增强自信的3种方法

Here's one of my favorite stories: when one of my friends was a little girl, her mom took her out for one of those special mother-daughter days. My friend looked around the room of the restaurant they were seated in and said, "Mom, that woman is acting beautiful, even though she isn't." If there was ever any doubt about it, our behavior really does influence the way others see us. A child might notice a discrepancy between confidence and physical beauty (they say the darndest things!), but an adult would likely take the behavior as fact. Because she herself was convinced of it, the woman in the restaurant was a knock out. Here are three ways to get such enviable confidence flowing yourself.

这是我最喜欢的故事之一：我一个朋友还很小的时候，她妈妈在一个特殊的母女日带她出去。我的朋友环顾她们坐着的餐厅房间，然后说：“妈妈，那个女人尽管一点也不漂亮，也装成很漂亮。”即使这是毫无疑问的，但是我们的行为的确影响别人怎么看待我们。小孩会注意到自信和人体美之间的差距，但一个大人会把这种行为当成事实。因为她自己也相信，餐厅里的女人是个美女。下面是从你身上流露出这种令人羡慕的自信的3种方法。

Set yourself an achievable goal.

给自己定一个可实现的目标。

Confidence comes from competence (at least that's one of the places it comes from). Set yourself up for success with an achievable goal, like running a 5K or organizing your digital photos. Or give yourself several smaller goals, like cleaning out a junk drawer, or making it to the gym five times in one week. It doesn't matter what the goals are. What matters is the feeling of satisfaction that comes from setting out to do something, and then doing it. So what do you want to accomplish today, this week, this month?

自信来自能力（至少是其中一个方面）。为自己的成功设定一个可实现的目标，例如跑5公里，或整理你的数码照片。或者给自己定一些较小的目标，如清理装废品的抽屉，或一周去健身房锻炼5次。不管目标是什么都没关系。关键是设定目标做某事后，努力奋斗的满足感。所以，你今天，这个星期，这个月想要完成的事是什么呢？

What does confidence look like?

自信是什么样子？

Picture the people who you think seem most confident. What is it about Michelle Obama, Susan Sarandon, and Phylicia Rashad (a few of my models)? Your confidence models don't even have to be real people. They could be characters in your favorite books, like Anne of Green Gables and Elizabeth Bennet (okay, a few more of personal faves). What is it about these women that so appeals to you? Notice the way they speak, the way they hold themselves, the way they sit. What are the outward trappings of confidence that you would like to have yourself? Pretend you're a scientist, and really study was confidence looks like.

拍下你认为最自信的人的照片。米歇尔•奥巴马，苏珊•萨兰登和菲利西亚•拉斯海德怎么样？你自信模仿对象不一定是现实中的人。他们可以是你喜欢书籍，像《绿山墙的安妮》和伊丽莎白这些人物。这些女性为什么那么吸引你？注意她们说话，展现自己和坐的方式。你自己所要拥有的自信的外部标志是什么？假如你是一名科学家，那么，自信的样子就是真正地研究。

Fake it till you make it.

假装自信达到目的

I used to have complicated feelings about this phrase. Who wants to fake confidence? We want to actually be confident. But strangely, faking it works. Whether "it" is confidence, romantic feelings towards your partner at the end of a bad day, wanting to go to the gym, or whatever, at some point you drop the act. You forget you're supposed to be acting confident and you just are. Think of it this way: It's like getting to the gym. You don't want to go, but to get yourself there, you pretend that you really can't wait to pound it out on the treadmill. Afterward, when you're glowing, happy, and filled with a sense of vitality and accomplishment, it doesn't matter whether you faked the motivation that got you there or not. The end result was the same, and you got to reap the benefits.

我过去对这个表达有着复杂的感觉。谁想假装自信呢？我们想要的是真正的自信。但是很奇怪，假装自信的确有用。无论是否自信，在你糟糕一天结束时对伴侣的浪漫感情，如想去健身房，等等，不然，在某种时候你会放弃这种行为。你忘记你是假装自信的，而实际上你是真正的自信。这样想：很快就达到健身房了。你不想去，但是迫使自己去。你假装真的等不及要在跑步机上连续跑步。当你过后容光焕发，快乐，充满生气和成就感后，就跟你是否假装的动机没有关系了。最终的结果是一样的，而你从中获益。