托福作文点评：高一生的托福作文

　　托福作文时间短，任务大，很多考生会在语法、句型及拼写等方面犯错误。其实这些错误在托福备考过程中，大家也可能会犯，不过因为不重视，或者无人指点，所以没有及时改正。本文中，老师为大家整理一篇高一生的托福作文的点评，希望对大家有所帮助。

　　托福写作真题：

　　Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　托福写作范文：

　　Nowadays the food we eat is prepared fast and it really had an influence in our life. With all the aspects concerned, the change is considered to be negative.

　　As the time of the preparation is shortened, the nutrition in the food is reduced as well. Food producers do not focus on how much the protein and the vitamins should be contain, instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need, and this will help them to earn more money. Because of this reason, we can not obtain much nutrition from the food but only calories, and they do nothing to health.

　　Another aspect must not be ignored is that food plays an important role in our daily life. Sometimes we use food of various styles, tastes and colors to express our feelings just like musicians use tunes to express their passions. Fast preparation makes it impossible to show its advantage in art. All the food are the same taste, same style, and it makes the meal boring. Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper.

　　As you can see, the fast food preparations have many disadvantages although we could not neglect that it supply enough time to those businessmen and businesswomen who are working hard everyday always have no time for meals. But to make a thoroughly thinking, fast food make people fail to take into account that food is also vital in our life and is certainly an art, it still has more negative impacts in our life.

　　托福作文点评1：

　　instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need;这一句和主旨有抵触;可以去掉这句，只是说为了赚钱;

　　All the food are the same taste, same style;--这个太片面了，感觉不太让人相信，你可以重点举一两个例子说明味道不好，或者让人没有胃口;

　　Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper. --这里的supper不能代替food;

　　总体上来说还是不错的，句型简洁，通俗易懂，如果再论证方面多加润色的话，效果会更好一些，加油!

　　托福作文点评2：

　　不知道你自己改了没有,第一句话就有时态的错误...判分一下就很不利 。

　　观点基本清楚,有论据,说服力苍白 。

　　作者用的句式对于托福作文来说有25分把,但是句子内容累赘。