8年四川高考满分作文一步与一生

路的两旁氤氲着乳白色的雾气，前面是一条悠长悠长的古道，迷离神奇。[形象化的描写，把人带入迷离神奇的氛围中。]

There is milky fog on both sides of the road. In front of it is a long and ancient road, which is mysterious. [the vivid description brings people into the mysterious atmosphere. ]

我预备沿着这条布满神秘的古道去寻找自己的幸福人生，一束极细的光线从遥远的天际投射过来，抚摩着那历经悠悠岁月的古道刻痕，它闪耀着夺目的光线。

I'm going to follow this mysterious ancient road to find my own happy life. A very fine light is projected from the distant sky, caressing the ancient road marks after a long time. It shines with dazzling light.

一串串脚印散落在岁月的路途中，我要去寻找那决定人一生的那一步，专心去发现一个刻满幸福的出口。[“我要去寻找那决定人一生的那一步”，点题。]

A string of footprints scattered on the way of years, I want to find the step that determines a person's life, and concentrate on finding an exit full of happiness. ["I'm going to look for the step that determines a person's life". ]

我渐行渐远，我渐进渐远……

I'm moving away, I'm moving away

终于，我发现路在此时分成了两个岔口，两扇高大的门摆在面前，它们的上面镌刻着“一步与一生”，苍劲的字体中流淌着布满理性的溪流。

Finally, I found that the road was divided into two forks at this time. Two tall doors were placed in front of them, on which were engraved "one step and one life". The vigorous font was full of rational streams.

我打开其中一扇门，发现上面雕刻着许许多多的小字，我仔细注视，仿佛时光在这里轮回翻转……

I opened one of the doors and found that there were many small characters carved on it. I watched carefully as if time was turning around here

“曾经的庄子从这里走过，为了摆脱一个屈从权势的社会，他推开了这扇门，然后决绝地跨了过去，做了一棵在夜里独自守望月亮的树。”[活用课本（《庄子：在我们无路可走的时候》）中例子，给人以亲切感。]

"Chuang Tzu once walked by here. In order to get rid of a society that was subservient to power, he pushed the door open, and then he made a tree to watch the moon alone at night." Use the examples in the textbook flexibly (Zhuangzi: when we have no way to go) to give people a sense of kindness. ]

“曾经的五柳先生从这里走过，为了摒弃官场的丑恶，他驾着破旧的马车从这扇门驶过，然后‘采菊东篱下，悠然见南山’”。[使用课本中陶渊明《饮酒》诗。]“曾经的东坡先生从这里走过，为了遗忘痛苦的失意，他穿粗衣淡定地走了过去，在荒凉的黄州‘倚杖听江声’，任凭人生的失意而高唱‘大江东去，浪淘尽’”。

"Mr. Wuliu once walked by here. In order to get rid of the ugliness of the officialdom, he drove through the door with a shabby carriage, and then" picked chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, and saw Nanshan leisurely ". [use Tao Yuanming's drinking poems in the textbook. ]"Once Mr. Dongpo passed here. In order to forget his painful disappointment, he walked quietly in coarse clothes. In the desolate Huangzhou, he" leaned on his staff to listen to the sound of the river "and let his life's disappointment sing" the river goes East, the waves are washed out ".

[三段均用“曾经的……从这里走过”，引出三个历史人物，句式整洁，富有文采。]

[three paragraphs all use "once Pass by here ", lead to three historical figures, sentence pattern is neat, rich literary talent. ]

我品读着这曾经的故事，路旁的竹林也在歌唱，我要把它谱写成一曲沧桑而漂亮的歌谣。

I read this once story, and the bamboo forest beside the road is singing. I want to compose it into a song of vicissitudes and beauty.

我又走到另外一个路口仰望另一扇门，它上面同样刻满了密密麻麻的小字。

I went to another intersection and looked up at another door, which was also engraved with small words.

“西楚霸王项羽面对刘邦的追兵从这里逃走，忆起昔日的鸿门宴，不禁哀叹时不利兮骓不逝，骓不逝兮可奈何，虞兮虞兮奈若何？”

"Xiang Yu, the overlord of the Western Chu state, ran away from Liu Bang in the face of his pursuers. Recalling the Hongmen banquet in the past, he couldn't help but lament that when it was not good, Zhui would never die. What could he do if Zhui didn't die, and how could Yuxi yugunai do?"

“残忍阴险的秦桧从这里步入罪恶的深渊，杀岳飞，贬忠良，他的一生必定是一个让人唾弃的一生，永远地钉在历史的耻辱柱上。”

"Qin Hui, cruel and insidious, stepped into the abyss of sin from here, killed Yue Fei and demoted Zhong Liang. His life must be a life to be despised and nailed to the stigma column of history forever."

“居心叵测的陈水扁从这里走上了分裂国家的道路，嘴角邪恶的笑脸干枯了他丑恶的灵魂。”

"Chen Shui Bian, who had a sinister intention, stepped on the road of splitting the country from here, and his ugly soul was dried up by his evil smile on the corner of his mouth."

[再用三个事例，从反面阐述，与前面的三个事例构成对比。]

[use three more examples to illustrate from the opposite side, and make a comparison with the previous three examples. ]

我不想再读下去，抚摩眼前的这扇门，沧桑而厚重。历史本没有错！错的是他们洞开了本不应该洞开的大门，跨出了他们本不应该跨出的一步！[小结上文。]

I don't want to read on and touch the door in front of me. It's vicissitudes and heaviness. History is not wrong! What's wrong is that they have opened the gate that they should not have opened and stepped out of the step that they should not have taken! [summary above. ]

枫竹林飘荡着幸福的歌谣，我回眸最初的那扇门，它闪着幽蓝幽蓝的光，我毫不犹豫地走了上去，迎接我期待的黄金般的人生！

Maple bamboo forest is floating with happy ballads. I look back at the original door, which is shining with blue light. I walk up without hesitation to meet the golden life I am looking forward to!

【评点】

[commentary]

本文是一篇议论性散文。首先，语言美丽，富于变化。作者善用比喻，把人生喻为两扇不同的门，这就把人生这一抽象的概念，化为了具体可感的形象。又如文章前4段，运用描写性语言，把读者带入了幽美的意境之中，起到了开篇即吸引人的作用。在主体部分，作者引入了六个历史人物为材料，但并不嫌繁琐，因为作者将这六个人物的事例分为两组，构成对比，既突出了中心，又有变化。前一组事例，用“曾经的……从这里走过”这一句式引出，具有整饬之美。后一组事例，则用“……从这里……”引出，既整洁，又与前面的一组句式不同，加上内容的区别，使文章整饬中有变化，不显得板滞沉闷，而是富于灵动变化。

This article is an argumentative essay. First of all, language is beautiful and varied. The author makes good use of metaphor and compares life to two different doors, which turns the abstract concept of life into a concrete and sensible image. As in the first four paragraphs of the article, the use of descriptive language brings the reader into a beautiful mood and plays an attractive role at the beginning. In the main part, the author introduces six historical figures as materials, but it is not too complicated, because the author divides the cases of these six figures into two groups, forming a contrast, which highlights the center and changes. In the former group, we use "once This sentence pattern leads to the beauty of neatness. For the latter group of cases, use "..." From here... " Lead out, not only neat, but also different from the previous set of sentence patterns, plus the difference of content, so that there is change in the article straightening, not dull, but full of flexible changes.

值得一提的是，作者善于使用从课本中积累的材料，《庄子：在我们无路可走的时候》（鲍鹏山，第五册）、《饮酒》（第三册）信手拈来，巧妙运用，显示出积累运用语言材料的良好功底。

It is worth mentioning that the author is good at using the materials accumulated from the textbook. Zhuangzi: when we have no way to go (Bao Pengshan, Volume 5), and drinking (Volume 3) are handy and skillfully used, which shows the good ability of accumulating and using language materials.