开眼界：神翻译不只中国有[1]

It's a running joke that us Brits are known for only speaking English when abroad – so much so that many signs are in our mother tongue.

有个流传很广的笑话，说我们英国人出国只说英语——因为我们多年坚持不懈，所以各国才有很多英文标识。

And while locals go above and beyond to try to indulge our lack of language skills, sometimes the divide between what is said and what is meant can be huge.

虽说当地人努力提高英语水平，纵容了我们这些不会外语的人，不过，有些时候他们说出来的话和真正想要表达的意思，真是相去万里。

Now, in a new book called Utterly Lost in Translation: Even More ­Misadventures in English Abroad, comedian Charlie Croker has brought together some of the very best language howlers he ­discovered after three years of globe-trotting.

在一本《迷失在 From boarding a plane to eating out, it proves sometimes we really might be better off digging out that old phrase book…

从登机到外出就餐，所有的经历都证明我们真应该好好翻翻那本老旧的旅行会话小册子……

Travel troubles...

旅行的烦恼……

Travelling can be a testing experience – and these very misleading signs don't make it any easier...

旅行本来就是一场考验——而这些错误的标识使旅行更加艰难……

An airport in China made this special request of drivers: “Please confirm your car is licked.” Surely a car wash would suffice?

中国有个机场对司机提出了特殊的要求:“Please confirm your car is licked. Meanwhile there was this eye-catching warning on a busy stretch of road inIndia: “Go slow – accident porn area.” Bet there were a few rubberneckers for that one...

而在印度一条繁忙的公路上有一个吸引眼球的提示：“Go slow – accident porn area. And you might get more than you bargain for on this Greek road, where a sign warns: “Parking is for bitten along the coastal road.” Ouch.

在希腊这条路上你可能会碰到不愉快的事情，因为路面标识写着：“Parking is for bitten along the coastal road. Though driving has its pitfalls, things don't get much better on the trains. A notice on a toilet inChinareads: “Do not use toilet while train is in stable.” Where do the horses sleep, then?

虽说在路上开车有风险，坐火车也没有好到哪儿去。中国一列火车的厕所这样提醒：“Do not use toilet while train is in stable. Don't think about smoking if you are a fully fledged adult travelling inMonrovia,Liberia. There, a notice reads: “Dear passengers, please be tiny when using ashtrays.”

不要认为你是成年人就可以吸烟，在利比里亚蒙罗维亚市，有一条标语：“Dear passengers, please be tiny when using ashtrays. And at a Chinese airport you may be in for something painful at the baggage drop. They call it: “Luggage disembowel.” It may well be better to keep your internal organs and take hand luggage – just to be on the safe side.

在中国的一个机场行李提取处，你可能会遇上很痛苦的事儿，他们管行李提取叫：“Luggage disembowel. Shopping slip-ups...

购物囧事……

Fancy a spot of shopping on your hols? Be careful what you buy...

想象美好的假期购物？要当心……

Brits abroad don't have the best reputation but there's no need for this sign inPratap Pura,India: “AnusEnglishAcademy– no problem.”

我知道英国人在国外的名声不是最好的，但是也没必要这样写吧。印度普拉塔普神庙一条标语写着:“Anus English Academy– no problem. A “Take free titty” notice in a women's clothes shop in China says is bound to attract the wrong clientele.

中国一家女装店告示写着：“Take free titty. And someone was clearly having a bad day at work when they framed this picture of a cat with the caption, “My dog”.

商家给一个猫咪照片相框配的文字是“My dog A shop selling Bavarian beer mugs in Munich,Germany, boasts “We sell beer stains”. We doubt they make much of a profit.

德国慕尼黑一家贩卖巴伐利亚啤酒杯的商店，自夸道：“We sell beer stains A tailor inDubaicalled The In Trend didn't think it through – the labels on his garments read “TiT”.

迪拜的一家裁缝店不假思索就把“The In Trend One French sports shoe shop inAix-en-Provencemight need to rethink its name – Athlete's Foot.

一家位于法国普罗旺斯埃克斯城的运动鞋店名“Athlete's Foot We may talk the same language but that hasn't stopped oneUSclothes store coming up with this gem: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

尽管美国人和我们一样都说英语，但是这也阻止不了一家美国服装店想出的绝妙标语：“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. And this Kentucky store has another pearler: “Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work.”

而肯塔基州的这家商店的标语也是大放光彩：“Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work. A Chinese bookshop must be trying to cash in on Middle Earth in a section for “Sports and hobbits”.

一家中国书店一定在设法利用中土世界赚钱，因为他们店内的标语写着：“Sports and hobbits A Thai hotel jeweller has “Porn gems”. For the filthy rich perhaps?

一家泰国酒店珠宝商写着：“Porn gems And a Thai beauty salon offers “A relaxing foot bath where you start with a special crime”. A bit of GBH before a foot rub, anyone?

还有一家泰国美容院提供“A relaxing foot bath where you start with a special crimeRecipes for disaster...

菜单沦陷……

Eating out is one of the best parts of a holiday, unless your menu includes one of these unusual treats...

美食是度假中最美好的部分，除非你在菜单上看到这些奇葩菜名……

A restaurant in the Czech Republic offers: “Horses douvres.” Just say neigh.

捷克一家饭店提供:“Horses douvres. In Cadiz, Spain, “Roast Alf Partridge” is a firm favourite on the menu. Perhaps they couldn't catch Alan Partridge.

在西班牙的加迪斯，“Roast Alf Partridge A jar of black raspberry jam in America: “Tastes Like Grandma.” We all love our grandmas but no one wants to eat her.

美洲的一种黑树莓果酱瓶身上写着：“Tastes Like Grandma. One establishment in Beijing offers “Virgin chicken”. It's pure meat.

北京一家店提供“Virgin chicken Meanwhile, another China restaurant has “grilled sexual harassment” on its menu.

另外一家中国饭店的菜单上提供“grilled sexual harassment Which would go nicely with the “Lawyer Foam” that appeared on a menu in Madrid.

马德里一份菜单上的“Lawyer Foam A shortage of plates after the traditional plate smashing means one Greek restaurant may have had to find an unusual alternative going by this: “Fish on the eyelid.”

可能希腊一家餐馆的盘子弄碎了不够用，所以餐馆需要找一个不寻常的替代品：“Fish on the eyelid. “Please do not park in front of the sh**ter,” a sign in South Goa, India, warns. Probably sage advice as Delhi Belly can be rife among travellers.

印度果阿邦南部的一条警示标语：“Please do not park in front of the sh**ter Hotel howlers...

酒店囧译……

And things don't get much better after you check in...

登记入住后，情况并没有好转……

A sign in a hotel bathroom inFrancewarns guests: “Do not throw kidney in the toilet.” Does that mean a liver is allowed?

法国一家旅馆的浴室写着：“Do not throw kidney in the toilet. While this sign inKazakhstancertainly isn't going to encourage us to get our five a day: “There is a bowel of fruit in each room.” Yum.

哈萨克斯坦的这家旅馆一定不鼓励我们“一天五个”水果吃法：“There is a bowel of fruit in each room. A guest information booklet in aThailandhotel bedroom gives some very honest advice: “If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish.”

泰国一家旅馆房间的宾客信息册子给出了非常诚恳的建议：“If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish. Meanwhile, landscapers at a resort inAntiguaare getting out of hand, according to this sign: “Our gardeners work delinquently."

安提瓜岛旅游胜地的园林绿化工已经失控了，这条标语告诉我们：“Our gardeners work delinquently. In an Austrian skiing resort, one establishment tried to lay down the law about diners taking their meals upstairs to the restaurant: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant!”

在奥地利的一个滑雪胜地，一家餐馆试图跟用餐者强调把食物带到楼上餐厅去吃的规定，店里标识写道: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant! howler: 愚蠢的错误

indulge: 纵容

globe-trotting: 环球游览

pitfalls: 隐藏的危险

filthy: 下流的