专家揭秘：如何避免圣诞节送礼不当惹尴尬

Christmas Day is for eating, drinking, watching bad TV - and trying to cover up your embarrassment as you realise your husband's Aunt Maude has spent her pension on your present while you bought her a set of hankies.

在圣诞节那天，人们吃吃喝喝，看看没营养的电视剧——还要试图掩饰因送礼不当产生的尴尬，如你丈夫的麦德阿姨用退休金给你买了贵重礼物，而你却只送了她一套廉价手帕。

Present-buying can be a minefield; from how much to spend, to whether to risk surprising recipients with a gift they don't want, to knowing if you should buy your neighbour you only say hello to a little something.

圣诞节买礼物是一件很棘手的事，要买多少钱的？是否买收礼人不想要的礼物，出其不意？是否要给点头之交的邻居买点小礼物？这些都是需要考量的问题。

Here, FEMAIL has asked experts including dating gurus and personal shoppers for their top tips on present-buying etiquette to ensure the only thing that's red this Christmas is Rudolf's nose.

那么，买礼物有什么讲究？为确保大家这个圣诞节购礼不闹笑话惹尴尬，FEMAIL征求了专家意见，包括约会专家和私人购物者，现为大家提供以下重要购礼贴士。

YOUR PARTNER

给伴侣的礼物

Spend: New romance £20-50; long-term couples £100-£150

花销：新情人20-50英镑；配偶100-150英镑

'If you've just started seeing someone you don't need to spend a fortune,' says dating guru James Preece (www.jamespreece.com).

“如果你刚开始与某人约会，那就没必要给对方买很贵重的礼物。约会专家詹姆斯·普里斯说（来源：www.jamespreece.com）。

'It's much better to impress them with your imagination by choosing a gift that’s a little bit different. £20 is about the right amount, with a maximum of £50 if you can afford it.'

“发挥想象力，选择与众不同的礼物让他们印象深刻，这个法子更好。至于花销方面，20英镑最佳，如果负担得起，多花一些也无妨，但不要超过50英镑。

Or you don't even need to go that far, says relationship expert and founder of BeLoveCurious.com, Helen Rice. Plan to spend a romantic evening together or have a fun day out. Feel free to give the person you're dating something thoughtful, just don't spend a lot of money.'

“或者根本没必要想那么多。人际专家、www.jamespreece.com网站创始人海伦·赖斯（Helen Rice）说。“安排一次浪漫的晚餐或出去开心玩一天。随意送一些花心思的玩意儿给你约会的对象，只是不要花很多钱在上面。

'If you're in a long-term relationship then your budget really reflects on your personal situation,' adds James. 'You don't need to go crazy, but it's a great opportunity to show you love and appreciate them.

“如果你与对方是长期交往的关系，那么你花钱多少确实会反映出你的个人情况。詹姆斯补充道。“虽然没必要疯狂行事，但这是向他们表达你的爱与感恩的好机会。

'It's also best to buy a few cheaper presents rather than one big one. Part of the fun is the mystery and unwrapping, so it will last longer if you give them several to enjoy.'

“买几样便宜些的礼物好过等额买一样贵的。收到礼物的乐趣部分来源于礼物的神秘感和拆礼物，所以如果你送他们好几个小礼物，那份乐趣会更绵长。

Set a mutual budget

双方花销保持一致

'For a new couple, a mutual budget is definitely a great idea,' says James. 'There's nothing worse than one of you going overboard when the other has done the opposite.'

“对新婚夫妇来说，花销一致无疑是一个好主意。詹姆斯说。“你花了大价钱而对方却恰恰相反，没有比这更糟糕的了。

He even points out that this is a good test to see if you have differing financial views.

他甚至指出这也是很好的考验，可以看看双方是否持有不同的消费观。

'Some people are natural over-spenders and think that the more they spend then the more you’ll love them. If you aren’t in sync with your spending habits then it can spell problems further down the line.'

“有些人天生大手大脚的，而且认为他们花钱越多，你就会越爱他们。如果你不遵循你自己的消费习惯，接下来就会出现各种问题。

Long-term couples will likely already have an idea on what to spend, based on previous years and their financial situation - but it is still a good idea to set a maximum spending limit.

而老夫老妻们根据之前那些年的经验还有他们的经济状况，可能已经拿好主意要买什么了，但制定消费支出最大限额仍是一个不错的想法。

Surprise them

给对方惊喜

'Whatever relationship stage you are at, you absolutely do have to surprise them,' advises James.

“不管你们的关系到了哪一步，给对方惊喜都是必须的。詹姆斯建议。

'For new daters, show that you’ve been paying attention to their hobbies and conversations. If you remembered something small that they said, they’ll be flattered and happy you noticed.

“对于刚开始约会的对象，要表现出你留意到他们的喜好，记得与他们的谈话内容。如果你记得他们说过的一些小事情，他们会为你留意到那些小事而受宠若惊，感到高兴。

'If you’ve been together a while, you’ll probably have a list of suggestions of things that they want. It's fine to get them something off that but you also have to think outside the box. That's the only way to make it a magical experience for them.'

“如果你们在一起有一段时间了，对方可能会向你暗示过很多他们想要的东西。其实送他们别的东西也是可以的，只不过你也要在礼品盒的包装上花心思，因为那是唯一一种让对方觉得你的礼物妙不可言的方式。

Of course most partners drop hints - so make sure you listen.

当然，大多数伴侣都会给对方一些暗示——所以要确保你有留心听。

If you're still struggling, take them shopping and make a note of what they like, or ask close friends and family for ideas.

如果你还是拿不定主意，那么带他们去购物，然后记下他们喜欢的东西，或者向他们的密友和家人打听一下他们的喜好。

Of course for some a gift that really matters is something that's wanted and perhaps wouldn’t otherwise be affordable, so just asking if they want a surprise or not may be the safest bet, says Helen.

对于一些人来说，礼物贵在合心意，而不是多数人买不起的价格，所以先问一下对方是否想要一个惊喜可能会更稳妥，海伦说。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

Something handmade or baked; a personal IOU voucher - i.e. a massage/home-cooked meal/naughty treat etc; a book that you love and would like to share with them; an event/show tickets; a piece of art; cooking or craft classes; spa days; weekend away; gadgets.

手工制品或烘焙品；私人欠条凭据——即欠一次按摩/一顿家常饭/一场玩闹等；一本你喜欢并且想和他们分享的书；一张比赛/表演的票；一件艺术品；给他们报厨艺班或工艺品制作班；spa体验；周末出游；一些小玩意儿。

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

Novelty or joke items; chocolate, underwear and toiletries (too boring); gift vouchers; something from your local petrol station bought on Christmas eve.

廉价小饰物或笑话集；巧克力，内衣和化妆品（太无聊）；礼品券；平安夜在加油站小商店仓促买的东西。

YOUR CHILDREN

给孩子们的礼物

Spend: £100-150 each

花销：每人100-150英镑

Of course a lot of what your budget is depends on your income, but the important thing is to set one - and stick to it.

当然，你的花销取决于你的收入，但重要的是你要定个预算并且按预算购礼。

'The pressure to make Christmas magical and give their precious darlings everything they want can be overwhelming, and some families find themselves in debt for a good part of the next year,' points out Diana Mather, an etiquette expert working with One4all Gift Cards on its gift-buying campaign.

“让圣诞变得奇妙，满足他们珍爱的人所想要的一切，这种压力是巨大的。有些家庭发现他们为了过好圣诞而负了债。礼仪专家黛安娜·马瑟指出。马瑟从事One4all礼品卡购礼促销工作。

'Children’s expectations should be managed and realistic guidelines drawn when discussing Christmas presents.

“在讨论圣诞节礼物时，要管一下孩子们的愿望，提供一些现实的参考建议。

'Young children like to open big colourful gifts, and are often just as happy playing with the cardboard box as the gift itself,' she points out.

“小孩子喜欢打开大包装、颜色鲜艳的礼物，而且通常玩礼品盒跟玩礼物一样开心。马瑟说。

If there is something you simply have to buy your little one that pushes you over the spending limit, ask family to pitch in with the cost, Diana advises.

如果有样东西你实在想买给你家小孩，但是买了会超出预算，这时你可以让家人解囊相助，黛安娜建议道。

Give gift guides to family

给家人愿望清单

The idea of creating a wish list and 'demanding' your family cough up seems very un-British, but duplicate, unsuitable or unwanted gifts currently wastes £2.4billion at Christmas in the UK according to wishagift.com, which allows you to create gift lists online. so it's a worthwhile practise.

制作愿望清单，并“要求你的家人说出他们的愿望这个点子似乎非常不英式风，但根据wishagift.com网站（该网站提供在线创作礼物清单服务）的统计，在英国，通常由重复的、不合适的或者不想要的圣诞礼物而造成的浪费价值24亿英镑。因此，制作愿望清单还是值得一试的。

'The key to going about it is to be reasonable with your expectations,' says Karina Thomsen, founder of wishagift.com. 'Also add a good variety of ideas and price ranges, and don’t necessarily be 100% specific.'

“制作愿望清单的关键是愿望要合理可行。wishagift.com网站创始人卡琳娜·汤姆森说。“另外，可在清单上添上各种好点子和价格范围，不必百分百明确具体。

For example, say ‘Molly loves colourful hair accessories’, and then the family member can still have the freedom to choose one they think she'll like.

例如，上面写“莫莉喜爱彩色的发饰，然后家里人仍可以自由挑选他们认为她会喜欢的一样发饰。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

Books; drawing pads with paints or crayons; building blocks such as Lego; clothes.

书籍；配有颜料和画笔的图画本；儿童积木，如乐高积木；衣服。

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

Bead kits; anything messy or noisy if you want your sanity to remain intact this Christmas.

一套珠子；任何乱糟糟或吵闹的玩意儿（如果你想在这个圣诞节中保持神智正常的话）。

YOUR TEENAGERS

给十几岁孩子的礼物

Spend: £150-200

花销：150-200英镑

Teens usually want things that can be expensive, but Diana thinks just because it's Christmas, it doesn't mean rules should fly out the window.

青少年通常想要那些昂贵的东西，但黛安娜认为不能因为是圣诞节他们就可以没规没据了。

'Limits should be set and if they want the latest iPhone 6s, my suggestion would be that they work to earn most of the money and you top it up,' she says.

“要有限度，如果他们想要最新的iPhone 6s，我的建议是让他们自己挣够大部分的钱，然后你贴补剩下的。她说。

Ask them what they want

问他们想要什么

Teenagers are picky and if you buy them something that you think is 'cool' it's likely to be met with a roll of the eyes.

青少年爱挑剔，如果你给他们买了你觉得“酷的东西，他们很有可能会翻个白眼给你。

Image-conscious teens are also likely to want the latest gadget and best designers.

爱臭美的青少年也有可能会想要最新潮、最时尚的小玩意儿。

If you can't afford it, talk to them to figure out a compromise, whether that's getting the gadget second-hand, or asking them to contribute to the cost.

如果你买不起，就跟他们谈谈，找出一种折衷办法，不管是买二手的还是让他们自己也出点钱。

Also let family know what your teenager has asked for, but give them the least-expensive requests. And expect the same in return if they have teens.

另外，也要让家族里其他人知道孩子想要什么，不过只把那些花钱最少的愿望告诉他们。如果他们也有十几岁的孩子，那就要回一样的礼。

Make present-buying fun

让买礼物变得有趣

If your teen has a job or gets an allowance, they should be buying their own presents, but make it fun and set a reasonable budget.

如果你的孩子有工作或者有零用钱，他们应该自己给自己买礼物，不过可以让买礼物变得有趣些，而且要制定合理的预算。

Diana tells, 'We made it a rule to try and buy the most innovative thing for under £10 for teens and £5 for younger children.

黛安娜说，“我们的惯例是尝试用少于10英镑的钱给青少年买最有创意的东西，而小孩子的则少于5英镑。

'This made the children take time and think about what people’s likes and interests were, and what their brothers and sisters or cousins would really enjoy.

“这促使孩子们花时间思考人们的兴趣爱好所在，以及买什么才会让他们的兄弟姐妹或表亲真正感到欢喜。

'It worked very well and my sisters and I still have a low budget for ourselves and our partners.'

“这招很有效。我和我的姐妹们依然是花很少钱给我们自己还有我们的伴侣买礼物。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

Gadgets; gift cards; music; games; books

小玩意；礼品卡；音乐；游戏；书籍。

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

Any surprises where personal taste is involved, in particular clothes, accessories and perfume/aftershave.

带有个人喜好的任何惊喜，尤其是衣服、配饰和香水/须后水。

YOUR FAMILY

给家人的礼物

Spend: £20-50

花销：20-50英镑

You might want to spend more on your parents and less on your cousins, but the most important thing with present-buying for family is the thought.

你可能想要花更多钱在你父母身上，而且在你表亲身上花少一些，只是购买礼物最重要的是心意。

Those with big families may of course need to budget more carefully.

那些家族庞大的人自然可能需要在礼物花销方面更谨慎一些。

'My best tip is to collate a list of all the people you need to buy presents for and include how much disposable cash you have to spend overall.

“最好的窍门是整理出一份清单，列出你需要买礼物的人员名单，算出你总共要花的可支配现金数额。

'This makes it a lot easier to think of possible gifts and allocate budgets', says Milda Chellingsworth, personal shopper, stylist and founder of Styling For You.

“这使你更容易想到合理的礼物以及进行预算分配。私人购物者、Styling For You创始人兼设计师米尔德·切林斯沃斯说。

'If times are a bit hard tell everyone you are setting a budget this Christmas and ask them if they would like to do the same,' suggests Diana.

“如果处于经济有点拮据的时期，就在圣诞节前告诉每个人你正在制定预算，并问他们是否也想这样做。黛安娜提议。

Also if you're a working married mum, your husband should buy the presents for his own family - but unfortunately you may have to help him so they don't end up with socks and hankies (see 'bad present ideas' below), so be sure to go on a joint shopping trip.

另外，如果你是已婚妈妈、职场女性，你的丈夫应该为自己的家人买礼物——不过令人失望的是，你可能不得不帮他出主意，这样他们才不会买回袜子和手帕（见下面的“送礼馊品）。因此，务必要与你丈夫一起为家人购买圣诞礼物。

Surprise them

给他们惊喜

It's a nice idea to surprise parents, in-laws, siblings, cousins, aunties and uncles, but make it a calculated one.

给父母、配偶亲属，兄弟姐妹、表亲们、叔叔阿姨们惊喜是个不错的想法，但要精心策划。

'Do your research beforehand,' advises Karina. 'Check their favourite brands, notice items that might be running low, or note not-so-subtle hints.

“事先做好调查。卡琳娜提议说。“核实他们最喜欢的品牌，留意那些可能快用完的东西或较为明显的暗示。

'If you get it wrong though, be warned you may become the recipient of the dreaded #GiftFace!'.

“然而，如果你搞砸了，小心点，你可能会见到渗人的#GiftFace（收到不喜欢的礼物但不得不装出很开心的样子）！

To avoid this, always wrap the gift receipt up with the present, she suggests - that way they can take it back without needing you to know about it.

为了避免遇到这种情况，卡琳娜提议把礼品收据与礼品放在一块——这样的话，收礼者可以在你不知道的情况下去退货。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

Something personalised; a scarf; homeware; kitchen gadgets; cookery books; something for the garden; scented candles/diffusers; chocolate; beauty products; gadgets; novelty DIY kits (like a wine-making or bacon-curing kit); books; a small hamper of unusual produce; wine/champagne.

有个性的东西；围巾；家用商品；厨房配置；烹饪书；花园用具；香薰蜡烛/柔光镜；巧克力；美容产品；小玩意儿；廉价自制用具（如酿酒用具、培根加工用具）；书籍；一小篮子不常见的产品；葡萄酒/香槟。

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

Socks or hankies; clothes if you have to guess the size; bars of soap; cheap Christmas-themed novelty gifts.

袜子或者手帕；衣服（如果你不清楚其尺码的话）；几块肥皂；以圣诞节为主题的廉价小玩意儿。

YOUR FRIENDS

给朋友的礼物

Spend: £10-15

花销：10-15英镑

Friends can often be closer than family, but this also means you should be understanding of each other's financial constraints.

朋友通常比家人更亲密，但这也意味着你应当了解彼此的经济有限。

'My close friends and I now have a pact about the size of the Christmas gift we give each other,' tells Diana. 'What with partners, children, grandchildren, nephews and nieces, not to mention great nephews and nieces – life can become really expensive!

“现在，我和我的密友们已经就互赠圣诞节礼物的大小达成了协定。黛安娜说。“考虑到要给伴侣们、孩子们、孙子们、侄子女们买礼物，这还没算上孙侄子女们——生活开销真的很大！

'Friends should realise this. Decide your limits and then try to find a really fun gift. After all, that is what it is all about - giving - and a pot of home-made jam can give as much pleasure as something much more expensive.'

“朋友们应当意识到这点。制定支出限度，然后尝试找到一份真正有趣的礼物。毕竟，那才是圣诞节礼物的意义所在——给予。另外，一罐自制果酱会带来很多快乐，与比其贵重得多的东西带来的快乐相比，没有什么两样。

The rules are there are no rules

准则就是没有准则

These are your friends, so you'll either know exactly what they want already, or are happy to ask them outright - and either is fine.

这些是你的朋友，因此你要么已经知道他们想要什么了，要么能够愉快坦率地问出口——两者均可。

'Here we can generalise that an open approach of explicit gift requests, mutual budgets or surprise gifts are welcome,' says Karina.

“在这里我们可以推论出，光明正大、毫不隐讳的礼物请求，保持一致的预算或者令人惊喜的礼物都是受欢迎的。卡琳娜说。

'You likely know them far better, and their interests, than the remainder of the people on your gift buying list and probably feel far more comfortable discussing what’s on each of your most wanted lists,' she adds.

“你可能了解他们还有他们的兴趣比了解你送礼名单上的其他人更甚，而且在讨论你们各自最想要的东西清单时，可能会觉得更为自在。她补充道。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

A spa day for you to share; unusual jewellery; handmade soap; scarf; scented candle; subscription to a magazine; beauty products; wine or any alcohol!

共同享受spa一天；独特的珠宝；手工皂；围巾；香薰蜡烛；杂志订阅；美容产品；葡萄酒或其他酒！

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

You can't go far wrong if you put some thought into it.

只要你花心思在上面就不会出什么大差错。

ACQUAINTANCES

给熟人的礼物

Spend: £7.50-15

花销：7.50-15英镑

The key here is to keep the budget low; that way if you buy a gift for someone who hasn't bought you anything, it saves their embarrassment.

给熟人买礼物的关键是要便宜；这样的话，就算你给某人送礼而对方没有给你准备礼物，他也不至于太过尴尬。

Or if you're worried about being the one left red-faced, Karina suggests a sneaky way of finding out if someone is buying you something.

或者如果你担心自己因收到礼物却没有东西用于回礼而感到尴尬，卡琳娜有一秘诀可以得知某人是否有给你买东西。

'Ask who they’re buying for this year. If their list is exhaustive including everyone from the nearest and dearest to their postman you can safely assume that you may be included,' she says.

“问他们今年都给谁买了礼物。如果他们的送礼人员名单详尽无遗，囊括所有人，从他们最亲密的人到邮递员，那么你就能想到你可能也在其中。她说。

For office colleagues, a group Secret Santa is a good idea.

至于办公室的同事们，一名代表团队的神秘圣诞老人是个不错的想法。

Don't give gifts for the sake of it

不要为了送礼而送礼

From your kids' teachers to your neighbours to your colleagues, figuring out who to buy for can be a minefield.

从你孩子的老师、你的邻居到你的同事，想好要给谁买礼物可能会成为一棘手的问题。

'If you get on well with someone in the office or you feel someone deserves a thank you, like a teacher, for example, then buy them something small to show your appreciation,' advises Diana.

“如果你与办公室里某个人相处融洽或者你想要感谢某人，如老师，那么你就买点小东西给他们以表谢意。黛安娜提议。

If you do decide to buy something, personal shopper Milda advises letting your children choose gifts for the teachers (with your guidance of course!), bake cakes or biscuits for a neighbour, and get a colleague a funny piece of stationary or mug that they can use at work.

如果你决定要买些东西，私人购物者米尔德建议让你的孩子为他们的老师挑选礼物（自然是要在你的引导下！），送一些烘焙蛋糕或饼干给邻居，送工作中可用到的有趣的文具或马克杯给同事。

Good gift ideas

送礼佳品

A bottle of wine; a nice house plant; flowers; good chocolates, gourmet food.

一瓶酒；好看的盆栽；花；好吃的巧克力；美味的食物

Bad gift ideas

送礼馊品

Hankies; cheap hand cream; bath salts; cheap chocolates; anything that doesn't suit their lifestyle, i.e. wine for your tee-total colleague.

手帕；廉价护手霜；浴盐；廉价巧克力；不适合他们生活方式的任何东西，如给你完全戒酒的同事送酒。