一篇好的文章不但内容丰富有条理,句子结构紧凑清楚,遣词用字更是恰到好处,引人入胜。即使不能达到这样理想的境界,至少也要思路清晰、文字正确。
下面四段出处不同的文字乖离了英语句法标准,必须更正。
先看第一段文字:
Fifteen years teaching experienced qualified full time tutor - Available for all levels Chinese subjects.
这段文字虽然措词凌乱,但是并不难理解讲的是什么;真的是 只有其意,不见其形或是有意无形。稍微分析一下,不难断定问题所在。
㈠ 构词法不对:fifteen yearsfifteen years of /15-year ;all levelsall levels of. ㈡ 名词形式不对:experienced experience. ㈢ 标点符号被忽略:full timefull-time.
修改后的句子合乎语法,但全句并不自然,要改写如下:
A qualified full-time tutor with 15 years of teaching experience is available for all levels of Chinese.
再看第二段文字:
All materials are good quality with latest design and guaranteed.
这段话的错误如下:
㈠ 形容词词组不对:good qualityof good quality. ㈡ 定冠词被忽略:with latest designwith the latest design. ㈢被动语态中的接系动词不在场:guaranteedare guaranteed.
修正后的句子既正确又易解,但可以使它从对变好,如下:
All materials are of good quality, with the latest design and under permanent guarantee.
这里三个形容词词组,一个接一个,紧紧扣住,符合对句法( parallelism)中每个成分平衡的原理。
最后,看看这段话:
To sell or to market such a high value asset professionally, you should entrust the job to a true professional in order to optimise your propertys full potential to secure the highest price and the shortest period of time.
上面三个加线之处,都有语病。
㈠ high valuehighly valued/ highly valuable. ㈡ your propertys full potentialthe full potential of your property. ㈢ andat.
此外,㈡前面有optimise(尽量提高)这字,potential 里面的full便多余了,应该除去。同样的道理,下面这句里的 widely和in more than 100 countries,也互相抵触,要除去其中一个:
prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination which is widely recognised in more than 100 countries.
改正之后,可以是which is widely recognised或which is recognised in more than 100 countries.
此外,这句的形容词分句which是非限定的( non-restrictive adjective clause),其前面要加逗号,把分句和先行词分开,才符合用法:
prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination, which is widely recognised
or
prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination, which is recognised in more than 100 countries.
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