另一半不想听到的那些事

1. "We need to talk."

1. "我们需要谈谈。"

Even if you really do need to talk, this isn't a great way to start things off. "It always means that there is going to be a difficult conversation, and it's probably not going to go well," says Jill Murray, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist and author. "The fear of the unknown and the accompanying dread makes it worse."

即便你很想和他/她谈一谈，这句开场白也并不合适。"因为这意味着接下来的话题将十分沉重，且最终进展可能并不顺利，"持证心理治疗师兼作家吉尔·莫里（Jill Murray）博士说道。"对未知的担心以及随之而来的恐惧会使谈话更加糟糕。"

2. "You should know how I'm feeling."

2. "你应该知道我的感受。"

No matter how well your spouse knows you, they probably can't guess your exact emotions. "Humans aren't natural mind readers," notes David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert. As Bennett explains, most people can't actually tell what someone is feeling if they're not told, even if that person is their spouse.

无论另一半是否了解你，他/她都不太可能猜出你的真实感受。"人类并非生来就会读心术，"持证顾问兼情感专家大卫·班内特（David Bennett）指出。班内特解释道，如果一个人未明确说明他/她的感受，大多数人是猜不到他/她的想法的，即便那个人是你的另一半。

3. "Relax!"

3. "放轻松！"

"In the midst of something tense, the word 'relax' from your spouse only ramps things up," says Mitzi Bockmann, a certified life coach. Heed her advice and avoid this directive at all costs.

"另一半在剑拔弩张时说出的'放轻松'只会让事态更严重，"持证生活教练米茨·博克曼（Mitzi Bockmann）说道。谨遵她的建议，并不惜一切代价避免说出这句话。

4. "You talk too much."

4. "你太啰嗦了。"

Dismissing your spouse as a chatterbox when they're animated about something is a backhanded way of breaking down communication. It's completely reasonable to expect to say your piece, but it's never a good idea to tell your spouse that they have to zip it for you do to so.

当另一半对某件事侃侃而谈时，对他/她不理不睬是中断对话的反面教材。虽然直言不讳合情合理，但让另一半闭嘴却从来不是好主意。

5. "You're just like my ex."

5. "我前任也像你这样。"

Comparing your spouse to a past lover can be hurtful, even if they're not usually competitive or jealous. "Most times in life, comparisons are unhelpful to us psychologically," explains Alex Hedger, a cognitive behavioral therapist and the clinical director of Dynamic You Therapy Clinics. "Comparing a partner to a previous partner often causes fear and resentment. It can also prevent the partner who is making the comparison from experiencing their current relationship fully."

即便从另一半的通常表现看，他/她并不好胜或嫉妒，但将他/她和前任作比较则十分伤人。"生命中的大多数时候，对比不利于我们的心理健康，"认知行为治疗师兼动态自我治疗诊所（Dynamic You Therapy Clinics）的临床主任亚历克斯·海杰（Alex Hedger）解释道。"将另一半和前任作比较通常会带来恐惧和憎恨。而作比较的一方也会受到影响，无法全身心地投入这段恋情。"