一次成功的雅思写作复议

　　学生第一次来邮:

　　我的写作成绩值得复议吗?

　　老师,

　　您好. 我在您批改的作文中大多得6+, 您对我的评语就是英语表达超6,组织得好就能拿7的那位同学.

　　我在9月23日参加的考试,写作居然只有5分.那次的大作文写的是越来越多的人开私家车,说说优点和缺点.我是这样写的:

　　优点:私家车能繁荣经济, 特别是汽车工业.

　　方便, 能随时随地到任何地方,不用象公交车一样限定线路和时间.

　　舒适, 不用挤公交车.

　　缺点:令道路更堵塞,特别是上下班高峰期.

　　汽油供应短缺,很多私家车需要排队加油

　　造成更多的环境污染.

　　结尾: 认为开私家车的缺点大于优点.

　　考完出来自我感觉良好, 不知是否我这样写离题了才得个5分, 还请老师指点.

　　我这样写可以拿6分吗? 我想申请成绩复议, 值得这样做吗?

　　老师回复:

　　yes,i think ud better go for an application of reevaluating. anyway, ill still need to tell u some mistakes u made.

　　now let me try to simulate how the examiner was looking at your task2 n then drew such a stupid conclusion.

　　the first idea is not based on comparison and contrast----more private cars help boom the car manufacturing industry not a right idea. but the second one hits the point---convenience. how about the drawbacks? traffic jams caused---hmmmm..good idea. more pollution is created---good too. but queue to fill up tanks with gasoline----hmmmm...u might not express it in a coherent way.

　　after all, u included one good point for the positive side n one for the negative side. i believe u definitely deserve a chance to get band 6. the examiner probably only read the first bit of the advantages n then turned to briefly examine the last part and hence marked your paper like this. if u apply for reassessing, the entire paper will be scrutinized by another examiner, n the good points will not be missed. this is why i tend to encourage u to have a try.

　　if unclear, call me .

　　good luck!

　　Andrew

　　学生最后来邮

　　Im glad to tell you that my writing is re-marked as band 6. Thank you very much for the encouragement, otherwise I may lose the confidence to apply the remark.