
If there were no morals-who would you be? What would you act like? What would you talk like? What would you think like? Would you really be any different?
如果没有了任何的道德标准,你会是谁?会做什么,说什么,想什么,你会与现在有什么不同呢?
Our morals are rules laid down for us by a society called a religion or a society called a church or a school. Some will even say that these laws were laid down for us by the divine-in whatever form we see the divine. Regardless of their origin, they tell us what is wrong and what is right and we are taught that we have within us a conscience which will tell us when we have violated one of these rules by making us feel guilty. And so we have a direction and whether we land on the "bad" side of these rules or the "good" side of these rules, we do it by conforming our mind, heart and behavior to what it takes to fit into that identity. Once conformed, we could say, "I'm a bad dude" or "I think I'm a pretty good person." So, essentially what we have said is that we learn to rely on one of these two categories (or one of the gradations between them) as identity. They define us. But these are external constructs that very often do not even truly touch the deepest inner regions of the psyche.
事实上,我们的道德标准通常是由教堂或者学校等宗教和社会团体来定义的,有些人甚至认为这是神赐的准则。这些道德标准,不知源自哪里,一味的告诉我们什么是对什么是错,告诉我们一旦违反了某项规则,内心的良知自然会让我们感到羞愧。于是我们被指引着把自己的想法、意愿、行为与道德标准的“好”与“坏”去衡量,一旦符合,我们便知道了自己是好人还是坏人。所以,基本上我们只需要在“好”与“坏”这两个类别里(或者某个中间地带)找到自己的定位,由它们来评判自己。可是,这些外部构想大部分时候并不能触及到我们的内心深处。
So, how do we even begin to define ourselves without the use of these external stratagems? We go to the deeper inner regions of the psyche where they do not exist. And how, you will I'm certain ask, does one do that?
那么,不去理会这些肤浅的伎俩,我们又该如何来定义自己呢?所谓“内心深处”的地方并不是真实存在,就算存在,我们又能做些什么?
We begin by refusing to repress material in our everyday lives. We begin by staying conscious in a given moment about what's going on inside of us-and allowing it to stay in the forefront of our minds so that we can see it and feel it and even dialogue with it. In so doing we are treating the energy of emotion, thought and sensation as valid, instead of invalidating it immediately by sending it to its room in the unconscious.
首先,我们不能再在日常的生活中压抑自己。我们要保持清醒,时刻关注内心的动态并让它停留在意识前沿,这样我们才能看到它,感觉到它,甚至与它对话。通过这样的方式把转瞬即逝的情绪、想法和感觉转化为有用的力量,而不是让它们在无意间消失。
That said, many of us don't even know how to access our feelings in a given moment. Try asking yourself what you are feeling right this minute. Of what are you immediately aware? Is it a thought that appears first, or an emotion. Thoughts will often describe an event instead of a feeling, or they will start off with "I think" or they will use the word that as in "I feel that...". There is no that in a feeling. A that will be followed by an explanation of why you feel what you feel, but will not state the feeling itself. A feeling will be simply described by its name: "I feel angry," "I feel sad," "I feel mildly irritated." If you find it difficult to get to a feeling you may have to try some other tricks to sort of jog your feelings loose in order to grab hold of them. You might try writing poetry or doing art work just allowing it to flow from you without edit or revision and then go back and look at the picture or read what you've written and ask yourself to find the feeling trying to be expressed. If you are still having trouble getting to a feeling, you might want to try working with a therapist on this.
问题是,很多人并不知道如何在特定的时刻抓住自己的感觉。那么,试着问问自己:“这一刻你在想什么?” 这时,即刻出现在你脑子里的是什么,一个想法还是一种情绪?想法一般代表一个事件而不是感觉,它们会以 “我认为……” 或者 “我觉得……” 来表述自己。情绪则没有类似的表述,它们不会阐明自己,而是让你意识到它们出现的原因。情绪通常以简单直接的方式来描述,比如 “我很生气,” “我很难过,” “我有些恼火。” 如果你觉得这很难,你可以尝试用放松的方式来唤起你的感觉,随着心情写诗,或者画画,然后看看自己完成的作品,试着从中读出自己的感觉。如果这些都行不通,你还可以寻求心理医师的帮助。
Once you get to a feeling you might want to try to start a dialogue with the feeling, so that it can tell you what it came to tell you. Our feelings are telling us something about ourselves and our lives. They are not telling us about someone else or someone else's life. Are you feeling resentful of a coworker, because you end up having to do his job-but also because you hate the job and end up having to do more of it because he's not doing his job. What does that feeling tell you? Does it tell you that you must be a "bad" person in some kind of way because you have these "negative" feelings? If so, you are still using external stratagems to define yourself. If you step beyond that, what does your feeling tell you about your life? Could it possibly be telling you something like "Go get a new job that you love?"
一旦你抓住了自己的感觉,试着和它交流,让它告诉你它为什么会出现。由此我们可以更多的了解自己和自己的生活,与他人无关。试问,你是否对同事有所不满,因为你需要做他的工作,或者,你其实讨厌这工作本身,而同事的不作为让你承担了更多你不喜欢的事。你的感觉告诉了你什么?因为拥有这些负面情绪,所以你就是个“坏人”?如果是,那么你仍然在用外在的因素来评判自己。试着跨过这一步,想想你的情绪是否反映了你的生活?或许它想对你说的是:“去换一份你真正喜欢的工作吧。”
Is there someone inside of us who can direct us from something deeper and more real than mere morality? What if loving all of life, really loving all of life unconditionally-really unconditionally-were the guiding light? What if loving life unconditionally means accepting what we have as it is without judging or interpreting it to be unacceptable. This doesn't mean we don't change our lives once we have accepted what is. It means that our acceptance of life as it is allows us to change our lives according to who we actually are, rather than according to some external and internalized code.
在我们的内心深处,有没有一个人,能让我们看到比道德标准更加深层和真实的东西呢?其实我们应该热爱生活,无条件的热爱生活。不去判断生活是否令人满意,只是去接受它本来的样子。当然这并不代表我们不能改变生活,事实上,正是对生活的热爱和接受允许了我们根据自己的内心去改变生活,而不是根据任何外在或内在的规则。
Loving life unconditionally means that whatever we are feeling about a given scenario in our lives tells much more about ourselves than it does about the given scenario. This means all of our work on acceptance is an inside job, and it further means that the more internal we go, the more of the external we can receive. This makes life bigger and rounder. And it allows to live with at least a modicum of peace. So, who are you without your morals?
无条件的热爱生活意味着我们对某些事件的感觉往往比事件本身更具启示意义。而且,在意识上更深层的认知,将在现实中带给我们更大的收获。人生会变得更加丰富和充实,我们也会以更加平和的心态去生活。所以,除去你的道德标准,你想成为怎样的你呢?
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