雨夜

雨，滴在心里，会激起水花，会引出波纹，与滴在江河中没什么分别，只是多了一丝感伤；其实感伤也该像那江河中的水花一样，转瞬即逝。

Rain, drips in the heart, will arouse the water, will lead to ripples, and drips in the river is no different, just a little more sentimental; in fact, sentimental also like the water in the river, fleeting.

——题记

-- inscription

雨点滴滴嗒嗒地从灰蓝色的天空中无奈地飞下来，撒落在这灰蒙蒙的城市中，一小股雨水从天窗悄悄地爬进来，缓缓地蠕动着，在天花板上留下弯弯曲曲的足迹。

Raindrops trickled down from the gray blue sky, and scattered in the gray city. A small stream of rain crept in quietly from the skylight, slowly wriggling, leaving winding footprints on the ceiling.

顺手泡一杯绿茶，茫茫地看着窗外。那雨滴似乎也漫无目的地，随风飘起，又随风落下，仿佛在寻找栖身之处。周围的一切似乎都与我格格不入，陌生的床、陌生的房间……闷热的夜，令我窒息，辗转不寐。何处才是我的容身之地？

Make a cup of green tea and look out of the window. The raindrop seems to be aimless, floating with the wind and falling with the wind, as if looking for shelter. Everything around me seems to be out of place with me. Strange bed, strange room The sultry night makes me suffocate and restless. Where is my shelter?

同样是一个令人厌烦的雨夜，爸爸妈妈在屋子里谈了一整夜。在一盏昏黄的台灯下，两个人促膝长谈，俨然一对多年未见的好友，仿佛有说不完的话，以至于连我站在门外都没有察觉。我仔细地盯着两人看，发现两人的脸上都已泪水模糊。第二天，妈妈就不见了。爸爸说，妈妈去寻找属于她的幸福去了。我当时并不懂得这句话的含义，但我知道，妈妈离开了我。我扑到爸爸怀里，大喊着：“她的幸福？什么叫她的幸福？难道你和我不是她的幸福吗？”爸爸沉默着，任凭我的泪水沾湿了他的衣裳。

It was also a boring rainy night. Mom and dad talked all night in the house. Under a dim yellow lamp, two people chatted with each other for a long time, just like a pair of friends they haven't seen for many years. They seemed to have endless words, so that they didn't even notice me standing outside the door. I stared at them carefully, and found that their faces were misty with tears. The next day, my mother was gone. My father said that my mother went to look for her happiness. I didn't know the meaning of this sentence at that time, but I knew that my mother left me. I jumped into my father's arms and shouted, "her happiness? What is her happiness? Are you and I not her happiness? " Father is silent, let my tears wet his clothes.

我时常安慰着自己，爸爸妈妈都已找到了自己的幸福，爸爸妈妈的幸福，就是我的幸福。两个人在一起过得不开心，分开是应该的，因为只有这样，才能将对彼此的伤害降到最低点。爸爸说，他们谈了一晚上，只是在讨论一个问题，那就是，该怎样向我解释。也许就是因为这个，我才不至于怨恨他们。只是在看到别人那美满而又完整的家庭，心中不禁漾起一丝羡慕，一丝苦涩。

I often comfort myself, mom and dad have found their own happiness, mom and dad's happiness is my happiness. When two people are unhappy together, it is proper to separate, because only in this way can the harm to each other be reduced to the lowest point. Dad said that they had been talking all night, but they were just discussing the question, that is, how to explain it to me. Maybe that's why I don't hate them. Just to see other people's happy and complete family, I can't help but feel a trace of envy and bitterness.

就这样，又过了3年。爸爸要出国学习半年，所以，我到妈妈家住。这是我第一次到妈妈家，他们似乎显得特别激动。在去的路上，我曾经想过，我永远不会理会那个男人，永远不会。因为只有爸爸才是妈妈的幸福，那个男人，不是，也永远不会是。但是，我的幼稚也恰恰证实了我的浅薄。当门打开的一刹那，我看到了一张熟悉的脸与一张素未谋面的脸。那两张脸是那么的般配，以至于我都不忍心……我叫了声“妈”，顺便叫了声“叔叔”，那声“叔叔”叫得那么沙哑、干涩，那可是我竭力说服自己叫的，因为我不想叫我妈伤心。他似乎有些吃惊，赶忙把我往屋里迎。他想接过我手里的行李，但我手抓得紧紧地，不留一丝余地。我抬头看看妈妈，妈妈的眼里闪出了一丝异样的眼神，似乎是愧疚、似乎是歉意……我一松手，行李落到了他手上，他好像完成了一次特殊的任务，高兴得像个孩子。他说了自从我进屋后的第一句话：“你们先聊着，我去做饭，这好歹也是你第一次来。”我看了他一眼，他像个做错了事的孩子，一头钻进了厨房。妈妈给我泡了杯茶，递给我。我说：“他对你挺好的。”我分明觉得那双递茶杯的手震颤了一下。妈妈小声地说：“嗯，挺好的。”“那就好。”我说道。我第一次感觉到，我们母女俩似乎无话可说。

In this way, another three years passed. My father wants to study abroad for half a year, so I go to my mother's house. This is my first time to my mother's house. They seem to be very excited. On the way to, I once thought, I will never pay attention to that man, never. Because only father is mother's happiness, that man, is not, and will never be. However, my childishness just proves my superficiality. When the door opened, I saw a familiar face and a face I had never met before. Those two faces are so matched that I can't bear to I called "Ma" and "Uncle" by the way, which was so hoarse and dry, but I tried to persuade myself to do so, because I didn't want to make my mother sad. He seemed a little surprised and rushed me into the room. He wanted to take my luggage, but I held it tightly, leaving no room. I look up at my mother. There is a strange look in her eyes. It seems to be guilt, it seems to be apology As soon as I let go, the luggage fell into his hands. He seemed to have completed a special task and was as happy as a child. He said the first sentence since I entered the house: "you talk first, I'll cook. This is your first time, anyway." I took a look at him. He went into the kitchen like a child who did something wrong. Mom made me a cup of tea and handed it to me. I said, "he's very kind to you." I felt a tremor in those hands. Mom whispered, "well, it's good." "That's good." I said. I felt for the first time that there seemed to be nothing to say between us.

不一会饭做好了，他做了满满一大桌菜。他不住地问妈妈：“这菜做得怎么样？”听到妈妈说：“挺好的。”他才放心。席间，他不住地往妈妈碗里夹菜，也不住地往我碗里夹菜。作为回敬，也作为一个不让妈妈伤心的理由，我夹了几棵菜心放到了他的碗里，他竟然就着这几棵菜心，吃了整整一碗饭。无语，又无语。我要离开这让我窒息的地方。我起身对妈妈说：“妈，我有点累了，我先睡了。”房门关上的一刹那，我分明听见他说：“是我做错了事了吗？”妈妈答道：“不，是我对不起她。”

Soon the meal was ready, and he made a large table full of vegetables. He kept asking his mother, "how is the dish?" I heard my mother say, "great." He was relieved. During the dinner, he kept putting vegetables in his mother's bowl and in my bowl. In return, as a reason not to make my mother sad, I took several dishes and put them in his bowl. He even ate a whole bowl of rice with these dishes. No words, no words. I'm going to leave the place where I suffocate. I got up and said to my mother, "Mom, I'm a little tired. I'll go to bed first." When the door closed, I heard him say, "did I do something wrong?" My mother replied, "no, I'm sorry for her."

突然，眼泪决堤。世界变得好模糊，水一直漫到心间。

Suddenly, tears burst. The world has become so fuzzy, water has been diffuse to the heart.

茶真苦呀，放了太多太多的茶叶。这雨何苦下得这么凄美？这淅沥沥的小雨，为什么惹我哭？强颜欢笑的时候，那风中的雨云猜中了我的心事，我从来不知自己如此的多愁善感是为了什么。

Tea is so bitter. There are too many tea leaves. Why is the rain so miserable? Why does the drizzle make me cry? When I was forced to smile, the rain clouds in the wind guessed my mind. I never knew why I was so sentimental.

这半年中，我不住地问母亲这样一个问题：“你幸福吗？”每当母亲回答这个问题，脸上总是荡漾着一丝不易察觉的幸福。

In the past six months, I kept asking my mother this question: "are you happy?" When the mother answers this question, there is always a trace of happiness on her face.

无疑，母亲是幸福的，就如同父亲一样。今天是我的生日。告别了14岁，迎来了15岁。

There is no doubt that a mother is happy, just like a father. Today is my birthday. Farewell to 14 years old, ushered in 15 years old.

也许，人也应该这样。要使自己从过去走出来，迎接新生活，将那段时空化作平面，将它叠好，压在记忆的箱底，任它去尘封，去化灰。

Maybe people should do the same. We should make ourselves come out from the past, meet the new life, turn that time and space into a plane, fold it well, press it on the bottom of the memory box, and let it go to dust and ashes.

我困了。也许明天又是新的一天，我，将是一个崭新的我。

I am sleepy. Maybe tomorrow is a new day, I, will be a new me.

一切，都是我希望……

Everything is what I hope

那个雨夜，让我一生难忘。

That rainy night, I will never forget.

不忧愁的脸，

Not sad face,

是我的少年，

It's my youth,

不苍黄的眼，

Eyes that are not yellow,

等岁月改变。

Wait for the years to change.