2017届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（十七）

　　2017届高考英语考前冲刺精品复习讲义（北师大版）：写作（十七）

　　我花了许多时间准备高考(college entrance examinations)。考试结果要一个月后才知道。但是不管能否考上大学，我都要继续努力学习，为建设祖国作贡献。学生习作·外教批改

　　I have spent much a lot of time preparing for this1 the college entrance examinations.Actually2 I have truly tried my best.

　　The result of the examinations will be shown3 released in a

　　month.I_will_send_myself_to_the_motherland_no _matter_exam_or_not.4 No matter

　　how badly I do in the exams，I will contribute to the motherland. I won’t stop studying.Every student should know that although one you

　　maybe5 may fail the

　　exam，but6 he you can also7 still be useful for to the country.We must have a great clear goal.Then we will have a_great

　　power8 the drive to work and studying.9

　　Now，our country is developing more_and_more_faster10 rapidly and so we need more and more people who have a11 good education.I believe it is a good chance for me to show12 prove my ability.

　　旁　批

　　1．this使用错误，examinations是复数形式，this是单数形式。此外，你这里指的是一个专门的考试，因此要用the。

　　2．actually这个词通常用来更正错误的信息，这里情况并非如此，因此应该用truly来强调他如何努力学习。

　　3．公布考试结果应该用release而不是show。

　　4．意思不清楚，参见改写后的句子。

　　5．用词错误。应该是may而不是maybe。

　　6．同一句中用了although就不需要用but了。

　　7．用词错误，also是用来给出更多的信息，用still暗示尽管你考试没考好，但对国家仍然是有用之才。

　　8．原句表达不正确，参见修改后的句子。

　　9．study接在不定式符号to后面，所以不能加-ing。

　　10．使用一个意义较强烈的单词比使用more and more...要好得多。

　　11．在本句中education是可数名词，在单数可数名词前面应该加上a。

　　12．用prove更好。

　　这是一篇尚可的作文。

　　很明显，作者理解了题目要求。但遗憾的是，文中出现了很多语法和结构错误。尽管这些错误并不完全影响读者对作文的理解，但大部分错误是这个水平的作文不该出现的。

　　论点表达也不够流畅。作者在第二段说考试结果不重要，而后又得出结论说国家需要更多受过良好教育的人。这两个观点都说得通，但表述时不能自相矛盾。

　　文章词数也不符合题目要求。至少应该写120个单词。高分作文秘诀之十：避免重复使用同一单词或短语。例如：

　　Instead of (不要说：)There are many people who speak English，so after learning English，you can communicate with them easily.

　　Use (要说：)There are many people who speak English，so after learning the language，you can communicate with them easily.

　　Instead of (不要说：)I like reading while my brother likes watching television.

　　Use (要说：)I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television.

　　Instead of (不要说：)In my hometown a new railway is being built and a power station is

　　going to be built next year.

　　Use (要说：)In my hometown a new railway is under construction and a power station is going to be built next year.

　　Instead of (不要说：)TV has a great influence on children and it also has a great influence on adults.

　　Use (要说：)TV has a great influence on children as well as on adults.假设你是李晓平，是“江苏中学”的学生。请你围绕“建设和谐社会”的主题，根据下面所给出的要点提示，用英语给全省中学生写一封倡议书。

　　要点提示：1.人与社会：祖国、家乡、学校，热爱关心……

　　2．人与人：家人、师长、同学，诚信互助

　　3．人与自然：能源、环境、动植物，爱惜保护

　　4．你的态度(内容由考生自己拟定)

　　注意：

　　1．词数：100左右。倡议书的开头、结尾以及提示句已为你写好，不计入词数。

　　2．内容可适当发挥，注意行文连贯。

　　A letter to High School Students in Jiangsu

　　Dear fellow students，

　　Our government is aiming to build a “harmonious society”. I think it is every citizen’s

　　duty to work hard to achieve this goal.

　　As high school students, what should we do?

　　...

　　As for myself，...

　　Dear fellow students, let’s start right now and spare no effort to do a little bit every day, every hour, and every minute!

　　Li Xiaoping

　　From Jiangsu High School

　　参考范文：

　　A letter to High School Students in Jiangsu

　　Dear_fellow_students，

　　Our_government_is_aiming_to_build_a_“harmonious_society”．_I_think_it_is_every_citizen’s_duty_to_work_hard_to_achieve_this_goal.

　　As_high_school_students,_what_should_we_do?

　　First of all, we should love our motherland. Let’s take a great interest in the

　　development of our hometown and take an active part in our school and class activities.

　　Secondly, let’s fill the world with love. We should show our respect for old people, our

　　parents and our teachers. We should also care for each other and help those in need.

　　Most important of all, all of us must be faithful and honest in our daily life.

　　Finally, let’s work together to save energy and protect our natural environment,

　　including animals, trees, flowers and grass.

　　As_for_myself,_I will study even harder and try my best to do all the above.

　　Dear_fellow_students,_let’s_start_right_now_and_spare_no_effort_to_do_a_little_bit_e very_day,_every_hour,_and_every_minute!

　　Li_Xiaoping

　　From_Jiangsu_High_School