As new parents, all of us face a huge learning curve. While Andrea was facing the intense pain of laboring with their first daughter, her partner made the crucial mistake of complaining that his back hurt. "It's kind of a miracle we made a second baby together," she says. "He also had to take a break from massaging my lower back during labor because his wee hands hurt," she adds.
作为新生儿的父母,我们都面临着巨大的学习任务。安德拉第一次生孩子,生了个女儿,正忍受着分娩的剧烈疼痛,而他的丈夫却在这时犯了致命的错误:抱怨自己的后背痛。“我们还生了二胎,真是个奇迹,”她说道。“在我分娩的时候,他也得以休息不用帮我按摩腰部,因为他当时手受伤了,”她补充道。
The only time someone should complain about pain during a partner's labor is … nope. Never. Don't mind me, just having major surgery to remove a human being from my body this morning, but by all means, let's prioritize your McMuffin. We all need to eat, and sometimes labor can be long. However, these dads could use a lesson on discretion in the food department.
妻子在分娩的时候,丈夫唯一能够抱怨的时候就是……根本就不该抱怨。永远都不该。今早我就要动一项大手术剖腹产生孩子,但别管我了,无论如何最重要的是你的麦当劳麦满分早餐。我们都需要吃东西,的确有时候分娩过程会有点长。然而,这些(不懂事的)父亲可以在食品部门学一门叫做审时度势的课程。
Stephanie Giese's husband swung through the McDonald's drive-thru on the way to the hospital for her C-section. "I wasn't in labor, but I also wasn't allowed to eat, and I kind of wanted to hurt him," says Stephanie. "Don't mind me, just having major surgery to remove a human being from my body this morning, but by all means, let's prioritize your McMuffin."
史蒂芬妮·吉斯的丈夫就在他去陪伴妻子去医院剖腹产的时候去麦当劳汽车通道买了食物。“我当时还没生孩子,但我也不能吃东西,所以我有点想伤害他,”史蒂芬妮说道。“今早我就要动一项大手术剖腹产生孩子,但别管我了,无论如何最重要的是你的麦当劳麦满分早餐。”
Samara's former partner decided to squeeze in some "me-time" in the hours before his son was born. "My ex ate a hamburger and watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show while I was in labor," says Samara. As if that wasn't annoying enough, he wasn't the only one with his eyes on the screen. "The goddamn DOCTOR kept peeking at the TV," she says.
萨马拉的前夫在他儿子快要出生的几个小时前,决定挤出“私人时光”。“在我生孩子的时候,我的前夫吃了个汉堡,还看了一场维密秀,”萨马拉说道。好像这还不够恼人一样,当时盯着大屏看维密秀的还不止他一个人。“这个天杀的医生时不时地就会瞄一眼电视,”她说道。
Meanwhile, Lynn Morrison's husband was tugged by a more responsible dedication to his oral hygiene. "He went to brush his teeth right when the doctor said I could start pushing," she says. "He wanted me to 'Just hold on for a few minutes,' so he could get rid of his morning breath. He nearly missed the birth," Lynn says. Thank goodness he didn't feel the need to floss, too.
而琳恩·莫里森的丈夫更有“责任感”,居然在关注自己的口腔卫生问题。“就在医生告诉我可以使劲生宝宝的时候,他居然跑去刷牙了,”她说道。“他叫我‘只要等几分钟就好’,这样他就可以去刷牙了。他差点错过孩子的出生时刻,”琳恩说道。谢天谢地,还好他没想到用牙线。
Some partners are total troopers through the labor, but fail to maintain that finesse back at home, forgetting that life with a newborn isn't life as usual.
有些丈夫在分娩的时候就像总警一样忙前忙后,但回家后却没能保持这股劲儿,因为他们忘记了有新生儿的生活是和平常生活不一样的。
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