六人英语搞笑小品剧本：孔雀东南飞

六人英语搞笑剧本 孔雀东南飞,
英语小品剧本--《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）

Wanders every five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort) 刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny`smother(JMforshort) 刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort) 强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:Everybody says thatI’m hen pecked,but infact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my
wife is WuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!
(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I donotcare.I only want her to be tender
than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
My God!Who can help me?(下)

Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’sup mum?
JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and
dearest mother-in-law”.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been sorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……

英语小品剧本--《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all
day long,cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken
and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valua bleasagr and son!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goand ask your
son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you in sistedon
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen
to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrup tme!
L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And
I’ll marry whom ever you want me to
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I` m the mayor`s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter
Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go
and tell him.(下)
L(惊愕):What?The mayor`s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty!
(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,goand take her back!
J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!
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