1. Self-awareness
1. 保持清醒
Complaining can be contagious, so if you find yourself falling into the same mental habits as the malcontents around you, stop yourself. When a negative thought pops into your mind, immediately revise it. Instead of telling yourself, "That's a nice shirt, but I can't afford it," change the message to, "That will look great with my black pants when I can afford it". By doing this, you're fostering the process of neurogenesis -- creating and reinforcing pathways in your brain that lead to positive behaviors.
抱怨是会传染的。当你和别人一样喜欢抱怨时,立刻停下来。当脑海中冒出消极想法时,立即矫正它。 如果说:“那件衬衫真好看,但是我买不起”,你可以这样告诉自己:“当我买得起这件衬衫时,它和我的黑裤子会很搭”。通过这种方法促进神经的生成——在大脑中建立和加强积极思维的路径。
Of course, everyone complains sometimes: Your favorite team loses. Your computer crashes. Deadlines pile up. It's human to vent now and then. But the less frequently you complain, the more time will pass between lapses into negativity. This is how rewiring the brain works.
当然,每个人都有抱怨的时候:钟爱的球队输了,电脑崩溃了,一堆工作没有完成。偶尔发泄是人之本性。但抱怨的频率越少,你陷入消极的概率也会越小。这是使大脑思维不断更新的方式。
2. Distance yourself
2. 远离是非
Whenever possible escape from negative conversations. Excuse yourself and go somewhere quiet, ideally somewhere outdoors in the fresh air. Think of something pleasant before returning. You have to take this seriously, because negative people can and will pull you into the quicksand.
无论何时,尽可能不参与消极对话。找个借口远离是非,去到一个安静的地方,最好是有新鲜空气的户外。在重新投入工作之前想些美好的事物。你必须要认真对待抱怨这件事,因为别人的抱怨也会让你变得消极。
3. Don't try to [w]convert[/w] complainers
3. 不要试图改变抱怨的人
If you find yourself trapped in a toxic group of complainers in a meeting or at a social event, simply choose silence. Let their words bounce off you while you think of something else.
当你在聚会或者社交场合中,周围都是爱抱怨的人时,最好保持沉默。为了不受他们影响,你可以想些别的事来分散注意力。
Attempting to stop the griping may just alienate the group and make you a target, but you can redirect the discussion in your own mind.If someone says:"I hate Mondays, weekends are too short," try countering that by thinking, "I'm glad I rested up over the weekend, so I'm ready to make some headway on that big project"-- or whatever positive thoughts you can conjure up to keep you from getting mentally mired in]mired in someone else's whining.
如果要阻止别人抱怨,也许会令你成为众矢之的。但你可以在脑海中转换话题的思考方式。如果有人说:“我讨厌星期一,周末真是太短了”,你可以尝试在脑海中反驳:“我很开心,因为我周末休息得很好,现在我已经准备好投入到那个大项目了”,或者用任何积极的想法使自己不受他人抱怨影响。
4. Transfer responsibility
4. 转移责任
On occasions when you're pressed against the wall while someone is ranting, throw the responsibility back at them by calmly asking, "So what do you intend to do about it?" In most cases, complainers don't really want a solution, nor are they looking for sympathy. They just want to vent, and this tactic will stop them in their tracks.
当你承受巨大压力,有人却不断唠叨时,你可以心平气和地问他:“那你打算怎么做呢”,从而把责任扔回给对方。大多时候,抱怨的人并不是真正要寻找解决问题的出路,或者寻求同情。他们仅仅是想通过发泄来找个出口。
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