丈夫失业以来,我的世界分崩离析

Dear Coleen,

亲爱的科琳，

I probably feel the lowest I ever felt have in my life. My husband lost his job recently, which means we're facing a very uncertain New Year with two children and a big mortgage.

我感觉现在的我处于人生最低谷。近来，我丈夫失业了，这也意味着我们的新年注定不安稳，毕竟我们还有2个孩子要养、有贷款要还。

I only work part-time as our kids are still young, and my earnings aren't enough to cover all our expenses. I just want to shut myself away at the moment, whereas my husband's way of dealing with it is to carry on as if nothing has happened.

因为孩子还小，所以我找了份兼职工作，收入不足以支付全家消费。现在，我只想把自己关起来，而丈夫对待这件事的态度却是：若无其事的照往常一般生活。

He seems determined to see our friends over New Year and go to parties, and I just can't face it. We haven't told anyone that he's lost his job yet (with the exception of our parents) and I don't want people to know for the time being, which is causing a lot of tension between us.

他已决定好要在新年和朋友一起参加聚会，但我做不到啊！关于他失业一事，我们尚未告诉任何人（除了双方父母）。我暂时不想让其他人知道这件事，这也使我们的关系变得紧张。

We have a really lovely home and a nice lifestyle that we've worked hard for and I can't bear the thought of losing everything we've built up. The problem is, we're not really talking about it and we're just coping alone in very different ways.

我们的家庭温馨，生活方式健康，这都是我们努力奋斗的结果。一想到可能会失去这一切，我就无法忍受。但问题是：我们并没有好好谈过这件事，只是以自己的方式独自应对。

Coleen says

科琳说

I think the worst thing you can do is not talk about it and shove it under the carpet because it's not going to just go away. It must be very hard for your husband and he's clearly trying to put a brave face on things and be positive, and I think it's good that he still wants to be with people instead of retreating into himself.

我认为对这件事避而不谈是最糟糕的做法，因为问题不会自行得到解决。你的丈夫肯定很难过，但显然，他正努力勇敢地面对这件事并积极应对，我认为他在这种时候仍愿意与人交往而非自我封闭是一件好事。

Sadly, you're not alone in this - it happens to a lot of people, especially in the current economic climate. I'm wondering why you don't want people to know? To me, it feels as if you're embarrassed and worried about being judged by your friends, and you shouldn't feel like that. You don't have to impress real friends - they go through it with you and they will be supportive.

不幸的是，你并非一个人--很多人都会遇到这种情况，尤其是在当前的经济环境之下。我很好奇，你为什么不想让其他人知道？给我的感觉是，你觉得失业很丢脸，担心朋友因此说三道四，你不应这么想。你无需事事都给真朋友留下好印象--他们会支持你，陪你度过这一难关。

So talk to your husband and make some interim plans for the immediate future. Yes, it's a very stressful situation, but it doesn't mean your husband won't get another job in the New Year.

所以，和丈夫好好谈一谈，并做出短期计划。是的，这段时间你们的压力很大，但这并不意味着你的丈夫在新年里不会找到一份新工作啊。