研究：礼物和恭维都没有用 勇敢对抗才能搞定丈母娘

If your future mother-in-law thinks you’re not suitable for her darling son or daughter, don’t shower her with gifts and compliments – stand up to her instead.

如果你的未来岳母或婆婆认为，你不适合她的宝贝女儿或儿子，别给她献一堆礼物和恭维之辞，而要与她对抗。

Scientists have found that the best way to win over future in-laws is to take an assertive approach and directly persuade them you will make your intended spouse happy.

如今科学家发现，赢得未来岳母或婆婆信任的最佳方式是，表现出自信，直接说服他们，你会让你的意中人过得幸福。

It may seem counter-intuitive, but this tactic – dubbed the ‘I am right for your child’ approach – helped win over doubting fathers and mothers, a study found.

这看起来似乎与直觉相悖，但研究发现，这一被称为“我最适合你的孩子的策略，帮助许多人赢得了持疑父母的信任。

The worst strategy was to avoid dealing with the in-laws yourself and instead to ask your sweetheart to lobby on your behalf.

最差的策略是，避免与岳父母或公婆交谈，而让你的伴侣代表你去游说。

The researchers dubbed this tactic the ‘tell them I’m good’ method.

研究者称这种策略为“告诉他们我很优秀策略。

And despite the traditional view of the judgmental mother-in-law, the study found that it may actually be easier to win over mothers than fathers.

与认为岳母和婆婆很挑剔的传统观念不同，研究发现，实际上赢得岳母/婆婆的信任比赢得岳父/公公的信任容易。

In his research paper, Professor Menelaos Apostolou said that children frequently choose mates who do not appeal to their parents.

在此研究报告中，迈内劳斯·阿珀斯特鲁教授称，孩子们时常选择不受家长喜欢的对象。

For instance, they may fall for individuals who are physically attractive, while their parents are more concerned with social standing and family background.

例如，他们会爱上一些外貌较好的人，但家长更关心社会地位和家庭背景。

The study of 738 Greek-Cypriots identified approaches that were most likely to be used to win over in-laws, which Professor Apostolou grouped into seven tactics.

对738位希腊裔塞浦路斯人进行的研究，确定了最常用于说服岳父母/公婆的方法，阿珀斯特鲁教授将其归为七种策略。

First was the ‘I am right for your child’ tactic, in which suitors demonstrate to the prospective parents-in-law how good they are as mates for their children.

首先是“我最适合你的孩子策略。追求者向未来岳父母/公婆展示，自己是多么适合做他们孩子的伴侣。

Following this came the ‘I do not deserve this!’ strategy, in which they demonstrate to their mate’s parents that they do not warrant their rejection.

接下来是“我不接受!策略。追求者会向伴侣父母表现出，自己不接受他们的反对。

Third most common was the ‘Why don’t you like me?’ approach, in which suitors try to determine why the parents disapprove and try to change their minds.

最常见的第三种是“你为什么不喜欢我?策略。追求者试图判断家长为什么反对，并试图改变他们的想法。

Other tactics include ‘No confrontation’ and ‘You have to accept the situation!’ in which they can threaten the parents by suggesting they risk never seeing their grandchildren.

其他策略包括“不准反对和“你得接受现实!。追求者可威胁对方父母，暗示他们有可能见不到他们的孙儿。

There was also the ‘Approach’ strategy, in which lovers try to grow closer to the in-laws by inviting them for dinner and buying gifts.

还有“接近策略。追求者通过邀请岳父母/公婆共进晚餐和给他们送礼物，试图拉近与他们的距离。

Finally there is the ‘Tell them I am good’ tactic in which the partner is drafted in to persuade their own parents of their lover’s virtues.

最后是“告诉他们我很优秀策略。此种方法中，伴侣被拉进来游说自己的父母，告诉他们自己对象的优秀品质。

The ‘I am right for your child’ and ‘No confrontation’ tactics were the favourites whereas ‘approach’ and ‘Tell them I am good!’ were least likely to be successful.

“我最适合你的孩子和“不准反对策略是最推荐的，而“接近和“告诉他们我很优秀!成功率最低。

Vocabulary

draft: 选派;抽调;征用