Real men don't cry. We just get something in our eye
By Nigel Farndale
'Daddy, you're crying,' say my sons. 'No, boys, I'm man-crying. Very useful skill.'
A short walk from my house in Hampshire, on a hill overlooking theheathland(石南灌丛), is aplaque(斑块,血小板)marking the spot where Richard Pryce Jonesdeliberately(故意地,谨慎地)crashed his Halifax bomber during the war. He could haveparachuted(跳伞)to safety, but that would have meant crashing into the village. Theepitaph(碑文,墓志铭)reads: "He died that others might live."
It never fails to move me. Not to tears, you understand. That would be disrespectful. But I do usually managea lump in the throat(喉咙哽住)and that film ofmoisture(水分,湿度)over the eyes that men have in their emotional armoury. Gordon Brown demonstrated the non-crying cry beautifully when he made his farewell speech on the steps of Number 10. That catch in the throat. The determination not to weep in public. At that moment, if at no other, he had nobility.
Not everyone can carry it off. I don't think Paul Gascoigne ever quite got the hang of it, for example. But I like to think I have it down to an art, my techniquehoned(磨光)from years of watching The Railway Children, Sleepless in Seattle and that scene in Dumbo when the mother elephant is locked away. "Daddy!" my sons will say, pointing the accusing finger. "You're crying!"
"Me? Over Dumbo? Ha ha ha. No, boys, what I am doing is man-crying, a sort of non-crying cry. I'll teach you it one day. Very useful."
They are too young to appreciate thenuance(细微差别)yet, but when they are older I will explain that opensobbing(啜泣,哭泣)is associated with being female, and so inappropriate for men. The Charlie Chaplin analogy might be useful here. He once said that the way to act drunk is to imagine yourself a drunk man trying to act sober. The same is true when a man learns the non-crying cry. To be convincing, you must look as if you are trying to avoid tears.
In this respect(在这方面), it is important for a young man to appreciate the difference between male tears and female. I remember once asking the actress Emilia Fox if she could cry at will, right there and then, over lunch. To my astonishment, she could – from a standing start. Fat tears rolling down her cheeks. When she had finished, she resumed her smilingcountenance(面容,表情).
Those are female tears, and the reason you never hear anyone say: "It's enough to make a grown woman cry." That expression only works when it refers to "grown men" and though that may seemtautological(赘述的), the "grown" is justified. Not all men are grown. The emotionallyincontinent(立即,即刻)exhibitionists who cry when they are kicked off talent shows such as The X Factor are not grown men, for example. Men have to be careful what they cry at, because some subjects are more worthy of tears than others. Grief, obviously. But not self-pity. And rarely should a man cry in pain. And never at the death of a princess he didn't know. Those are the rules.
I suspect my colleague Matt Pritchett might be with me on this. One of his cartoons this past week showed a father next to a television tuned to the World Cup, explaining to his children that "at some point in the next few weeks, you are going to see me cry". And the day after the last survivor of the Great Escape died, he did a cartoon showing a gravestone with a mound of tunnelled earthtrailing away(逐渐减弱)from it. I seemed to have something in my eye when I saw that, and I expect he had the same something in his eye when he drew it.
出乎意料:创业者十大不同寻常的信念
时间不够用? 教你节约时间10妙招
2013应届毕业生薪资调查 起薪不高涨幅不错
职场英语:13件事助你登上职场巅峰
新书介绍谷歌求职面试怪题
成功企业家们后悔的五件事
最难就业年 英语专业就业前景分析
赢在起跑线 大学生职业规划指导
想提高工作效率?10个简单方法帮你完成更多工作
实习生禁忌:实习的时候这么做你就惨了
办公室一族注意 教你怎样在职场中保持精力充沛
信息控们 别无休止阅读资讯了
你穿对了吗?三大行业职场着装禁忌
Facebook副总为职场人士提出十条建议
平衡工作与休闲 拥有兴趣爱好益处多
企业界趋势:顶尖企业着力促进员工沟通
制作任务清单 高效管理时间
应届毕业生必看:德勤CEO给应届生的工作建议
在工作中脱颖而出的六大方法
大学毕业生注意了 各地落户政策大盘点
找工作出奇招 利用社交网络联系工作
总谈论自己想法 难以实现人生目标
老板不喜欢你?揭秘老板最痛恨的员工十大恶习
十大习惯助你生活井井有条
很多人的咖啡馆:集体创业真的零风险吗?
周五很累效率低?拒绝七件事提高工作效率
最难就业年:八成应届生未就业 平均起薪2119元
别人对你的话题不感兴趣的六大征兆
职场人士注意 鼠标键盘可造成慢性疾病
亿万富翁对应届毕业生的建议:人际关系是一切
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |