奶奶的硬币，爱的鼓励

八岁的时候，我们一家从开罗搬到了伊利诺斯州的弗农山，从此远离了祖母。我非常想念她。大家说我是她最疼爱的孙女，而她也是我最爱的奶奶。她，是爸爸的母亲。

两年后，爸爸妈妈分居，很快他们便离婚了。我觉得我的世界好像崩溃了。原本属于我生活的一部分正在远去，这让我心痛不已。妈妈一定感觉到了我的渴望，于是她时常带我和弟弟去看奶奶，即使是在离婚之后。

我一直知道奶奶深爱着我们。即使在你的世界被彻底颠覆时，这种爱也是可以用心感受的到的。

她住的房子并不豪华，也没有贵重的东西，但我从没在意过这些，我只知道她爱我，而我也爱她。

曾经有一段时间，我们和爷爷奶奶一起住在一栋复式公寓，当时爸爸参加了二战。

奶奶从来没有很多钱，物质上的东西也不多。但正是一些小事让我记忆深刻。比如那只总是放在桌上的糖碗，她曾经让我把手指伸进去蘸着吃，她还把自己的咖啡给我喝。这些时候，她都允许我坐在餐桌上。

奶奶耐心地向我解释过天气风向标的功能，它挂在墙上，用以预测未来的天气。风向标上的木制小男孩和小女孩怎么知道从哪个门出来，什么时候会下雨，这些都让我觉得惊奇。但是奶奶都懂。

她还有一个在我看来很漂亮的醋瓶，放在高高的架子上。我曾问过她有一天能不能把这个瓶给我。在她的葬礼过后，这个瓶子被放在一个盒子里交给了我。她还记得我说的话，爱就是这样。

我们在开罗的复式公寓跟爷爷奶奶住隔壁的时候，我经常和奶奶呆在一起。但是时光飞逝，物是人非。爷爷去世了，我们住在一百英里之外，而爸爸——她最小的儿子——也不和我们住在一起了。我和爸爸见面不多，也不知道奶奶是不是经常见他。但是，他是她的儿子，我知道她爱他。爱就是这样，它能够超越痛苦。

尽管她和我们一样都不宽裕，但还是尽己所能地为我和弟弟汤米做些事情。我永远都会记得;她把零钱存放在一个玻璃罐中。我知道奶奶本可以花掉这些零钱，但是她却总是把它们攒下来，在我们去看望她的时候分给我们。我是姐姐，所以负责把这些零钱平分给弟弟和自己。

“一个给你，一个给我，”我一直重复这句话，直到罐子里的硬币分完为止。

我记不得这些零钱我们总共拿过多少，其实数目并不重要。它是一份心意，表示我们不在奶奶身边的时候，她还记挂着我们，关心着我们。

在需要爱的鼓励的日子里，这些童年记忆还能给我温暖的模糊的感觉。多年来，奶奶的爱一直跟随着孙女，甚至直到孙女自己也做了奶奶。经过这些年，每当我运气好，发现地上躺着一枚硬币时，我还常常会想，它或许是奶奶从天堂抛给我的。

We had moved from Cairo to Mt. Vernon, Illinois, away from my grandmother when I was eight years old. I missed her terribly. I was told I was her favorite grandchild; she was my favorite “Granny.” She was my Father’s mother.

Two years later my mother and father separated and they were soon divorced. I felt as if my world was falling apart. My heart ached for that part of me that was slipping away. Mother must have sensed my longing, for she would take my little brother and me back to visit my Granny on occasions, even after the divorce.

I was always aware Granny loved us. It was something you could feel with your heart, even when your world was turned upside down.

She didn’t live in a fancy house or have expensive things, but I never noticed; I just knew she loved me and I loved her back.

We had lived, for a time, next door to her and grandpa in a duplex while my father was away during World War II.

Granny had never had very much in the way of money or material things. But it was the little things she gave me that had always mattered. Things like letting me dip my fingers in the sugar bowl, which was always sitting on her table or the coffee she let me sip from her cup. She allowed me to sit on top of her kitchen table as I partook ofthose privileges.

Granny took the time to explain the function of her weather vane, hanging on the wall, which predicted the upcoming weather. How that little wooden boy and girl knew what door to come out of, when it was going to rain, amazed me. But Granny understood.

She also had a vinegar cruet that sat high on a shelf that was beautiful, in my eyes; I asked if I could have it someday. It was given to me in a box after her funeral. She remembered; love is like that.

I used to spend a lot of time with Granny when we lived in Cairo, next door to her and grandpa, in the duplex. But times and things had changed. Grandpa had died; we lived a hundred miles away, and dad, her youngest son, my daddy, no longer lived with us. I didn’t get to see dad much, and I don’t know if Granny got to see him very often either. But, he was her son, and I knew she loved him. Love is like that; it can see past the pain.

Though she didn’t have much, neither did we, but she did something for my brother, Tommie and me. I will always remember; she saved her pennies in a glass jar. I am sure Granny could have used those pennies herself but she saved them to give us when we came to visit. Because I was the oldest I was in charge of dividing the pennies equally between my brother and me.

“One for you, one for me,” I would repeat until the jar was empty.

I don’t remember how much we collected on our visits, nor was the amount important. It was the idea that she remembered us, and cared about us, when we were away from her.

Those memories, of when I was a child, still give me warm fuzzy feelings on days that I need them. A Granny’s love stays with a grandchild, down through the years, even when that child becomes a grandma herself. I often wonder, after all those years, when I am lucky enough to find a penny lying on the ground somewhere, if it could possible be Granny tossing me pennies from heaven.