出轨到底有多普遍?

Cheating and infidelity hardly fall into the definition of a healthy monogamous relationship, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen (or that it's not something people worry about). Jesse James, also known as Sandra Bullock's ex-husband, tried to explain why he cheated, saying, "In general, both women and men cheat ... It's part of life." Whether this is statistical commentary or an excuse for his actions, it does bring up an interesting question: How common is cheating?

出轨和不忠不属于健康的一夫一妻制关系，但并不意味着这种事情不会发生（也并不意味着人们不担心这种事情）。杰西·詹姆斯，也是桑德拉·布洛克的前夫，他试图解释自己出轨的原因，他说，"一般而言，女性和男性都会出轨……这是生活的一部分啊。"不管是统计出的评论还是他为自己找的出轨借口，这都带来了一个非常有趣的问题：出轨到底有多普遍呢？

Cheating might feel like it's everywhere, but experts have a hard time pinpointing exactly how many people cheat, because (duh) nobody wants to be honest and own up to the fact that they do it. "The general belief is that if a person is lying to their partner, why wouldn't they also lie to a researcher?" says Anita Chlipala, a dating and relationships expert. One expert we spoke to estimated that 25 per cent of men and 14 per cent of women cheat in a lifetime; another said they thought it was between 20 to 60 per cent of couples in a lifetime. So infidelity could happen to a small sliver or the majority of people - it's hard to say at this point. Not to mention, most studies are done on heterosexual couples, so there's a big subset of the population that's not even being included in those estimates.

也许你会觉得出轨无处不在，但专家们却很难确切说出有多少人出轨，因为没有人会真诚坦白自己出轨这件事。"一般人会有这样的看法：如果一个人对其另一半说谎，那他有什么理由对研究员也说谎呢？"约会情感专家Anita Chlipala说道。我们会谈过的一位专家估计：人的一生中，25%的男性和14%的女性会出轨；另一位专家说，他们认为人的一生中，夫妻出轨率在20%至60%之间。所以不忠的人可能很少，也有可能很多--现在很难说清。更不用说，这些研究大部分都是有关异性恋夫妇的，所以一大部分人口甚至都没被考虑在这些估计之内。

Cheating also encompasses a spectrum of behaviors, and every couple has different definitions for what cheating really entails. (And for the record, open relationships, or sex outside of an otherwise monogamous relationship with the consent of both partners, is not cheating - by definition, cheating involves lying.) Chlipala suspects that the number of people who cheat might actually be growing because of these flimsy definitions. "One of the prime reasons why people cheat is because of opportunity and circumstance," she says. "Now, people have access to dating apps, or they can reconnect with an old flame on Facebook - and some people are surprised that emotional cheating is actually a thing." Many cheating scenarios start innocently and spiral, she adds. One survey found that 76 per cent of women thought it was cheating to send flirty texts, compared to 59 per cent of men.

出轨还包括一系列行为，每位CP对出轨的定义都有不同理解（为准确起见，公开的恋情、或是一夫一妻制关系中，在夫妻双方都同意的情况下，和别人发生性关系都不属于出轨--因为出轨的定义涉及欺骗。）Chlipala认为由于出轨的定义模糊不清，因此出轨的人数实际上可能会增长。"人们出轨的主要原因之一就是有机会、有特定的环境，"她说道。"现在，人们有各种约会软件，他们还可以通过脸书和前任勾搭--令某些人大吃一惊的是：情感出轨真实存在。"很多人的出轨都是毫无意识的开始、之后渐渐升华，她补充道。一项研究发现：76%的女性认为发调情短信就属于出轨，而只有59%的男性持同样观点。