2014中考英语写作提升周周练+范文精讲(4)

假设你叫 Lily，是学校英语角的主持人，你收到了 Tom 的一封来信。请你根据他的来信内容写一封回信，针对他的烦恼，谈谈你的看法，提出一些建议，并鼓励他努力学习。

Dear Lily,

Im not happy these days. You know, Im in Grade 9 this term. Every day I have too much homework to do and when I finish my homework, its late into midnight. I have no time to have fun. Im so tired. What should I do?

Yours,

Tom

One possible version:

Dear Tom,

Nice to hear from you. I can understand your feeling. Too much homework makes us bored and tired. But on the other hand, homework is good for our studies.

But if you really dont like it, why not go to your teachers and tell them your feelings? Maybe they will give less homework. Besides, its also a good idea to make full use of your time, and then you may have some time to relax. Anyway I hope you can enjoy your study. There is a saying, No pains, no gains. I think if you work hard, youll have a bright future.

Yours,

Lily

范文讲解

审题要点：1.复述他的烦恼，谈看法。2.提出一些建议。3.鼓励努力学习

一. 针对烦恼谈看法：Nice to hear from you. I can understand your feeling. Too much homework makes us bored and tired. But on the other hand, homework is good for our studies.

精彩句子：I can understand your feeling. But on the other hand.

点评：注意一定不能上去就谈看法，而要先复述烦恼，并且要有感同身受。接下来，也不要直接说建议，而要先说自己的看法，而且要是积极的。On the other hand 是个非常好的过渡，以后可以常用。

2014中考英语写作提升周周练+范文精讲汇总

二.提出一些建议： But if you really dont like it, why not go to your teachers and tell them your feelings? Maybe they will give less homework. Besides, its also a good idea to make full use of your time, and then you may have some time to relax.

精彩句子：Besides, its also a good idea to make full use of your time, and then you may have some time to relax.

点评：建议至少写两点。注意，每一个建议都要有对于建议的进一步解释。每个点要有两句话或者一个复合句。两点之间用 besides 等过渡词过渡。用好词组，make use of，take advantage of 等。

三. 鼓励努力学习：Anyway I hope you can enjoy your study. There is a saying, No pains, no gains. I think if you work hard, youll have a bright future.

精彩句子：There is a saying, No pains, no gains.

点评： 鼓励努力学习就是这篇文章的结尾了。在结尾处能用到一个谚语能起到画龙点睛的作用。但务必要注意是合适的，而且是通俗易懂的。否则适得其反。

总结：即使是回信的作文，也是要有很清晰的层次的，不能乱写。每一步该写什么都应该在审题之后确定。写的时候注意不要东写一点西写一点，而要有一个主线。

评分标准：

第一档：(15~13 分)

完全符合题目要求，观点正确，要点齐全。句式多样，词汇丰富。语言准确，语意连贯，表达清楚，具有逻辑性。

第二档：(12~9 分)

基本符合题目要求，观点正确，要点齐全。语法结构和词汇基本满足文章需要。语言基本通顺，语意基本连贯，表达基本清楚。虽然有少量语言错误，

但不影响整体理解。

第三档：(8~5 分)

部分内容符合题目要求，要点不齐全。语法结构和词汇错误较多，语言不通顺，表达不够清楚，影响整体理解。

第四档：(4~0 分)

与题目有关内容不多，只是简单拼凑提示词语，所写内容难以理解。