你愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸？牛津这道入学试题该怎么答？

想要入读全球顶尖学府，你不光要有漂亮的成绩单，还要有广博的知识面和离奇的脑洞，比如，你得想好自己是愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸？如何测量自己的脑袋有多重？看完这些奇葩面试题，整个人都不好了……

Oxford University, one of the world's oldest and most sophisticated institutions of higher learning, has asked this question this year: Would you like to be a vampire or a zombie? The question was a surprise to many Britons, and the Times called it the most frightening test in the world, and the Guardian called it the most difficult.

世界最古老最顶尖的高等学府之一英国牛津大学今年出了一道这样的考题：“你愿意当吸血鬼还是僵尸？”此题让很多英国人大跌眼镜，《泰晤士报》称之为“世上最让人惊恐的考试”，《卫报》说这是“最难”的考题。

Vampires and zombies are two strange creatures from Western folklore that have become the protagonists of fiction, movies and video games in recent years, and are increasingly known in popular culture around the world. The problem at All Souls College of the University of Oxford is also an old one. The performance of old traditional universities in keeping pace with the times.

吸血鬼和僵尸是西方民间传说中的两种异怪生物，近年来经常成为小说、电影、电子游戏中的主角，在流行文化中日渐为全世界各地的人们所知，本次牛津大学万灵学院的难题也来自这个古老传说，不失为历史悠久的传统大学与时俱进的表现。

那么究竟是当吸血鬼好，还是做僵尸更强呢？两者之间究竟该怎么选？我们来看看英国各界的评论：

Martin Bellam, the Guardian's senior cultural correspondent, joked about the benefits of vampires: Have you ever seen an ugly vampire? It's not clear whether fashionistas are the only ones who become vampires or whether being a vampire makes you fashionable, but vampires look cool anyway. One of the drawbacks of being a vampire, he says, is that being immortal sounds fun, but it's not fun until you watch all your loved ones grow old and die in front of you. Of course, unless you make them all vampires, they can be with you forever and ever, and that puts a lot of pressure on you to choose who you want to establish such a permanent relationship with.

《卫报》文化事务高级记者马丁·贝拉姆调侃吸血鬼的优势：“你见过样貌丑陋的吸血鬼吗？不清楚到底是只有时尚人士才变成吸血鬼呢还是当了吸血鬼就让你很时尚，但总而言之，吸血鬼看着都很酷。”他还表示，吸血鬼当然也有不好之处，其中之一便是长生不老。听着很好玩，但你要看着所有心爱的人都在你面前变老死去，你会发现这一点都不好玩。当然啦，除非你让他们都变成吸血鬼，可以永永远远地陪着你。不过，这就意味着你要决定谁可以永久陪伴你，这个压力有点大。

As for zombies, Bellam wrote: Vampires are solitary, but zombies are packed, so it's a better choice, and Zombies feed on their brains, which are completely delicious and healthy, an important Omega 3 fatty acid full of DHA. Of course, when zombies have the disadvantage of never being sexy and always emit a rotten, rotten meat smell, it's usually considered disgusting.

至于僵尸，贝拉姆是这样写的：吸血鬼都是独来独往，但僵尸却是成群结队，因此这是一个更好的选择，另外，僵尸以脑髓为食，这是“完全美味，而且很健康，是富含DHA的Omega3脂肪酸。”当然，当僵尸的坏处除了永远无法有性感的样子，还有身上总是散发出一种腐朽的烂肉味，让人恶心。

其实，今年牛津大学万灵学院的考题不止这一个，其他题要答得好也不容易。你们感受一下：

Does Google know us better than ourselves?

“谷歌比我们更了解自己吗？”

No one can play Shakespeare?

“莎士比亚无人企及，便没人能演吗？”

Should sugar be taxed?

“糖是不是该征税？”

There are also more traditional questions such as "Does music stop suddenly at Brahms" and the annual ethical question "Is all life valuable"?

此外还有一些比较传统的问题如“勃拉姆斯之后再无音乐吗？”以及年年都有的伦理问题“所有的生命都有价值吗？”

The College of All Souls itself is remarkable. Unlike other colleges, the College of All Souls does not admit undergraduates. People who pass the exam automatically become academicians of the College, and the exam is unusually well-known. It's called the most difficult test.

万灵学院本身就非常不同凡响，与其他学院不同，这所学院并不招收本科生，通过考试的人自动成为学院的院士，而这一考试之不同寻常素来有名，被称为最难的考试。

But in fact, good grades are not enough, even if you want to get into Oxford and Cambridge. Both universities have an interview, and often ask weird questions that don't have the right answers to test students' intellectual and ideological sensitivity. Many exceptionally good students often fail.

但实际上，想成功考入牛津和剑桥大学，光有好成绩也是不够的。这两所大学都有面试一关，经常问一些没有正确答案的“稀奇古怪”的问题考验学生的知识面和思想灵敏度，很多成绩异常优秀的学生往往过不了这一关。

再来看看牛津大学和剑桥大学以往的一些面试题，检验一下自己的脑回路吧。

Does the incubator think? Are snail conscious? (Oxford Experimental Psychology)

保温箱会思考吗？蜗牛有意识吗？（牛津-实验心理学）

This is a bark. Please say something about it. (Oxford - Bioscience)

这是一块树皮，请就它说点什么。（牛津-生物科学）

If God is omnipotent, can he create a stone that he can not lift? (Oxford - Ancient Greek and ancient Rome)

如果神无所不能，他是否能够创造出一块他举不动的石头？（牛津-古希腊古罗马学）

Do you want to be a novel or a poem? (Oxford - English)

你更想成为一部小说还是一首诗？（牛津-英文）

How do you measure the weight of your head? (Cambridge - Medical)

你如何测量自己头部的重量？（剑桥-医学）

Is the husband's habit of smearing lemonade on his eggs at breakfast enough to justify divorce if his wife has repeatedly expressed her disgust? (Cambridge - Law)

丈夫吃早餐时有在鸡蛋上涂柠檬酱的习惯，如果妻子已经多次对此表示厌恶，这个习惯是否足以成为离婚的理由？（剑桥-法学）

Is the chair in front of you really there? (Cambridge - Philosophy)

眼前的椅子真的在那里吗？