写作通常是容易拿高分的地方,但要真拿到高分,也必须花点心思。我看到有些学生的情况,很是替他们着急,所以请他们认真看看再比较一下以下两篇文章,定会有很大启发的。
以下两篇文章都是essay类型。内容也一样,都是讨论骑自行车的好处。bicycle是中国人写的考试范文,why cycle?是一个英国人为号召伦敦人多用自行车的活动写给网上读者的。请大家注意下面几个方面
一、 用词
bicycle作者的用词是中国式的。从题目就可以看出来。骑自行车的通常说法是 cycling 或riding a bike,骑自行车的人是bicyclist或cyclist。如果根据作者的标题,不应该是讨论骑自行车的问题,应该是讨论自行车本身诸如发明、改进、用途、价格、式样、功能等问题。文中其他的用词,大家可以自己找。
二、 句式
bicycle的作者句式单一,几乎就是一个又一个简单句顺序排列,而且少有用形容词和副词修饰句子,使句子过于平淡。重点不突出,句式无起伏,词汇有限,并在文章中重复使用,如:骑自行车,作者仅用bicycles或riding bikes或they造简单句。而why cycle?的作者用同样的词对句子做各种修饰。虽然文体是essay, 但因为是登在网上的,要照顾各个层次的读者,所以作者的句式和用词都趋于简单,但并不单调。
三、 文章结构
bicycle作者的思路是清晰的,但表达不明确,所以造成结构混乱的感觉,考试时会吃亏的。
下面就是这两篇文章。
中国作者的Bicycle
Bicycles have become more and more popular in China. People ride bikes to their work places, to shopping areas, to schools, and so on. During the rush hours, you can often see a boiling sea of bicycles running in all directions. With the largest number of bike riders in the world, China is often referred to as the kingdom of bicycles.
Compared with cars, bikes have many advantages. First, they are not very expensive, and almost every family can afford them. Second, they are very handy and convenient though they are not so fast as cars. With a bike, you can go anywhere you like, and you dont have to look for a large parking place. By riding bikes, you can avoid traffic jams and thus save the time and the money for taking taxis. Third, they do not cause air or sound pollution.
Riding bikes does good to your health if you ride it regularly. In modern times, people are usually too busy to spare any time for physical exercise. Riding a bike to your work place regularly serves as a good way to keep yourself strong and healthy. Therefore, a bicycle is really an important means of transportation in China. It has been very useful, convenient and necessary ever since it was invented. And I do believe it will still be so in the future.
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