考研英语作文批改范例18

　　Dear administrator of the Project Hope:（英语中没有冒号，称呼后面用逗号，另外，你的称呼不要这么写，直接写Sir or Madam就好） 　　Im writing to find a candidate to which I could offer a financial aid.（这句话没有表达清楚，可以改成I am writing to ask you to help me find a .） 　　As a college school student, I dont have too much income, so Id like to find a primary school student whose school expense wont costs （情态动词后面用动词原形）a lot. I wish to help a diligent girl which （whose做形容词）family cant afford the money for her study so that she will treasure the asist（名词形式assistance） I give her. 　　I plan to tribute 200 yuan per month to the child I help, I will send she （动词后面用宾格形式her）some books and aticles which is useful for study, too. I also will write to her regurally to ask her condition of life.Whats more, I will call on my classmates to help some more children which need our help in the remote area .We can go to their hometown together on the vacation so that we can care them more. I can haldly wait for our pleasant trip. 　　Im looking forward to your answer.Li Ming Yours sincerely,