谈恋爱怎样才能不嫉妒

You know jealousy only hurts you and your partner - but you're only human, right? Here, experts share their tips for beating the green-eyed monster and strengthening your relationship.

你知道的，嫉妒只会对你和另一半造成伤害--但你也只是人（是人就会嫉妒），对不？在此，专家分享了他们克服嫉妒，增强恋情的小妙招。

Treat Yo' Self

对自己好

"When you're in a good place yourself - thriving in the workplace, living a harmonious home life, good health, experiencing solid spirituality - your heart naturally expands, allowing you to let go of bitterness and jealousy. Living your best life helps you stay open and understanding to the ups and downs of the human condition. This compassion for yourself and others makes you less competitive. Accept yourself the way you are and do things for yourself that make you genuinely happy and fulfilled." -Anjhula Mya Singh Bais, Ph.D., International Psychology

"当你自身状态很好时--事业风生水起、家庭生活和谐、身体健康、精神纯净--那么你的心胸自然宽广，让你忘掉痛苦和嫉妒。过着最好的生活能让你保持开朗，理解自身状况的起起伏伏。对自己和他人的这种同情会降低你的竞争力。接受本真的自己，为自己做事，这样你才会真正的感到开心、充实。"--国际心理学博士Anjhula Mya Singh Bais

Acknowledge and affirm your partner's feelings

察觉并确认另一半的感觉

"To nip jealousy in the bud, first you have to take ownership of your feelings and understand how your behavior impacts your partner. For example, if your partner does not feel good when you stay out late with a co-worker, this doesn't mean that you acquiesce to everything your partner wants. However, it goes a long way when you say to your partner, 'I know that you feel upset with the amount of time and attention that I am giving to this other person. I don't want you to feel that way.' With that statement, you acknowledged how your partner was feeling and you told them that you don't want them to be hurt by your behavior." -Chantel Cohen, owner of CWC Coaching and Therapy in Atlanta, GA

"想要将嫉妒掐灭在萌芽之中，那你首先得了解自己的感情、明白自己的行为会如何影响另一半。比如，如果你和同事在外呆到很晚让另一半很不爽，这并不意味着你默认了另一半想要的一切。然而，你可能要过很久才会对另一半这样说，'我知道你不开心，不开心我和另一个人共处那么久、不开心我对他的关注。我不想你这样。'说完这句话后，你承认了另一半的感情，而且还告诉他你不想因为自己的行为而让他受伤。"--乔治亚州亚特兰大CWC Coaching and Therapy的老板钱特尔·科恩

Keep a gratitude journal

记录让你感恩的事

"Jealousy stems from an inherent belief of lack and scarcity, and a feeling of fear and threat. When we make it a point to remember all the things we have to be grateful for, we challenge that assumption of scarcity. By being grateful we realize that no matter what we have experienced in life thus far, on a fundamental level, we have always been ok and will continue to be so. When we change and reframe the script to one of gratitude for the things we have, and the idea that there is plentitude for all, jealously wanes." -Bais

"嫉妒来源于缺少和稀有的固有观念，以及担心感和威胁感。当我们记录下所有值得我们感恩的事情，我们就挑战了稀有的假设。懂得感恩，我们就会意识到生活中无论我们至今经历了什么，基本而言，我们总是过得很好，而且还会继续如此。当我们改变、重写剧本，记录我们应该感恩的事情，那么所有的嫉妒都会慢慢消散。"--拜斯