雅思大作文点评:解决环境问题方法是涨价？

　　The best way to solve environmental problems is to raise the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

　　As we see, smog is choking our cities and toxic chemicals are contaminating our drinking water, lowering the quality of peoples living conditions. Naturally, the question is in the spotlight whether it is effective to cope with environmental problems by raising the price of fuel . And my sense is that it is a good way, but never the best.

　　点评:看了第一段的语言,感觉作者英语水平应该很高,不管是从语言上也好,还是从表达的内容也好,都很老练.其次,值得一提的是,再怎么优秀的文章,结构基本还是一样的.此段也是先引入话题,然后表达自己的观点.所以,对于那些一天到晚总在研究作文结构的同学来说,你们可以休息一下了,把精力放到语言上来吧.文章的结构,特别是首尾段的太容易了,没什么多研究的。

　　It is true that manufacturers, whose aim is to make more profits, have to limit the amount of fuel used in production by some way , due to the increase of fuel price, to cut down on their cost of products, reducing the emission in the process of manufacture 但是,雅思考试的时候,考官是否能看懂呢?!我想考官是能够看懂的,但问题是考官会不会花心思去看?!这个是因考官而异,所以我主张,句子写得复杂没有问题,但是结构一定要清晰,不能复杂到连考官都琢磨半天,那就不好了!!!这句话,我乍看之下,能够理解,那么推定考官也能理解,所以还是不错的) . Also, faced with sharply growing price of common fuels, producers may turn to new types of energy resources that are economical as well as harmless to environment , in long term 。

　　点评:此段充分显示了作者的语言功底,太神奇了!但是,大家有没有发现,人人看了此段都会觉得好,但是此段有没有比较难的单词呢?!答案是没有!说明什么呢?!好的作文也不需要刻意追求词汇的难度,而是词汇的广度!

　　But, as usual, only when the government or authoritative organizations enforce environmental regulations on producers will the latter scenario happen. In other words, the authorities play an active role in preventing the excessive pollutants from pouring out into rivers or air. Without the compulsory clauses, manufacturers may choose low-cost fuel, rather than the one inoffensive to the surroundings, for, in the short term, manufacturers, especially small ones, can not afford the high expense on advanced equipment that can make the most of resources, and thus, lessen the pollutants.

　　点评:语言功底好的人有什么特点?!从句吗?不是.而是非谓语动词和从句的结合。

　　Furthermore, on the whole, the high fuel price of energy resources can not eliminate the pollution, because there, whether more or less, has still been pollution . And, the radical approach to the environmental problems lies with the environmental awareness of producers. With the broad awareness about the importance of sustainable development, producers are willing to develop renewable energy resources, instead of being compelled to carry out the environmental policy established by the government, which is more effective but more difficult to reach.

　　So, the environmental problems can be solved by the rise in price of fuel partially, but not radically. And then, better to take advantage to all the price mechanism, administration and the publics knowledge, than to make use of only one of them.

　　点评:最后一段是败笔,或者说明显写的没前面几段好!

　　试改为: Therefore, raising fuel price can, to some extent, tackle the environmental problems but is far from thoroughly and the combination of price mechanism, administration and public knowledge is much better than make use of merely one of them.

　　总评:我想也不用多说了,8分。