六级最后冲刺（二）高分作文点评

　　四考试越来越使模板无用武之地，阅卷老师在阅卷的过程中更多的是关注同学们的用词和句型的使用。

　　高分作文标志：

　　1、120-150字;150 180字;

　　2、是否长短句交叉;

　　3、用词是否恰当，准确，形象，尽量使用能够吸引阅卷老师眼球的闪光词;

　　4、关键词是否换用，切勿老用重复词;

　　高分作文注意事项：

　　1.适当用被动代替主动，这样能更客观的反映事实,句子开头不要总是用we / I 举个经典结尾2004年六月作文的最后一段：It is ,therefore, high time that some applicable approaches were implemented by the service industry like that. Thus，its competitive edge will be sharpened effectively.

　　2.善于使用插入语，比如说把副词、连接词等，作插入语放在中间，一般放在主语、动词或者助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。

　　如however / therefore /for example/I believe做插入语放在中间，一般放在动词，助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。

　　比如说：Other individuals, however, take the attitude that

　　3.一定要学会换词，换形象，具体的代替太宽泛的。比如上面例子中，applicable代替proper, approaches代替ways, implement代替carry out, sharpen one s competitive edge代替enhance one s competitiveness

　　高分作文举例：

　　Computer and I By Simmy

　　I never forget the exceedingly thrilling day when my mother bought me a computer as birthday present, which exerted a tremendous fascination on me so that i indulged myself in googling an army of useful information i had expected ,and enjoy a sea of melodious classic music. That night I was sleepless, feeling that the whole world belonged to me.

　　exceedingly替换very

　　thrilling替换exciting

　　sth. exert a tremendous fascination on sb替换sb. be interested in sth.

　　google替换search

　　an army of替换a lot of

　　The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say we have been submerged by them, in large measure!

　　The dawn of the new century witnessed是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情;

　　Increasing popularity替换more and more popular

　　Coincident with 非常地道的，表达 与 一致 的意思，替换With

　　Advancement替换development

　　Pour into 替换enter into

　　Current 替换now

　　Appeal to sb.替换sb. be interested in sth.

　　Growing individuals替换more and more people

　　It is no exaggeration to say经典句型，说某事是毫不夸张的

　　For a start, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment . Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.

　　For a start替换To begin with

　　We can, freely, search用了插入语的写作手法

　　our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened.用了非常精彩的被动

　　Additionally替换In addition / Besides

　　Deliver替换send

　　There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings, in a way, especially the growing violence ,, porn pictures, AV-films emerging on the screen , which leads quiet a few net citizens to copying.

　　There is no denying that , however, computers can function in the disservice of human beings,这个句子有三个精彩之处，首先There is no denying that这个句型，还有however作为插入语，function in the disservice of替换do harm to

　　Emerging代替appearing

　　Net citizen网民，属于精彩用词

　　As a classic proverb goes that no garden has no weeds. Computers do play a positive role in the development of people lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impacts. We should ,therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.