Finally, the third essay. The overall structure of the story is quite well controlled, though the logical links between individual events could be improved. For example, the employee showed her to the manager, so she was going towards him, but then the manager approached from behind. Finally, she looked up and saw a frown, which again suggests that she was facing him. But these are errors that can be corrected with careful thought. What really made this essay different from all the others was a single phrase that leapt off the page at me? mosquitos voice. This phrase,unexpected and metaphorical, shows precise observation of life. It clearly expresses a complex set of features in the way the writer spoke. Think of the nights when you hear the high-pitched whine of a mosquito in the dark. You dont know where it is and you flap your hands madly trying to hit it, but usually without success. Now think about the writer: Her voice was high-pitched, from nervousness probably, and she probably had the feeling that it came from somewhere else and was not under her control? just like the mosquito. A striking and very effective image that lifted this essay out of the crowd for me.
上一篇: 三篇短文与一个老外的评语(一)
下一篇: 英语的结构句型200佳句(五)
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看啥都像人脸 这位小哥让这些物体“活”起来
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长大的快乐 The Happiness of Growing Up
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去国外点餐你还在土鳖地用手指着说this和that吗?
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国防部:撼山易撼解放军难!
美图搞大事情了,开始和Facebook合作搞AR
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一周热词榜(7.15-21)
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