陪娃写作业被逼疯？教你十个正确的“陪写姿势”

这几天的朋友圈突然开启新一轮的父母吐槽陪读模式——“当代女人快速衰老的真正元凶：陪娃写作业！”、“论第一批被00后气死的80后”…我们一起来感受一下。

辅导拼音10分钟，心率跳到120次/分钟！

底下的评论更是厉害，有的说自己要辅导三个孩子，特地戴个心率监测表，才能提醒自己不要发火……

一位家长陪孩子写作业到五年级，然后心梗住院了，还做了两个支架。最后他终于顿悟：想来想去还是命重要，作业什么的就顺其自然吧！

家长们在庆祝找到组织的同时，纷纷转发评论，爆料自己的陪读经历，简直就是一部惊天动地的《陪读血泪史》……

为什么孩子做作业总是磨蹭？家长的辅导方式真的有效吗？一起来看看外国专家们给家长支的十招，教你如何避免和孩子的家庭作业较劲。

孩子拖延或者干脆罢工，是因为他们没有认识到任务有什么意义，要么有其他事情分心，要么在理解、组织或动力方面遇到困难。不停地催促并不管用。 

如果陪读时有一点创造性，父母可以帮助孩子克服这些障碍，提高效率。以下就是鼓励孩子更加自信地完成作业，减少冲突的十种办法。

1. Establish routines and discourage bad habits

形成固定作息，克服坏习惯

Set the tone with an uncluttered, well-equipped study space, and create a consistent schedule that includes breaks.

先找一个干净整洁、设施完备的学习空间，制定一个能坚持下去的作息时间表。

Prevent bad habits by intervening when kids toggle between texting and studying, sacrifice sleep for gaming or start work at midnight.

当孩子一会儿发短信一会儿学习，不睡觉打游戏，或者半夜才开始写作业时，家长要及时阻止这些坏习惯。

2. Name and tame negative voices

战胜软弱心理，并为之命名

Train kids to notice defeatist thoughts. When a voice whispers, “You’re not good at math,” they can give it a name, such as Mike. Ask them to choose a different name for a voice that affirms they are good at something. Then say: “It’s not you. Mike is causing you problems.”

教会孩子留意失败主义的想法。当有个声音悄悄地说“你不擅长数学”时，他们可以给这个声音起一个名字，例如麦克。让他们再选择一个不同的名字，代表一个肯定他们擅长的某项活动的声音。然后说：“这不是你。这是麦克在找你麻烦。”

3. Dress for success

穿戴“成功服饰”

Have your kids choose special learning attire, such as a thinking hat or a pair of glasses, that they wear only while studying. Researchers at Northwestern University found that even adults are influenced by their clothing. In a study published in the journal Child Development, researchers found that young children persevered longer when they pretended to be a superhero.

让孩子挑一套特别的学习服饰，例如一顶思考帽，或一副眼镜，只在学习时穿戴。美国西北大学的研究人员发现，即使是成年人们也会受到所穿服饰的影响。研究人员在《儿童发展》期刊发表的一篇文章中说，当孩子们假装成超级英雄时，他们坚持学习的时间更长。

4. Let school be the bad guy

让学校当坏人

If negotiating homework becomes toxic, it is time to contact the child’s teacher or school counselor. Jennifer Goodstein, a sixth-grade teacher in Bethesda, Md. , says she tells parents to stop and write her an email when their child melts down. “We can be the bad guys and say, ‘Okay, Brendan, you were fighting with your mother, so you’re going to do the work here,’ ” she says.

如果很难与孩子就作业进行沟通，就要联系孩子的老师或者辅导员。马里兰州贝塞斯达的六年级教师珍妮弗•古德斯坦说，她让家长在孩子不听话时给她写邮件。她说：“我们可以当坏人，出面说‘好啊，布伦丹，你跟妈妈对着干，那么你到这儿来完成作业吧。’”

5. Give kids options, but inspect what you expect

孩子选择，家长监督

Allow kids to choose when they work or how they would like to approach a teacher, but follow up, says Kim Campbell, a consultant for the Association for Middle Level Educators in Minnetonka, Minn. If kids promise to connect with a teacher on their own, they need to know what will happen if they do not follow through.

明尼苏达州中等水平教育者协会顾问金•坎贝尔说，让孩子自己选择什么时候写作业，或者如何与老师打交道。如果孩子保证自己联系老师，他们需要知道，如果他们不照做会有何种后果。

6. Introduce physical breaks

休息时活动筋骨

“When I see that kids are falling asleep, we’ll do 20 jumping jacks, or play rock-paper-scissors, or pretend we’re in the ocean and there are sharks and we need to swim really fast,” Campbell says. To enhance concentration, she recommends that kids take a walk, play sports or go on a bike ride before they start homework.

坎贝尔说：“当我看到孩子们昏昏欲睡时，我们会做20个开合跳，或者玩会儿石头剪刀布，或者假装我们在大海里，有鲨鱼，我们需要飞快地游泳。”为了提高专注力，她建议让孩子在做作业前散会儿步，做做体育活动，或骑会儿自行车。

7. Establish reward systems

建立奖励制度

Rewards work best when they are immediate. “You earn them when you do your homework for a week, not a quarter,” Campbell says. “Some parents will say you have to get all A’s for the semester, but long-term goals don’t work.” The payoff can be something small, such as stickers to decorate their notebook.

如果奖励是立竿见影的，就能发挥最大的作用。坎贝尔说：“比如，只要连续一周做完作业就可以获得奖励。一些家长会说你这学期所有科目都要得A，但长期目标不起作用。”这种奖励可以是某种小东西，例如用来装饰笔记本用的贴纸。

8. Make modifications and connections

让作业变得有趣

Enhance the homework experience by taking field trips or making connections to sports, popular media or current events. Parents also can make the most of technology. Kids can study with friends online or use apps to make flashcards, break units into smaller exercises or brainstorm ideas for essays.

家长可以带孩子进行户外探险，或者把作业与体育活动、流行事物、当前事件联系起来，从而让做作业变得更有趣。家长还可以充分利用技术手段。孩子可以在网上和朋友们一起学习，利用应用程序制作单词卡，或者把大量作业分成小练习，或者写作文前搞个头脑风暴。

But don’t do the work for them. As Wormeli says, “What’s the greater gift we can give our kids, that they learn it and it goes into long-term memory, or that they get a false sense of competency?”

但不要替他们做作业。正如沃姆利所说：“我们能给孩子的更好的礼物，是他们自己学会，形成长期记忆，还是他们对能力形成错误认识？”

9. Identify role models to build grit

树立行为榜样，增强毅力

Parents can ask kids to name people they admire, whether they are professional athletes or favorite writers. When the child wants to give up, ask what that role model would do.

父母可以让孩子说出他们崇拜的人，不管是职业运动员还是喜欢的作家。当孩子想要放弃时，问问他们，自己的榜样会怎么做。

10. Go easy on the pressure

不要施加太大压力

Too much pressure causes kids to push back. “At an age when you’re just starting to discover who you are, you’re already being told who you need to be,” Jovanovic says. “When the gap between who you want to be and who your parents need you to be is big, you start rebelling.”

太大的压力会让孩子退却。（心理学家）约万诺维奇说：“当孩子还处在发现自己是谁的年龄阶段时候，已经被告知需要成为什么样的人。当孩子想成为的人与父母需要他成为的人之间存在巨大差距时，他会逐渐变得叛逆。”