如何找到“达西先生” 简•奥斯丁的恋爱指南

A lot has changed since Jane Austen wrote about women's quest to find a perfect match in 19th century Britain.

世事变迁，沧海桑田，如今的时代与简·奥斯丁所描绘的那个女子们寻觅完美伴侣的19世纪的英国已经大不一样了。

But one fan of the writer believes many of Austen's lessons on love still ring true today. She reveals how much of the advice applicable to Regency-era courting is just as relevant to the Tinder generation...

但是作家的一位粉丝相信，奥斯丁教导我们的许多关于爱情的知识在当今仍然适用。这位女粉丝告诉我们，那些本来适用于摄政时期的恋爱原则仍与今天的“陌陌时代”息息相关。

Rule One: Be A Woman, Not A Girl

原则一：做一个女人，而不是小女孩

In Persuasion, Austen shows us the womanly fortitude of Anne Elliot is far superior to the girlish shenanigans of Louisa Musgrove. Louisa's flirtation with Captain Wentworth does not work, either to win his heart or to keep her dignity - little wonder she ends the novel by literally having her head examined!

在《劝导》一书中，奥斯丁告诉我们，安·艾略特那种女性的坚毅品质远优于路易莎·姆斯格雷夫那样的小女生伎俩。路易莎对温特沃斯上尉的挑逗不起任何作用，她既没有赢得他的心，也没有保留住自己的尊严——难怪在小说的结尾作者真要给她做脑部检查！

Anne, by contrast, follows her own much more noble course and, in doing so, gives a lesson to us all. We should put away those childish tricks and conduct ourselves as an equal to our man.

相反，安遵循着自己更高尚的多的求爱方法，这样以来，也给我们都上了一课。我们应该放弃那些小孩子式的伎俩，举手投足都要把自己当成与男人平等的人。

Rule Two: Find A Man, Not A Guy

原则二：找一个男子汉，而不是花心男

There is a particular kind of creature who looks like a man on first encounter but who is, in fact, a very different species. Jane Austen would have called this creature a 'puppy' or a 'coxcomb'; we would likely refer to him as a guy.

有一种特殊的人，初次结识时你觉得他似乎是一个男子汉，可事实上，他是一种完全不同的人。简·奥斯丁把这种人称为“小狗狗”或者“花心鬼”；我们可能更愿意将这种人称为花心男。

But however we choose to name him, we should always take care to avoid him!

无论我们用什么名字来成糊状这种人，我们都要随时留心远离他们！

Mr Knightley ends that novel in the hope that Frank Churchill may mature under Jane's guidance, but he is wrong. Boys may grow into men, yes, but guys never do!

在《爱玛》一书的结尾，奈特利先生还对弗兰克·丘吉尔心存希望，指望他会在简的引导之下成熟起来，但是他错了。小男孩也许可以长成男子汉，花心男却永远不会成为男子汉！

小编注：小说《爱玛》中，简·费尔法克斯是一个完美的女性形象，完全具有嫁给一个好丈夫的优势。然而,她最终却嫁给了自私自利、名声不好的弗兰克·丘吉尔。

Rule Three: Listen to What They Say

原则三：听听妈妈们的意见

Pride and Prejudice begins with one of the most famous lines in English literature - 'It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.'

《傲慢与偏见》一书的开场白是英语文学中最著名的句子之一：“一个单身男子，坐拥万贯家财，自然欲求妻室，此道理普世公认。”

Indeed he is! It seems that women like Mrs Bennet - and like your mother and mine - do know a thing or two after all! Time-tested rules are never secret, rather, they are universally acknowledged.

确是如此！像班奈特夫人——还有你的妈妈和我的妈妈——这样的人毕竟懂得多！这些经过时间考验的真理永远都不会是秘密，相反，是全天下人都知道的。

Rule Four: Don't Just Sit There, Say Something!

原则四：别光坐着，展开行动

'Sometimes, men just want to drive in silence without saying a word. Let them. Maybe he's thinking about how he's going to propose to you one day.'

“有时候，男人就想一句话也不说，陷入沉思。随他们去吧。或许他正想着，哪天他怎么向你求婚。”

But for the Jane Austen woman, the idea of sitting demurely in the passenger seat, not just of the car but of the conversation, is, frankly, offensive!

但是对简·奥斯丁来说，让女人在车里，乃至在一场交谈之中，只是端庄的坐在乘客的位置上，简直就是不可理喻。

Elizabeth Bennet, for one, would never do any such thing, and sparkles throughout Pride and Prejudice with her lively and witty repartee - 'Tease him, laugh at him' is how she deals with the stand-offish Mr Darcy.

比如说，伊丽莎白·班奈特就觉不会这样，在《傲慢与偏见》一书中贯穿着她生动睿智，妙语连珠的形象——对拒人千里的达西先生，她的对策是“挑弄他，嘲笑他”。

Rule Five: : No Girlfriends

原则五：防闺蜜

Sense and Sensibility's Lucy Steele is a great enthusiast for 'girl-talk'. But 'girl-talk' has that toxic tendency of making us more indifferent to what is real, transporting us to a realm of hyperbole in which nothing much matters - hence Lucy's utter carelessness as to which of the Ferrars brothers she ends up getting married to. Steer clear of 'girl-talk,' says Jane Austen, and keep your romantic analyses for the only one who merits them: your man.

《理智与情感》中的露西·斯蒂尔非常热衷于“女生间的悄悄话”，但是“女生间的悄悄话”有其负面作用，会让我们对现实越来越漠不关心，让我们陷入一种认为一切都无所谓的夸张的思维方式之中——所以露西才会毫不在意自己最终会嫁给法拉利众兄弟之中的哪一个。远离“女生间的悄悄话”，简·奥斯丁说，把你关于爱情的思考只留给那个值得这些思考的人——你的爱人。