英语六级2分作文范文的批改2

　　英语六级待批改作文:

　　With the development of society, there are increasingly individuals who have got psychical disease. Furthermore, they also dont know psychical disease will lead to disease.

　　There are some reason for this phenomenon. Firstly, people will have pressure of heavy work, even some people lose the job. They feel very sad and lose value in society. Secondly, they lack of communication with others, and close their thought. Because of they stay online when finish work and so on. They should pay more attention to the situation.

　　As far as I am concerned. In order to keep our healthy psychical environment. They can do some exercise on their free-times and talk with their friends usually. It is best way of relax. This ways can help us take mind off the job. I believe we will gain more achievement in our future.

　　作文批改如下：

　　With the development of society, there are increasingly individuals who have got psychical disease. Furthermore, they also dont know psychical disease will lead to disease.

　　There are some reason(加s) for this phenomenon. Firstly, people will have pressure of heavy work, even some people lose the job society. Secondly, they lack of (删除)communication with others, and close their thought. Because of (删除，因为because of 后面不能加句子)they stay online when finish work and so on(删除，另外，不能理解你本句要表达的意思与上一句有何关系). They should pay more attention to the situation.

　　As far as I am concerned. (改为逗号) In order to keep our healthy psychical environment(改为us psychologically healthy).They can do some exercise on theirfree-times and talk with their friends usually. It is best way of relax. This ways can help us take mind off the job. I believe we will gain more achievement in our future.(你写的是在未来会获得更大的成功，这与心理健康问题无关)

　　同学你好，你需要提高英语的表达能力，建议你多背一些好的范文，摘抄一些好的句子，并将其运用到你的作文之中，另外，要注意单复数以及主谓一致的问题。