白宫记者会晚宴 奥巴马变身段子手

Once again, he was the comedian-in-chief.

今年的2015白宫记者会晚宴上，奥巴马再次化身“首席谐星。

Describing his presidency as being in its “fourth quarter, President Obama delivered barbs at 2016 presidential candidates, cable news outlets, his Republican critics and even First Lady Michelle Obama.

在演讲中，奥巴马称自己处在任期内的第四个季度即最后两年中，它不仅吐槽了2016年美国总统大选的候选人、有线资讯网、共和党的各路人马，连第一夫人米歇尔他也没放过。

While not every joke drew lots of laughs, the A-listers in attendance whooped it up for a good portion of the 22-minute monologue. The President even called up Keegan Michael-Key from “Key & Peele to the stage to act in his role as "anger translator Luther" for the final portion of the speech at this year’s so-called “Nerd Prom at the Washington Hilton Hotel.

虽然并不是每个段子都有“笑果，但22分钟的演讲中大部分时间现场都是笑声不断的。今年的白宫记者协会晚宴在华盛顿希尔顿酒店举行，该宴会一直被戏称为“书呆子聚会，奥巴马在本次演讲中还邀请《黑人兄弟》中的科甘·迈克尔·基扮演他的“愤怒翻译官卢瑟。

The Daily News picked out the top jokes from the speech that’s become an annual rite of spring in our nation’s capital.

下面摘录了其中的一些段子。

--(ON #WHCD) “Welcome to the White House Correspondents’ dinner, the night when Washington celebrates itself. Somebody’s gotta do it.

—“欢迎来到白宫记者晚宴，这是华盛顿自我表扬的一个夜晚，没人表扬我们就自己来。(吐槽晚宴)

--(On presidential fatigue after seven years) “The fact is I feel more loose and relaxed than ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages — they’re like magic. You should try one.

–“事实上，我感觉比以前更放松了。乔·拜登按摩肩膀的技术真不是盖的，就像一双魔术手，你应该试试。(吐槽任职总统7年期间的劳累)

--(On rumors that he’s a Muslim) “Being President is never easy. I still have to fix the broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran, all while finding time to pray five times a day.

--“当总统从来都不是轻松事，我仍要修补破旧的移民体系，威胁使用谈判权，跟伊朗谈判，每天还得挤出时间做5次祈祷。(吐槽有关他是穆斯林的传言)

--(On House Speaker John Boehner) “It’s no wonder people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner has already invited (Israel Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.

—“难怪人们说我当总统后越来越老，我看起来太老了，约翰·博纳已经邀请内塔尼亚胡在我的葬礼上发言了。(吐槽众院议长约翰·博纳)

--(ON FLOTUS) “Michelle hasn’t aged a day. I ask her what her secret is and she just says, ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.

—“可是米歇尔就一丁点也没老，我问她秘诀是什么，她只是说‘新鲜的水果和蔬菜’，太可恨了。(吐槽第一夫人)

--(On former Vice President Dick Cheney) “Dick Cheney says he thinks I’m the worst President of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst President of my lifetime. Quite a coincidence.

—“迪克·切尼说他认为我是他这辈子见过的最烂的总统，有趣的是我也认为切尼也是我这辈子见过的最烂的总统，真是巧啊。(吐槽前副总统迪克·切尼)

--(On former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee) “Mike Huckabee recently said people shouldn’t join our military until a true conservative is elected President. Think about that. It was so outrageous, 47 ayatollahs wrote a letter trying to explain to Huckabee how our system works.

—“麦克·哈克比最近说在纯正的保守派当选总统之前，人们都不应该参军。想想啊，47位阿拉图气得联名给我们写信试图跟哈克比解释我们的体制如何运行。(吐槽前阿肯色州州长麦克·哈克比)

--(On former secretary of state and current 2016 candidate Hillary Clinton) “I’ve just got to put this stuff aside. I’ve gotta stay focused on my job, because for many Americans this is still a time of deep uncertainty. For example, I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa.

—“我必须把这些糟心事放在一边，专注于我的工作，因为对于许多美国人来说，这仍是个充满各种不确定的时期。比如我有个朋友，几周前她还年入数百万，如今她却沦落到了爱荷华州，在小货车里过日子了。(吐槽希拉里)

--(On Vice President Biden) “You know I tease Joe sometimes, but he has been at my side for seven years. I love that man. He’s not just a great vice president, he’s a great friend. We’ve gotten so close (that) in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.

—“虽然我有时会吐糟拜登，但七年来他一直陪伴我左右，我爱这哥们。他不仅是位出色的副总统，也是位极好的朋友，我俩在印第安纳的某些地方过于亲密，搞得人家都不卖给我们披萨了。(吐槽副总统拜登)

--(On host Cecily Strong) “On 'Saturday Night Live,' Cecily impersonates CNN anchor Brooke Baldwin, which is surprising, because usually the only people impersonating journalists on CNN are journalists on CNN.

—“星期六晚上《周六夜现场》的直播上，塞西莉模仿了CNN主播布鲁克·博尔登。真是让我惊讶，因为通常来说在CNN唯一假装记者的就是CNN的记者们。(吐槽主持人塞西莉)

--(On a new ABC sitcom) “ABC is here with some of the stars from their big new comedy ‘Blackish.’ It’s a great show, but I have to give ABC fair warning: Being blackish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me. There’s a shelf life to that thing.

—“ABC也来了，还带来了他们的新剧‘有点黑’的演员们。这剧很不错，但我要给ABC一些温馨提示：有点黑只能让你火一段时间，相信我，这是有保质期的。(吐槽ABC新剧)

--(On GOP donors Charles and David Koch and the 2016 field) “It’s amazing how time flies. Soon the first presidential contest will take place. And I for one cannot wait to see who the Koch brothers pick.

—“日子过得太快，第一轮选战很快就要开始了，我等不及要看科赫兄弟会选谁上位了。(吐槽共和党的赞助人科赫兄弟和16年大选)

--(On Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ potential candidacy) “I like Bernie. Bernie’s an interesting guy. Apparently some folks really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.

—“我喜欢伯尼，伯尼是个很有趣的人。显然有些人想看到抽大麻的社会主义者混入白宫，看来真要有第三个奥巴马任期了。(吐槽伯尼·桑德斯)

--(Introducing Michael-Key) “You know I often joke about tensions between me and the press. But honestly, what they say doesn’t bother me, I know we’ve got an adversarial system. I’m a mellow sort of guy. And that’s why I invited Luther, my anger translator to join me here tonight.

—“我常调侃我和媒体之间的紧张关系，不过说老实话他们的话并不会令我不快，我明白这是一种抗辩制，我是个温和的人。所以我请来卢瑟，我的愤怒翻译官来到今晚的现场。(介绍迈克尔·基)