When I started doing research for this column,
asking what sorts of money fights people have, every single couple said the same thing:
Well, we dont really fight about money.
Right, right,right, Id have to say,backing away from the flame of lies.
But we all have the occasional childish squabble, right?
Even then people were hesitant.Well... maybe, theyd say.
One woman described how her husband took away her credit card one day.
Not that they fought about it.
Or take another couple I know.
I was at their house recently when the husband came home from work with a new drum set.
He hadnt planed to drop 500 dollars on drums that day, he explained,
as he unloaded the car, he just saw a classified ad and thought,why not?
Although his wife appeared calm while I was there,
she told me later that they had a long discussion about the fact
that they had agreed to save money to buy a house
never mind their long-planned trip to Europe this summer
and why did he have to buy a drum set NOW?
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Its a fairly common fight,
and it usually happens because the two people involved arent on the same page,
says Barbara Steinmetz, a financial planner in Burlingame, Calif.
One person thinks they have a shared goal of saving for a house, car or retirement, and the other doesnt.
In fact, most fights occur not because of the amount of money spent
but because of unspoken expectations that couples have
and are often afraid to talk about.
Sometimes its clashing styles, sometimes mismatched agendas,
but people get so rooted in their own money views
that they cant see that their partner simply has a different perspective.
Steinmetz described one couple she advised who had this blind spot.
The husband first outlined his goals for investing, retirement savings, etc.
Steinmetz then asked the wife about her goals.
The husband was shocked to find out his wife had goals
and they were different from his! she says.
新概念英语第三册英音版 08-A Famous Monastery
新概念英语第二册英音版 93-A Noble Gift
新概念英语第二册英音版 68-Persistent
新概念英语第二册英音版 77-A Successful Operation
新概念英语第三册英音版 01-A Puma at Large
新概念英语第三册英音版 05-The Facts
新概念英语第二册英音版 90-What’s for Supper
新概念英语第二册英音版 79-By Air
新概念英语第二册英音版 85-Never Too Old To Learn
新概念英语第二册英音版 76-April Fools’ Day
新概念英语第二册英音版 73-The Record-Holder
新概念英语第三册英音版 10-The Loss of the Titanic
新概念英语第三册英音版 15-Fifty Pence Worth of Trouble
新概念英语第二册英音版 92-Asking for Trouble
新概念英语第二册英音版 95-A Fantasy
新概念英语第二册英音版 80-The Crystal Palace
新概念英语第三册英音版 18-Electric Currents in Modern Art
新概念英语第三册英音版 11-Not Guilty
新概念英语第三册英音版 12-Life on a Desert Island
新概念英语第二册英音版 74-Out of the Limelight
新概念英语第三册英音版 16-Mary Had a Little Lamb
新概念英语第三册英音版 17-The Longest Suspension Bridge in the World
新概念英语第二册英音版 96-The Dead Return
新概念英语第二册英音版 94-Future Champions
新概念英语第二册英音版 83-After the Elections
新概念英语第三册英音版 19-A Very Dear Cat
新概念英语第三册英音版 20-Pioneer Pilots
新概念英语第二册英音版 70-Red for Danger
新概念英语第二册英音版 81-Escape
新概念英语第二册英音版 87-A Perfect Alibi