办公室友谊的潜规则，你还能和同事做朋友吗?

每天和一帮人在一起工作，你一定会交到一些朋友。如果处理得当的话，友谊会让工作更加愉快。如果你的工作并不尽如人意，它至少会让你多一份包容。但如果不小心也可能会有陷阱。

有的办公室友谊比这份工作本身更长久，有的则不是。不管怎样，办公室友谊都是任何职业道路上宝贵的一部分。如果你以职业的态度来对待，它还会促进你的职业发展。如果处理不当则可能给你造成巨大的损失。下面是你需要明白的：

1、小心过度分享

与他人分享时要小心。透露个人信息之前，先花些时间了解你的同事，即便是对那些你信任的人也要保持适当和专业的态度。对于什么是“可以分享的”什么不可以，要有清楚的界定。家庭近况、兴趣爱好、教育追求等等是可以透露的。而违法行为、私密细节和简历中的夸大成分就不必多说了。

2、别向同事抱怨

不管你有多了解你的“办公室朋友”，都不要跟他/她八卦或者抱怨你们的老板。这是决不能做的。这会让你的办公室朋友感到十分不安，如果你的话传到不该听到的人的耳朵里，后果可能很严重。抱怨的话还是对工作圈以外的朋友说吧。

3、保持个体性

小心别让你的办公室友谊掩盖了你个人的能力和独立性。你依然需要建立和维护你在工作上的个人声誉，尤其是在职业生涯的起步阶段，你需要从人群中脱颖而出。办公室联盟是工作文化的一部分，这没什么，只是别因此掩盖了你个人的贡献。

4、小心八卦

人们对他人的言行感兴趣是很自然也是很正常的。只要不是恶语相向，八卦也并非都那么糟糕。但是要小心。八卦可能会让人受到伤害，引起麻烦。而办公室的闹剧会给你惹来你不需要更不想要的敌人。如果你在办公室交谈中从不发表负面言论，你就不必为自己辩护或者安抚受到伤害的人。你要让成为一个尊重他人、能保守秘密的人，建立这样一种声誉很重要。不要变成办公室的“大舌头”。

5、不要厚此薄彼

试着和同事合作，并且去了解他们，这样他们就不会觉得受到排挤。在办公室有一个朋友是好事，但也不要厚此薄彼。你要清楚，你不能表现出倾向或者偏爱，也不应该帮别人掩盖错误或者不诚实的行为，虽然你也不期待他人以此作为回报。记住你是在工作。不要在办公室里讨论私人情况或担忧的事情，哪怕你们在工作之外有着很好的个人关系。这会让其他的同事感到不舒服，而且会模糊工作和生活的界线。

6、让友谊多样化

我们许多人把主要时间都花在了工作上，这是事实。我们和办公室朋友们共同的利益和困境把我们聚在一起，但有一个工作之外的朋友圈也非常重要。我们偶尔也需要关闭“工作头脑”，把自己从工作中解放出来，缓解一下压力。我们“工作之外”的朋友就可以帮我们做到这些。这还有助于帮我们培养各种朋友，扩大我们的朋友圈，让我们的生活丰富而有趣。

7、以职业态度处理破裂的办公室友谊

总有一些办公室友谊会因为某些原因无法长久，这是不可避免的。如果事情发生了，就需要以职业的态度去处理。永远要保持彬彬有礼。不论发生了什么，绝不要和其他的同事去抱怨你之前的朋友。如果是另一方小气、不够职业，就由他去吧。保持职业的态度，专注于你的工作，别给办公室好戏添油加料。这样你的压力会小很多，而且会证明你可以以职业态度处理矛盾。

建立办公室友谊在许多方面都是有益的。如果能以职业态度恰当对待，它会为你的工作经历增添许多乐趣。但是如果处理不当，它也会让办公室变成一个不舒服、充满压力的地方，而且会让你的职业规划偏离正轨，别让这样的事发生在你身上。

When you work with people day after day, you’re bound to make friends. If handled correctly friendships can make work so much more enjoyable, or at least tolerable if you’re in a less than desirable job, but there can also be some pitfalls if you’re not careful.

Some of these friendships in the office will outlive the job; others will not. In either case, office friendships are a valuable part of any professional network and can be a boost to your career if managed in a professional manner. If mishandled they can do a tremendous amount of damage. What you need to know:

1. Beware oversharing

Share with caution. Take the time to get to know your co-workers a bit before divulging personal information and stay appropriate and professional even with those you trust. Have clear boundaries about what is “shareable” and what is not. Think “TMI” (too much information.) Family updates, hobbies, interests, educational pursuits, etc. are all fair game. Illegal activities, intimate details, and “resume exaggerations,” not so much.

2. Nix the complaining

No matter how well you know your “office friend” don’t gossip or complain about your boss. That’s a big no-no. It puts your office friend in a very uncomfortable situation and could be potentially damaging if your words ever reached the ears of the wrong person. Save your venting for your partner other personal friends outside of work.

3. Maintain individuality

Be careful that your office friendships don’t obscure your individual accomplishments and separateness. You still need to build and protect your individual reputation on the job. Especially in the beginning of your career, you need to shine and stand out from the crowd. Office alliances are part of the work culture, that’s fine, just don’t let your own contributions become overshadowed.

4. Watch the gossip

It’s natural and normal for people to show an interest in what other people do and say. It’s not necessarily all bad providing it isn’t malicious, but be careful. Gossip can cause hurt feelings and stir up trouble and office drama create enemies that you don’t need or want. If you stay positive in your office conversations, you’ll never need to defend your words or repair hurt feelings. It’s important to build a reputation as a person who is respectful and who can keep information confidential, not as the “office gossip.”

5. Don’t play favorites

Try to collaborate with and get to know other co-workers, so that they don’t feel excluded. It’s nice to have a friend in the office, but don’t play favorites. Be very clear that you will not show preference or extend special favors, nor will you cover up mistakes or dishonest behavior and that you do not expect it in return. Remember that when you’re at work, you’re working. Don’t discuss personal situations or concerns at the office even if you have a personal relationship outside of the office. It makes other co-workers uncomfortable and blurs the office/home line.

6. Diversify friendships

Many of us spend the majority of time at work, it’s true. And the common interests and dilemmas we share with our office friends may draw us together, but having a circle of friends outside of work is important as well. We need to turn off our “work brain” and separate ourselves from work regularly to keep stress at bay. Our “non-work” friends can help us to do that. It also helps us to cultivate a variety of friends, broaden our circle of support and keep our lives full and interesting.

7. Navigate office “breakups” professionally

It’s inevitable that for whatever reason, some office friendships, like any other, won’t last. When it happens, and it will, it’s imperative to remain professional. Be polite and courteous ALWAYS. No matter what has transpired, do not gripe and complain about your ex-friend to other workers. If the other party is petty and unprofessional, let it go. Stay professional and focus on doing your job. Don’t feed office drama. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress as well as demonstrate that you can handle conflict professionally.

Building friendships at work can be very rewarding in many ways. If handled properly with a professional attitude, they can add a great deal of enjoyment to your work experience, but if handled poorly, they can make the office an uncomfortable, stress-filled place and derail your career in the process. Don’t let that happen to you.