恋爱宝典之初次约会时的11个小细节

It doesn’t matter where or how you got one, first dates are awesome. And terrifying.

不论你在哪儿及怎样约会，初次约会感觉很棒。还有些吓人。

Whether you’re meeting up with your hairdresser’s cousin’s single friend, or you’ve decided to choose an unusual date on HowAboutWe, there are more ‘first world problems’ in the world of dating now than ever. On your first date, they can be deal-breakers, so check out these 11 first date tips for modern love lives.

不管你是要去见你理发师的堂兄弟的单身朋友，还是你决定在约会交友网站HowAboutWe上选择一位不寻常的对象，如今约会是到的“重大” 问题比起以往要来得多。它们可能会成为初次约会的“不速之客”，因此看看这11条关于现代爱情生活的初次约会的建议吧。

1. Know when it’s a date (and when it isn’t)

分清什么时候是在约会(什么时候不是约会)

There are no hard rules any more when it comes to what counts as a date. You could go for nachos with several friends and still make that your first date if you both want to. Or you could meet one-on-one, have dinner, sleep together, and call it “friends with benefits”. That being so, your safest bet is to be clear by calling it a date when you agree where and when to meet up.

关于怎么界定什么是约会已经没有很严格的规则了。你可以约几个朋友一起去吃烤干酪辣味玉米片，如果你们俩都愿意的话，这同样可以当成你们的初次约会。你也可以一对一见面、吃饭、睡觉，称之为“炮友”。也就是说，最稳妥的做法是，你要清楚你们如何界定在哪里及在什么时候见面算约会。

2. Talk, don’t text

交谈，不要发短信

Asking someone on a date by text or IM might seem like a great way to dodge confidence issues, but it loses a lot of your message. Instead, make the arrangements the old-fashioned way by phone or in person so that you can hear each other’s voices. And if you’re invited on a date via SMS, text back, “Sounds good. Give me a call when you’re free to talk about it!”

通过短信或IM(即时通讯软件)约会似乎是一种规避信心不足的非常好的方法，但它会丢失了很多信息。用传统的方式安排约会，那就是打电话，或面对面说，这样你可以听到彼此的声音。如果别人发短信邀约你，你就回复：“听起来不错。如果你方便沟通的话，给我打个电话。”

3. Don’t do dinner

不要选择吃饭时间

Dinner takes a while and if you’re desperate to escape after the first drink, you’ll wish you’d arranged a shorter date! Go for a lunch date instead, or choose a non-food situation like a walk in the park. That way you can leave early if you want, or make it last all afternoon if you’re having fun.

吃晚餐很花时间，如果在喝完第一杯酒以后你非常想离开，你会希望你安排了一次简短的约会。可以选择吃顿午饭，或是不要选择吃饭的时段，比如在公园里散个步。这样的话，如果你想早点结束约会，就可以早点走啦;或是你觉得很有趣，可以让它持续一整个下午。

4. Agree a connectivity policy

协商一致

Do you hate it when people answer phone calls during a date? Or are you too busy tweeting to notice? Agree with your date from the start about what’s OK and what’s rude so that you won’t get annoyed with each other’s mobile interruptions.

约会时对方还在接电话，你是不是不喜欢?或是你自己忙着发微博?从一开始和约会对象商定哪些是允许的，哪些是不礼貌的举动，这样当对方手机响起打扰你们谈话时，你就用不着生气了。

5. Smell nice

清新的气味

Smell is one of the most complex human senses; it triggers emotions, memories, and physical feelings. If you smell nice to your date, they’ll find you more attractive; if you smell nice to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and attractive, too. Scents that most people (male or female) like include fruits, vanilla, and clean human skin.

嗅觉是人类最复杂的感官之一;它会激发情感、记忆、和身体的感受。如果气味不令人讨厌，你就更有吸引力;如果你自己觉得气味不错，你会更有自信和更有吸引力。大多数人(包括男性和女性)喜欢的气味包括水果味、香草味和清洁的体味。

6. Ask them to do you a favour

请他们帮你一个忙

It may sound backwards, but it’s true. Research shows that asking somebody to do you a personal favour tends to make them like you more, so ask for something small like their help to choose a gift for a friend. Then thank them plenty and show your gratitude by inviting them on a second date!

听起来可能会不理解，但这是真的。研究表明，请别人帮你一个忙通常会让他们更加喜欢你，所以请他们帮个小忙，比如说在为朋友选礼物上给个建议。然后深情地谢谢他们，再次邀约他们以表达你的谢意。

7. Pick up your own tab

为自己那一份买单

It’s so much less complicated than negotiating any other payment arrangement with someone you barely know. And because it’s fair, neither of you will feel owed or owing.

比起和你几乎不了解的人商量如何结账，各付各的就没那么复杂了。因为这是公平的，所以你们双方不会觉得谁欠谁。

8. No humblebragging

不要过分谦虚

Yes, it’s impressive that you compete in triathlons/run your own business/know that DJ. It’s so impressive that pretending to be humble or embarrassed when you’re actually pretty damn proud is just silly. Brag openly and briefly, as in, “Yeah, I do triathlons. I won the Example Triathlon last year,” then get back to whatever you were talking about before that.

是的，你参加三项全能运动/有自己的生意/认为那个DJ，这些会令人对你刮目相看。这些如此令人刮目相看，对那些你其实引以为傲的事情假装谦卑或难为情，这是很蠢的做法。大方而且简要地夸耀自己，比如说“是的，我参加了三项全能运动。我去年获得了铁人三项参与奖。”然后回到你之前谈论的话题上。

9. Eat mint

吃点薄荷糖

Do this not just to make sure your breath smells OK, but also because it perks you up. Mint helps you feel fresh, alert and ready for conversation. Plus, eating something minty prevents your mouth getting too dry if you’re nervous.

这样做不只是保证口气清新，而且它还能让你振奋。薄荷让你感觉清新，为谈话做好准备。此外，吃些带薄荷味的东西，当你紧张时能避免嘴唇发干。

10. Be prepared

做好准备

No matter who you are, there’s always a possibility that your first date could lead to sex, perhaps sooner than you thought. Be prepared with protection against pregnancy and STIs, of course, but it’s also important to prepare for the hormonal rush you’ll feel if there’s strong sexual chemistry between you and your date. Those hormones affect your judgement, so don’t take any unnecessary risks like driving too fast or drinking too much alcohol.

不管你是谁，在初次约会时和对方发生性关系都是有可能的，也许来得比你想的还要早。准备好避孕措施及预防性传播感染，当然，同样重要的是在你和你的约会对象之间产生强烈的性吸引力时，做好各种准备。这些激素会影响你的判断力，所以不要冒任何风险，比如开快车，或是酗酒。

11. Smile!

微笑

A genuine smile makes everyone look more attractive, without exception, so give your date a big smile when you see them. Because smiling triggers your nervous system to release serotonin, it improves your mood at the same time to help you enjoy the date.

无一例外，真诚的微笑让人看起来更有吸引力，所以去约会时，看到他们就给他们一个灿烂的微笑。因为微笑会触发神经系统释放血清素，它在改善情绪的同时帮助你享受约会的快乐。

Don’t worry about minor mishaps on a first date. The less you fret about it, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel. Keep these first date tips in mind to boost your date from average to awesome, and remember: this isn’t a job interview. It’s supposed to be fun!

不要担心初次约会时发生的小意外。担忧越少，你就越轻松、越自信。记住这些初次约会时的小建议，把你的约会从平庸提升到美妙，记住：这不是求职面试，初次约会就应该很好玩才对!