenev went through his wallet, but couldn't find a penny, so he had to hold the beggars' hands and say "I'm sorry, friend"; Lei Feng washed everyone's clothes in the absence of his comrades in arms and dried them in the sun; Premier Zhou Enlai's clothes were clean and tidy, and he talked about being generous. Was it made overnight? Or like Xu Sanduo in the soldiers' assault, when the class's comrades only know how to drink tea and play cards all day, they carry stones silently and build a road accumulatively

举手是小事，投足是小事，细节更是小事。吃饭是小事，说话是小事，出门上街是小事，回到家也是小事，和一个朋友交往是小事，和一个陌生人交往也是小事，其实生活就是一件件这样的小事，需要我们点点滴滴去做；即使是民族振兴这样的小事，也需要我们每一个十三亿分之一认认真真去做。

Raising your hand is a small thing, committing is a small thing, and the details are even more a small thing. Eating is a small matter, speaking is a small matter, going out on the street is a small matter, going home is a small matter, communicating with a friend is a small matter, communicating with a stranger is a small matter, in fact, life is such a small matter, we need to do it bit by bit; even if it is such a small matter of national rejuvenation, we need to do it every 1.3 billion.

我愈发地明白爷爷的良苦用心，也愈发地感谢他，他用严厉的教育告诉我，要做一个秉承中华传统的人，做一个含金量高的人。

I understand my grandfather's hard work more and more, and I thank him more and more. He told me with strict education that we should be a person who adheres to the Chinese tradition and has high gold content.

我又何尝不希望像我爷爷一样的人多些，再多些，训导出优秀的一代。让本就风雅高贵的中华之风，代代传下去！

I don't want to have more people like my grandfather, more people, and train the excellent generation. Let the elegant and noble Chinese style be passed down from generation to generation!

点评：由小见大是本文特点。难能可贵的是，作者把个人体验推而广之，想到了名人、伟人成功经验，并感悟到：细节成就伟大的人。由于把爷爷的言传身教和名人、伟人的典型生活细节结合在一起写，避免了抽象说理。语言有特色，流畅之中也有华采展现。

Comments: from small to large is the characteristics of this article. What's rare is that the author pushes his personal experience to a wider extent, thinks of the successful experience of famous people and great people, and realizes that details make great people. Because grandpa's words and deeds are combined with the typical life details of celebrities and great people, abstract reasoning is avoided. The language has its own characteristics, and the fluency also shows its brilliance.

作文四：举手投足之间

Composition 4: between hands and feet

生命的车轮缓缓向前推进，人类也已从年幼懵懂的种群成长为拥有高度文明与智慧的生物。知识与责任让我们渐渐摆脱了以自我为中心的狭隘，我们越来越多地考虑善待自然。而我想说，善待自然，就请从举手投足之间做起。

The wheel of life is slowly moving forward, and human beings have grown from young and ignorant populations to creatures with high civilization and wisdom. Knowledge and responsibility let us gradually get rid of the narrow self-centered, and more and more we think about treating nature well. And I want to say, be kind to nature, please start from every move.

这个世界有很多环保主义者。他们可以举行声势浩大的游行示威来抗议日本人对鲸的残酷杀戮，他们也可以建造奇特而坚固的木屋过树上生活来反对商人们对森林的砍伐。有时候，我们不由觉得那样的勇气与壮举离我们太遥远。没有错。但爱与善待并不总是要用惊天动地的牺牲来表达。在举手投足之间，我们就可以表现出对自然的善待。

There are many environmentalists in the world. They can hold huge demonstrations to protest against the cruel killing of whales by the Japanese. They can also build strange and strong wooden houses to live on trees to fight against the deforestation of businessmen. Sometimes, we can not help but feel that courage and feats are too far away from us. No mistake. But love and kindness are not always expressed in terms of earth shaking sacrifice. In between, we can show kindness to nature.

弯身绕过低垂的树枝，轻轻扶起被吹偏的花朵，爱怜地送走不慎落到你书本上的年幼的蜘蛛，殷情地款待无家可归饥肠辘辘的流浪狗……生物之间平等的爱与尊重遂自举手投足之间显现出来。不要以为这些都是微不足道的小事。因为自然辉映在每一个弱小的生命里，每一个小小的动作都是对自然的珍惜与保护。我们需要规模组织都很庞大的环保运动，但更需要涓滴成海的微小和细致。

Bend around the low branches, gently pick up the blown flowers, send away the young spiders accidentally falling on your books, and treat the homeless and hungry stray dogs with kindness The equal love and respect between creatures is shown by their actions. Don't think these are trivial things. Because nature is reflected in every weak life, every little action is to cherish and protect nature. We need a large-scale organization of environmental protection movement, but we need a small and meticulous trickle into the sea.

动画片《西游记》里有一幕给我的印象最为深刻：唐僧正在打坐念经，忽然一只蚂蚁掉落在他的手上。唐僧并没有粗鲁地甩动手掌或是直接将这只小虫碾死，他只是轻轻地将蚂蚁所在的那只手放在地上，让惊慌失措的蚂蚁安全离开。记得小时候我每看到这一段，总会嘲笑唐僧的迂腐和虚伪，但随着年龄的增长，我才渐渐明白，正是举手投足间的善，才成就了一个慈悲为怀的圣僧，才显现出佛的博爱与睿智。同样，当我们于举手投足间，积累对自然的善待，谁又能说我们不是真正的环保主义者呢？

One scene in the cartoon journey to the West impressed me most: monk Tang was meditating and chanting sutras when an ant fell on his hand. Tang Monk didn't shake his hands or run the insect to death. He just gently put the hand where the ant is on the ground, so that the panicked ant can leave safely. I remember when I was a child, I always laughed at Tang Monk's pedantry and hypocrisy. But as I grew older, I began to understand that it was the kindness that made a compassionate monk and showed the Buddha's fraternity and wisdom. Similarly, when we are doing everything we can to accumulate kindness to nature, who can say that we are not really environmentalists?

是谁说过，人类要用博爱的宇宙观来看待自己，看待地球。宇宙观，是告诉我们要学会平等地对待自然，将人类自身看作地球上普通的一员。而涉及到将理念转化为行动，我则认为，要用最微观的视角去看待世界，去看待自己的行为。因为正是举手投足间的小小善举，才折射出一个灵魂的光芒，才体现出一颗满盛爱与美好的真心。

Who said that human beings should use the universal view of fraternity to see themselves and the earth. Cosmology tells us to learn to treat nature equally and regard human beings as ordinary members of the earth. When it comes to transforming ideas into actions, I think we should use the most micro perspective to see the world and our own behaviors. Because it is a small act of kindness that reflects the light of a soul and reflects a heart full of love and beauty.

点评：文章立意很成功。该文以识见为高，立意集中深刻，强调了要在举手投足之间善待自然，这切合了命题要求，敏锐切中社会热点，把举手投足这样的微观小事，和保护自然的宏观命题有效结合。当然，把动画片中的细节写进来，让文章有了具体可感的画面。

Comments: the article is intended to be very successful. This paper takes insight as a high priority and focuses on profound ideas. It emphasizes that we should treat nature well between action and action, which is in line with the requirements of the proposition. It is sensitive to the social hot spots, and effectively combines such micro small things as action and action with the macro proposition of nature protection. Of course, the details of the animation are written in, so that the article has a specific and sensible picture.