围观歪果仁如何吐槽快递慢

Long lines at the post office are par for the course, but we feel a special kind of rage when a delivery takes too long. Perhaps that's why this hilarious complaint to USPS.com is going viral right now on Reddit. Likening the post office to an ordinary box turtle, user malvoliosf explains how, despite paying $110 for priority shipping, it took eight days for his parcel to travel a distance of 14.8 miles.

在邮局里要排长长的队伍，对此人们已经司空见惯，不过对于快递运输太慢的状况，人们却会由衷的感到愤慨。或许正是因为这样，这封寄给美国邮政局的投诉信自从在红迪网上出现之后，迅速在网上爆红。这位用户名为malvoliosf 的小主将邮局比作一只平凡的箱龟。他解释道，尽管花费了110美元办理了特快空运，他的包裹却用了8天的时间才到达了14.8英里之外的地方。

Zoom in to see the original complaint and read the transcription below.

以下让我们来好好看看这封原始投诉信(附翻译)：

I paid $110 for PRIORITY and it took EIGHT DAYS to get my parcel from downtown San Francisco to the San Francisco airport, a distance of 14.8 miles. A turtle could have done that in four days. Seriously, I looked it up. An ordinary box turtle cruises 0.17 mph; it could make it from the Rincon Center post office to the cargo terminal of SFO in 87 hours. The United States Post Service took 179 hours to make the same trip.

我花了110美元办理特快空运业务，结果我的包裹花了8天的时间才从旧金山市中心运到旧金山机场，距离只有14.8英里。一只乌龟只需要4天就能爬完这段距离了。说真的，我查了的。一只普通的箱龟爬行的速度是每小时0.17英里。从林康中心邮局到旧金山码头它87小时就能够爬完了。而美国邮政局的运输飞机花了179个小时才走完了同样距离的行程。

And I had to wait in line at the post office. There is no line at the turtle store. I could have popped in, bought a turtle, strapped the parcel to its shell, and it would have gotten there in less than half the time.

而且我还必须在邮局里排队等候。在宠物店里买乌龟可不用排队等。也许我本应该换个方法，买只乌龟，把包裹绑在它背上，这样它只需要一半的时间到达目的地。

Can I get a refund here? A partial refund? A complimentary box of turtle food? Anything?

我有没有得到退款呢?或者部分退款?一包作为补偿的乌龟饲料?或者任何补偿性的东西?(然并卵!)