四级名师在线批改作文:有私家车的利弊

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few more money invariably prefer to get a car .

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a convenience to us,for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends ,and workplace maybe far away from your home.what is more,when it comes to winter,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather.Only a few people could resist the temptation to own a large car on such a terrible climate.

　　In most time, however,this is just part of the picture.people always disregard those neglect points with great ease.It seems that they forget the increasing car contribute to so many puzzled problems ,for instance,the distasteful traffic jim and air pollutation. people who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon them to be sort of crucial necessities.bue in fact,we can do without it most time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could take it seriously and render the car efficient .

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few（a little。Money不可数） more money invariably prefer to get a car

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a（删掉） convenience to us, for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends（改成as you may prefer to drive to suburb with your family。首先，你习惯开车那一般来说不会是你要买车的原因，也不会是汽车给你带来方便的原因；其次，families，呃亲爱的，一个人能有多少个家庭阿） ,and （插入your。第一，可数名词单数不可以单独存在。第二，指明是谁的，和后面的you对应） workplace maybe far away from your home. what is more, when it comes to winter（改成winter comes。When it comes to sth.表示当提及什么什么的时候）,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather. Only a few people could resist the temptation to own（owning） a large car（能问一下为啥一定要是large car么？） on（in） such a terrible climate.

　　In most time（改成in most cases）, however, this is just （插入a） part of the picture. People always disregard those neglect（neglected） points with great（with ease就足够了。不用great。用了great的感觉就像举个不怎么恰当的例子：他努力而轻松地作出了选择。奇怪吧？） ease. It seems that they forget the increasing car（number of cars。汽车不能增长，但是数量可以） contribute（contributes） to so many puzzled（删掉吧） problems ,for instance, the distasteful（换一个词来表示让人不高兴的吧。这里用这个词嗯，其实堵车本身就没有滋味可言） traffic jim（jams） and air pollutation（pollution）. People who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon（这个词我喜欢。罗琳在Harry Potter里面就经常用） them to be sort of crucial necessities. Bue（but） in fact,we can do （do？do what？）without it（前面还是them，咋这里就成it了？） most （插入of the） time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could（改成should.） take it seriously and render the car efficient（这里你想表达的是什么意思呢？p.s.这里有语法错误）.