高中英语语法-习作评析（6）

　　习作评析（6）

　　　　习作题目2

　　　　请根据下面图表所示内容，用英语写一篇短文，比较高中学生减负前后的有关情况。

　　　　注意：

　　　　1. 短文须包括所有图表内容，可以适当增加细节，使短文连贯；

　　　　2. 词数 100 左右。

　　　　「学生原文」

　　　　Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past， they took（1） about 6.5 hours in their classroom（2） a day. At home it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours to sleep（3）。 Their free time was only three hours. As a result， their health was badly destroyed.（4）

　　　　Now the things（5） are getting better. About five hours is spent in class and hours for homework have reduced two hours（6）。 So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two other hours to do whatever they like（7）。

　　　　「名师点评」

　　　　本文要点齐全，语句通顺，行文连贯，各种句型使用恰当，但也存在同义词误用，语态，主谓不一致等少量错误。如下：

　　　　（ 1 ） take 的主语不能是人，此处应该为 spent .

　　　　（ 2 ）此处应是 classrooms ，因为前面有 their 来修饰。

　　　　（ 3 ）此处应该用 hours' sleep 更符合英语习惯。

　　　　（ 4 ）此处应是 Their health was badly damaged.

　　　　（ 5 ） things 为情况前面不用冠词。

　　　　（ 6 ）应改为： hours for homework have been reduced to two hours.

　　　　（ 7 ）此处应为： also two more hours to do whatever they like.

　　　　「精品范文」

　　　　Senior middle school students were heavily burdened with all kinds of homework. In the past， they spent about 6.5 hours in their classroom a day. At home， it took them 5 hours to finish their homework. So they only got less than 7 hours' sleep. Their free time was only three hours. As a result， their health was badly damaged.

　　　　Now the things are getting better. About five hours are spent in class and the time for homework had been reduced two hours. So that they have eight hours' sleep and also two more hours to do whatever they like.