喜欢一个人却不敢接近，这是为什么？

如果这个现象说的就是你，那么你的这种依恋类型（attachment style）在心理学上被称为害怕逃避型（fearful avoidant）

Individuals with a fearful avoidant attachment style desire close relationships, but feel uncomfortable relying on others and fear being let down. Fearful avoidant is one of four key styles of attachment proposed by psychologist John Bowlby, who developed attachment theory.

害怕逃避型依恋的人渴望亲密的关系，但又会因为依赖别人而感到不舒服，并且害怕希望落空。害怕逃避型是心理学家约翰·鲍比提出的4种主要依恋类型之一。约翰·鲍比正是建立了依恋理论的那个人。

根据依恋理论，每个人婴儿时期和父母的关系，让他们在成长过程中会对别人产生不同的默认期待，总共有4种：

第一种：安全型依恋

Secure

Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable trusting others. They see themselves as worthy of love and support and are confident that others will support them if they need help.

安全型依恋的人可以很自然地信任别人。他们觉得自己是值得爱、值得帮助的人，并且他们相信在自己需要帮助的时候会有人来支持自己。

第二种：焦虑型依恋

Anxious

Anxiously attached individuals want to rely on others, but worry that others won't support them in the way that they want. Anxiously attached individuals typically have positive evaluations of other people but tend to doubt their self-worth, which causes them to seek out the support of others but also worry about whether their feelings for others will be reciprocated.

焦虑型依恋的人想要依靠别人，但是担心别人并不会像他们想象的一样支持他们。这一型的人通常都会对别人做出正面的评估，但是却会怀疑自身的价值，这让他们一方面会去寻求别人的帮助，但另一方面又再担心别人对他们的感受是否和他们对别人的感受一样。

第三种：逃避型依恋

Avoidant

Avoidant individuals tend to limit the closeness of their relationships and feel uncomfortable relying on other people. Avoidant individuals typically have positive views of themselves but believe that other people can't be counted on. Consequently, avoidant individuals tend to remain independent and often try to avoid any form of dependence.

逃避型依恋的人通常会克制自己的亲密关系，并且在依赖别人的时候会感到不舒服。逃避型依恋的人通常对自己都持正面观点，但是觉得别人靠不住。其结果就是，逃避型依恋的人都倾向于保持独立，并且会避免任何形式的依赖。

第四种：害怕逃避型

Fearful Avoidant

Individuals with a fearful avoidant attachment style have characteristics of both anxious and avoidant individuals. They tend to have negative views of both themselves and others, feel unworthy of support, and anticipate that others will not support them. As a result, they feel uncomfortable relying on others despite a desire for close relationships.

害怕逃避型依恋的人兼具焦虑型和逃避型的特点。他们对自身和别人都倾向于做出负面的评价，他们觉得自己不值得被帮助，也觉得其他人的确不会帮助自己。所以，虽然他们希望得到亲密的关系，但却在依赖别人的时候感到不舒服。