下面雅思为大家整理了雅思写作范文评改:教师的责任,供考生们参考,以下是详细内容。
一篇考雅思的学生发给我的作文,要求修改,里面出现的问题请各位注意!
文章修改过程中用到了很多课上所讲的句式和表达,希望大家能够熟练使用和掌握!
Topic:
Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well, some say that teachers should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
原文:
As a result of the responsibility of a teacher,One side argument is they orght to teach the students how to distinguish right and wrong and how to be a human being well.the other side view is they should solely teach students about academic konwledges.In the following paraguaphs I will discuss each argument.
First,teaching konwledges is a initial responsibility of a teacher.they should make every student learned various konwledges and the methods of how to study. When the students are studying in the primary school,they do not know anything about different subjuct. A good teacher should have the ability of how to guide the students to study and improve the attention of students increasingly paying to the various subject.
On the other hand, apart from academic knowledges the students also need other skills. It is necessary that the teacher taught the students how to realise everything of the society, such as teammork,uderstanding each other, helping someone when he or she needs, in addition,the teacher also need teach the students how to solre the problems they meet, and how to face the difficult time and so forth.
In conclution,Teacher plays a significant role in Education of students. The academic knowledges and social skills were learned through the teachers. Thus, They should not only teach varions knowledges, but teach every social technologies as well.
整体点评:
原文问题包括:
1.简单的语法和表达错误
2.论证过程逻辑混乱
3.没有完成写作任务之中的:state personal view
4.语言,尤其是句式的变化有待提高
针对以上问题,建议:
1. 在写作之前:按照课上多讲先结构、后句式的审题顺序将文章结构安排合理。
2. 日常的写作练习中强化单句写作的能力:即,一种意思能用两种以上表达方式进行写作
3. 写完整篇文章之后:务必检查:单复数、拼写等
修改版:
As to the responsibility of teachers, one argument is that they should solely teach students about academic subjects. While, the other view is that they ought to teach the students how to distinguish right from wrong, and how to be a human being well. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the above opinions and state my personal view.
People who hold the first view argue that teaching about academic subjects is an essential responsibility for any teacher. From their point of view, a qualified teacher should not only make every student acquire the knowledge, but also learn how to learn independently. Take students in the primary school as an example, most pupils do not know anything about their subjects. Therefore, a good teacher should have the ability to guide the students to study and inspire their interests on this field. Only in this way can students become independent in their future and further study.
问题:首句为主题句,应言简意赅。之后应该就此深入展开。
学习知识:acquire/gain knowledge
注意举例恰当:例子要支持自己的观点,是观点的展开
On the other hand, others hold the opinion that apart from academic subjects, teachers need to teach students about how to tell right from wrong, and how to behave well. They believe that by doing so, students can easily adapt to the society where they may be confronted with various choices, including both the good and the bad. In class time, a teachers peoper behaviors, attitudes and comments on social issues will absolutely set good examples for students. Accordingly, students can develop their correct philosophy of life, and meantime they build up the indispensible quality, such as teamwork, tolerance, perserverence. In this way, the students can learn how to solve the problems they meet, and how to face the difficult time and so forth.
3段:采用总分总结构阐述第二个观点:注意观点的安排上,赞成的观点一般放在后面且论述稍长。
Taking into account the above analysis, I prefer the second view. What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to server the development of the society. From my point of view, only those people, who are quipped with not only knowledge, but proper behavior and the ability to tell right from wrong, can shoulder the responsibility of constructing society.
文章尾段完成任务:总结上文,表明自己观点,简要说明原因。
以上就是雅思为大家整理的雅思写作范文评改:教师的责任,非常实用。更多资讯、资料尽在雅思。最后,雅思预祝大家在雅思考试中取得好成绩!
国际英语资讯:Britain, EU within touching distance of a deal on citizen rights: May
国际英语资讯:ASEAN defense ministers agree to step up counter-terrorism measures
国际英语资讯:Typhoon Lan lashes central Japan, killing 2 and disrupting transport systems
中国和西方科技巨头的东南亚对决
体坛英语资讯:Team USA renew 4X400m mixed relay world record at Doha worlds
体坛英语资讯:Best road cyclists honored in UCI Gala in China
国际英语资讯:Spotlight: Japans general election to kick off with Abe projected to win amid low populari
体坛英语资讯:70 years on new Chinas road to sports glory
国际英语资讯:Trump to allow release of over 3,000 files related to JFK assassination
体坛英语资讯:Ralf hits winner as Corinthians consolidate top-four spot
北上广白领城市归属感较低 无房和生活压力是主因
体坛英语资讯:Lazio players to wear Anne Frank jerseys after fans anti-semitism
国际英语资讯:Japans ruling camp wins two-thirds majority in lower house election amid opposition splitt
还有这种操作? 夫妻离婚前要先考试!
2017年12月四级作文预测范文:怎样提高学习效率
尼日尔村民被怀疑故意拖住遭伏击的美特种兵
体坛英语资讯:Seeded players march on, Chinese duo bow out at China Open
国内英语资讯:Interview: China plays major role in global economic integration -- New Zealand party leader
川普签署政令允许更多退役飞行员转现役
双11来了,还不会用英文砍价?
如何从一个人的睡姿看出性格?
老外常用的缩写,你知道几个?
国际英语资讯:16 policemen killed in Egypts anti-terror shootout
在线课程掀起我国的新一波教育热潮
国际英语资讯:WHO withdraws Mugabes goodwill ambassador title
国内英语资讯:China to build more marine research vessels
体坛英语资讯:Hamilton triumphs in F1 US Grand Prix free practice
美文欣赏:越是爱自己,越应该对自己狠
国际英语资讯:NAFTA talks must benefit agricultural trade in region, says Mexico
国际英语资讯:EU offers 106 mln euros in aid to Sudan over natural disasters
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |