我为什么不再和婆婆争来争去了?

I had always dreamed that my future mother-in-law would be like the one Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City had for a while when she dated fiction writer Vaughn Wysel. They adored one another. This is what I wanted: a woman who'd only had sons and who would drop the 'in-law' and see me simply as a daughter. Who'd take me under her wing and love me and be super excited her son was with a girl like me. Who would tell him how lucky he was; who would be proud of my achievements. Who'd tell me I look gorgeous when I'm all done up and ready to go out.

我想象中的婆婆是《欲望都市》中与小说家沃恩·维塞约会时的凯莉·布拉德肖的形象。他们彼此喜欢。这也是我想要的：一位只有儿子的女性，愿意把我当作亲生女儿而非媳妇的女性。愿意保护我、爱我，会因为儿子和我在一起而兴奋不已的女性。她会为儿子感到幸运，为我的成就感到自豪，当我收拾妥当准备外出时，她会毫不保留的夸赞。

Instead, I got my mother-in-law. A traditional woman born in a small village in 1950s Spain, who grew up in a time of poverty and persecution, has a tendency toward negativity, who doesn't put up Christmas decorations. She once asked me if I was going to get braces as we sat down to lunch, and another day, she gave me advice on shaving in the shower.

事与愿违，我的婆婆是一位传统女性，她于20世纪50年代出生在西班牙的一个小村庄。她在贫困和迫害的环境中长大，对事情持消极态度，也不会在圣诞来临之际，给家中装饰。有一次，她在午餐桌上问我要不要矫正牙齿；还有一次，她建议我在洗澡时刮毛。I am a Londoner who looks for a celebration in every small accomplishment and loves to travel, eat out, and glug wine. For a long time, I couldn't get past our differences. Nor could I forgive her for not openly adoring and loving me, and for clearly loving her son more. She thought he was the best ever, that I was the one who was so lucky to be with him.

我是个伦敦人，希望每一次小有成就时都能庆祝；我爱旅行、爱出去吃、爱喝酒。很长一段时间，我们无法达成一致，我也无法原谅她没有公开对我表达爱意，因为很显然，她更爱她的儿子。她认为她的儿子是最棒的，认为能和他在一起是我的幸运。

When we first met, we had little in common apart from her son. But years, a marriage and a daughter later, we share two of the people we love most dearly in the world. We share moments and make memories together.

第一次和婆婆见面时，我们鲜有共同点，除了都喜欢她儿子。但结婚多年有了女儿后，我们有了两个在世间最深爱的人。我们会分享在一起的时光、共同制造回忆。

It's taken becoming a mother for me to understand why she adores her sons more than she could ever dote on a daughter-in-law. As a stay-at-home mother, they are the fruits of her life's work. They are the products of her hours - years - of hard work, dedication, and love. And of course, they are hers her darlings.

当了妈妈后，我开始理解为什么她那么爱她的儿子，但对我却没有那么喜欢。她是一名全职母亲，孩子就是她的全部。孩子是她多年来辛苦培养、奉献和爱的结果。他们当然是她的挚爱。