爆笑盘点：那些年招聘方对求职者说过的谎话

“We’ll be sure to keep your resume on hand for future opportunities!”

“我们会保留你的简历，将来有合适的职位再通知你。”

No you won’t. You deleted this email thread 5 seconds after you sent this email. You emptied my resume into your trash bin and quoted parts of my cover letter to your employees over lunch to make them laugh.

不，你们不会的。你发好这封邮件后马上就删了。我的简历被扔进垃圾桶，你们茶余饭后还会取笑我求职信里的内容。

“A lot of people are in the same position as you are!”

“很多人跟你们的情况相同。”

I believed you until I turned on the TV and saw all the teenagers in the commercials for the upcoming winter olympics.

我相信你们的话，直到我看电视看到冬奥会广告里的少年们。

“We really value all of our applicants and take time to observe each letter and resume carefully!”

“我们重视每个申请者，而且花时间仔细看每封求职信和简历。”

No you don’t.

你们才不会呢。

“This is just opening the path for something better to come along!”

“这只是开始，会有更好的职位等着你。”

If by better you mean deferring student loans and picking up applications from Starbucks and Subway…then yes.

如果“更好”是说借不到学生贷款以及去星巴克和地铁站打工的话，你们没说错。

“We had so many candidates- it was a TOUGH decision.”

“候选人太多——做决定很困难。”

You knew who you were going to hire when you interviewed me.

你们给我面试的时候就想好要不要聘用我了。

“We’ve all been in your situation before.”

“我们都经历过你的情况。”

You started with this company as an intern during your senior year…

你大四的时候就在这家公司当实习生了啊……

“We’ll make a decision soon and let you know!”

“我们会很快做好决定通知你。”

It’s been 6 months…

已经6个月没消息了……

“We encourage to reapply!”

“我们鼓励求职者再次申请。”

When I emailed you several months later about another position you never replied...

几个月后我发邮件问其他职位的情况，你们没回复我啊……