Your kids are better off
你的孩子会越来越好
If you're wondering if you've damaged your kids for good by getting divorced, you may have nothing to worry about. While many children do experience negative effects at first, including anxiety, anger and shock, most kids bounce back. In the long-term, kids of divorced parents tend to do as well as kids of married parents. In fact, if you were in a high-discord marriage, children tend to experience divorce as a welcome relief. Another study by Jonathan Gruber, an MIT economist, also found that kids of parents who decided to stay together instead of divorce were worse off 40 years later when it came to their educational attainment, earnings and fate of their own marriages.
如果你在思考离婚会不会对孩子造成永久性伤害,那就大可放心好了。虽然一开始,一些小孩的确会遭受负面影响,包括:焦虑、愤怒、惊恐,但大多数的孩子都会恢复原状。从长远看来,父母离婚的孩子往往会和父母没有离婚的孩子一样表现出色。事实上,如果婚姻极度不和,那么你们的离婚往往对孩子们来说是种解脱。麻省理工学院经济学家乔纳森•格鲁伯开展的另一项研究发现:如果孩子的父母决定不离婚了、决定继续走下去,那么40年后,这些孩子在教育程度、收入以及他们自己的婚姻命运方面都会更糟糕。
You're a better role model
你会成为更好的榜样
Leaving an unhealthy environment, especially if abuse or cheating was involved, shows kids they should draw the line somewhere. It takes strength to model healthy self-care by not settling for a toxic relationship. You and your kids deserve healthy relationships.
离开一个不健康的环境,尤其是离开虐待或出轨的环境,能让你的孩子知道他们也应该有自己的底线。不将就有害的恋爱关系并且积极争取自我是需要很大勇气的。你和你的孩子都值得拥有健康的关系。
You're in control
你能掌控一切
You make the decisions about your home, your kids and your finances without having to consult another person and with zero arguments. Do what you want, when you want and how you want. It feels good!
不需要询问另一个人的意见、不需要一点争吵,你就可以对家里的布置、孩子和财务做出决定。什么时候想做什么、怎么做,都由你说了算。感觉爽歪歪!
You have more time to find yourself
你拥有更多的时间寻找自我
Married women can feel they've lost themselves in marriage. Take those now free weekends when the kids are with your ex to rediscover what you want.
已婚女性能感受到她们在婚姻中迷失了自我。当孩子去前夫那边时,好好利用这些周末重新找回自己想要的东西吧。
A mom's identity doesn't have to be tied to a spouse or to her kids. It takes a lot of work and patience to grow, but why not use this huge life change as a catalyst to do what you want to do instead of just what you have to do?
母亲的身份不需要与配偶或孩子紧密相连。需要付出很多努力和耐心才能成长,为什么不将离婚这一重大的生活改变视作一种催化剂呢,不要再做那些必须要做的事情了,做一些自己真正想做的事情吧。
You'll be healthier
你会更健康
The quality of marriage matters, and if your marriage was full of conflict and criticism, your health could suffer. Researchers found that difficult marriages can increase risk of heart disease (a literal broken heart!). Other health effects of a stressful marriage include cancer, arthritis, diabetes and depression. So here's to getting out of a bad situation and taking care of you!
婚姻的质量十分重要,如果你的婚姻充满了冲突和批判,那么你的健康也会受到不好影响。研究员们发现不幸福的婚姻会增加人们患心脏病(心真的碎了!)的风险。充满压力的婚姻还会对健康带来其它不利影响,包括:癌症、关节炎、糖尿病和抑郁。所以离婚不仅能让你脱离困境,还能让你的身体更健康!
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