同事获得了你希望的职位，你该怎么做？

You're a smart person, and you can probably pick up on signs that you're about to be promoted. Maybe the company's expanding rapidly, or maybe your boss has invited you to a one-on-one lunch.

你很聪明，所以你可能会发现一些准备被擢升的迹象。可能是公司正快速的扩展，或者你的老板邀请你共进一对一的午餐。

But alas, you're not a psychic. Sometimes when you think you're about to be promoted — like, you've practically uncorked the champagne — you'll be wrong. And your coworker will get the position instead.

不过呀，你又不是巫师，不能通灵。有时候当你以为自己要被擢升了——比如，你准备开香槟酒庆祝了——那么你就会出糗了。实际上是你的同事升职了。

You likely know what not to do in this situation: storm into your coworker's cubicle, or your boss' office, and demand that they rethink the decision.

你或许知道在这种情况不应该这么做：怒气冲冲地跑到同事的隔间，或者老板的办公室，然后要求他们重新考虑这件事情。

Figuring out what is appropriate in this situation is somewhat harder. According to Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, an etiquette and civility expert and the author of "Don't Burp in the Boardroom," the general rule is to "be very mature."

在这种情况下寻思最合适的举措在某种程度上来说更有难度。根据礼仪专家，兼《不要在会议室打嗝》的作者，Rosalinda Oropeza Randall的建议，一般应对的方法就是“成熟应对”。

That doesn't mean you can't have feelings. "Go take a walk. Have your little pity party for 10 minutes," Randall said.

但这不意味着你不能有个人情绪。“出去散散步，度过10分钟的的小小遗憾派对，”Randall说道。

But then you'll want to make an appointment to see your manager (or whoever made the decision). They'll be able to help clarify why they chose your coworker for the promotion, Randall said.

Randall还表示，不过之后你会想要跟经理（或者作出这个决定的管理者）见面。他们能够他们选择了给你的同事升职的原因。

"You don't know your coworker's background," she added. Maybe they've been taking night courses, and that tipped the scale.

“你不了解你同事的背景，”她补充道。也许他们一直在参与夜间课程，那么就起到了决定性作用。

Or, alternatively, your manager may say they've had their eye on you for another position that's a better fit.

或者，有另外一种情况，你的经理可能会告诉你他们早已为你留意了另外一个更适合你的职位了。

"Before you make a scene and really ruin your professional reputation," Randall said, "find out first."

Randall说道：“在你想要大吵大闹并真的毁了职业名声之前，先找出原因吧。”

Finally, you'll want to congratulate your coworker, or at least acknowledge their big win.

最终，你会想为你的同事表示祝贺，或者至少认可他们的成功。

It's okay to use some humor, Randall said — for example, "You really gave me a run for my money!"

幽默点也没有问题，Randall说道，比如“你真的让我花九牛二虎之力才赶得上啊！”

Remember: Especially if they knew you were banking on this promotion, they might feel awkward, too.

请谨记：特别是如果他们知道你曾经也很渴望这次的擢升，他们也可能会感到尴尬。

Ultimately, it helps to keep your overall career in mind. Randall said this situation can be an opportunity to show how you handle defeat and disappointment — meaning if you approach it with grace, your manager might very well consider you for another promotion down the line.

最终，这件事情会帮助你把整体职业生涯放在心上。Randall表示这种情况可以作为一个显示你处理失败与失望的方式的机会——意味着如果你优雅地处理它，你的经理就可能考虑在接下来的日子给你升职。