结婚前每个人该明白的七件事

Contrary to what fairy tales may tell you, relationships take work.

和童话故事描绘的截然相反，感情是需要经营的。

So we collected some of the best social science findings about what makes them last.

我们收集了一些有关经营感情的最佳社科研究发现。

1. If you wait until you're 23 to commit, you're less likely to get divorced.

如果等到23岁再考虑结婚，离婚几率更小。

A 2014 University of Pennsylvania study found that Americans who cohabitate or get married at age 18 have a 60% divorce rate, whereas people who waited until the more mature age of 23 have a divorce rate of about 30%.

2014年宾夕法尼亚大学的一项研究发现，18岁就同居或结婚的美国人离婚率为60%，然而那些等到23岁更成熟的时候才选择结婚的离婚率约为30%。

2. The “in love” phase lasts about a year.

“热恋”阶段通常持续一年左右。

The honeymoon phase with its “high levels of passionate love” and “intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy, as well as an idealization of one's partner”, doesn't last forever, according to Monmouth University psychologist Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

蒙莫斯大学心理学家盖里•W•勒万多维斯基表示，充满“高度激情的爱”、“强烈的吸引力和狂喜的感觉，同时对配偶理想化”的蜜月期并不会永远持续下去。

3. Eventually you realize that you're not one person.

最终你会意识到你不是一个人。

Once you start living together, you realize that you have different priorities and tolerances-like, for instance, what does or doesn't constitute a mess.

一旦你们开始生活在一起，你会意识到，你们有不同的优先级和容忍度，比如说对于脏乱的定义会有所不同。

4. If you get excited for your partner's good news, you'll have a better relationship.

如果你为伴侣的好消息感到振奋，你会拥有更好的婚姻。

In multiple studies, couples that actively celebrated good news (rather than actively or passively dismissed it) have had a higher rate of relationship well-being.

多项研究发现，相对主动或被动地不予理会彼此好消息的夫妻而言，积极地庆祝好消息的夫妻婚姻幸福感更高。

5. The happiest marriages are between best friends.

最幸福的婚姻发生在最好的朋友之间。

A 2014 National Bureau of Economic research study concluded that friendship could help explain the causal relationship between marriage and life satisfaction.

美国国家经济研究局2014年的一项研究显示，友谊能够解释婚姻和生活满足感之间的因果关系。

6. The closer a couple is in age, the less likely they are to get divorced.

夫妻年龄越相近，离婚的可能性越小。

An Emory University study found that couples with a five-year age difference were 18% more likely to divorce, and ones with a 10-year difference were 39% more likely.

埃默里大学的一项研究发现，年龄相差5岁的夫妻离婚几率比一般的高出18%，年龄相差10岁的夫妻离婚率则要高出39%。

7. Resentment builds quickly in couples that don't tackle chores together.

没有共同承担家务的夫妻，心中怨恨积累迅速。

Over 60% of Americans say that taking care of chores plays a crucial role in having a successful marriage. You'll save a lot of collective time if each person specializes in the chores they're best at.

超过60%的美国人表示，在一段成功的婚姻中，照料家务起着关键性的作用。如果双方都专门负责各自拿手的家务，那么夫妻双方可以节省出大量的共同时间。

Vocabulary:

cohabitate: 同居

ecstasy:入迷