托福作文时间短,任务大,很多考生会在语法、句型及拼写等方面犯错误。其实这些错误在托福备考过程中,大家也可能会犯,不过因为不重视,或者无人指点,所以没有及时改正。本文中,老师为大家整理一篇高一生的托福作文的点评,希望对大家有所帮助。
托福写作真题:
Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
托福写作范文:
Nowadays the food we eat is prepared fast and it really had an influence in our life. With all the aspects concerned, the change is considered to be negative.
As the time of the preparation is shortened, the nutrition in the food is reduced as well. Food producers do not focus on how much the protein and the vitamins should be contain, instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need, and this will help them to earn more money. Because of this reason, we can not obtain much nutrition from the food but only calories, and they do nothing to health.
Another aspect must not be ignored is that food plays an important role in our daily life. Sometimes we use food of various styles, tastes and colors to express our feelings just like musicians use tunes to express their passions. Fast preparation makes it impossible to show its advantage in art. All the food are the same taste, same style, and it makes the meal boring. Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper.
As you can see, the fast food preparations have many disadvantages although we could not neglect that it supply enough time to those businessmen and businesswomen who are working hard everyday always have no time for meals. But to make a thoroughly thinking, fast food make people fail to take into account that food is also vital in our life and is certainly an art, it still has more negative impacts in our life.
托福作文点评1:
instead they just want to make the preparation shorter and shorter, which will be more efficient to satisfy the customers need;这一句和主旨有抵触;可以去掉这句,只是说为了赚钱;
All the food are the same taste, same style;--这个太片面了,感觉不太让人相信,你可以重点举一两个例子说明味道不好,或者让人没有胃口;
Some people may even lose their appetite for meals as they are offered such a dull supper. --这里的supper不能代替food;
总体上来说还是不错的,句型简洁,通俗易懂,如果再论证方面多加润色的话,效果会更好一些,加油!
托福作文点评2:
不知道你自己改了没有,第一句话就有时态的错误...判分一下就很不利 。
观点基本清楚,有论据,说服力苍白 。
作者用的句式对于托福作文来说有25分把,但是句子内容累赘。
上一篇: 托福写作突破满分有捷径:课外阅读不可少
下一篇: 托福作文如何在30分钟内写完得高分?
近几年,汉语中的狗文化好像变了
体坛英语资讯:China loses to Switzerland in mixed doubles curling opener
情人节送啥好?看看这些“反面教材”先
马斯克一手造梦想一手造时势
国际英语资讯:IOC President Bach to visit DPR Korea
体坛英语资讯:Bayern, Dortmund secure wins in German Bundesliga
拉马福萨可能成为南非新总统
情人节送啥好?看看这些“反面教材”先
各国央行应打击比特币
体坛英语资讯:Zhejiang still has chance to enter playoffs after ending its losing streak
近几年,汉语中的狗文化好像变了
体坛英语资讯:Frankfurt, Schalke advance into German Cup semifinals
春节到,贴一副英文春联吧!
剑桥大学引入性侵匿名举报 9个月收到近200起投诉
国内英语资讯:Chinas growing innovation capacity to play bigger role in global health: Bill Gates
国际英语资讯:Pakistan will not allow use of its soil against any country: army chief
利比里亚前总统获伊布拉欣獎
国内英语资讯:CCDI highlights further reform of national supervision system
国内英语资讯:China, ASEAN to begin consultation on Code of Conduct in South China Sea in March
国际英语资讯:Cuba, U.S. hold talks on collaboration against money laundering
以色列称空袭“重创”伊朗和叙利亚军队
体坛英语资讯:Kenyans eye Lisbon Half Marathon win, rule out world record attempt
中国人得多花钱?希思罗机场免税店正式道歉
体坛英语资讯:Leipzig beat Augsburg 2-0 in German Bundesliga
国际英语资讯:Syrian govt rejects UN-led constitutional committee
情人节,一句话虐哭单身族
体坛英语资讯:Test events for 18th Asian Games to be held in host city Jakarta
春节风俗禁忌:过年做这10件事会倒霉
国内英语资讯:Beijing sees longest dry spell in 47 yrs
美参议院权衡移民改革多种议案