The dating world is cruel. No matter how much westress the importance of “inner beauty andkindness and a sense of humor, looks areundeniably a big asset in the dating game. It’s thedream of every average-looking guy that, havingbeen rejected by a handsome beau, the beautifulwoman he admires from afar will realize her error injudgment and take notice of him.
感情的世界一直很残酷。不管我们怎样强调“内在美、以及善良和幽默感有多么重要,外貌却无疑是这场游戏中的巨大优势。每一个相貌平平的男子都梦想着有一天,自己仰视的女神在被高富帅拒绝后,能够幡然领悟,然后对自己青眼有加。
Well, dream on, because this scenario is highly unlikely, according to newly published research.
然而最新发表的一项研究结果告诉我们:梦终究是梦,几乎不可能成为现实。。
The study, which focused on the responses 126 female undergraduates had after romanticrejection, was led by University of Toronto (Canada) psychologist Geoff MacDonald.Researchers found that “rejection by an attractive man also led to derogation of, anddistancing from, an unattractive man – even when that unattractive man offeredacceptance. In other words, after being rejected by a hunk, women were found to be moreinclined to reject a less attractive man.
这项由加拿大多伦多大学心理学家杰夫•麦克唐纳领导的研究调查了126名被男生拒绝的女大学生。研究发现,“在被男神拒绝之后,女生同样也会轻视或是疏远长相平平的男生,即使这些男生向她们抛去橄榄枝也是如此。换言之,被男神拒绝后,女生更容易拒绝其他“路人甲式的男士。
The likely reason, the researchers write in the journal “Social Psychological and PersonalityScience, is that accepting the affection of a “low-status person “may imply one is of similarlylow status, thus making the pain caused by the initial rejection even worse.
研究者们发表在《社会心理学和社会科学》杂志上的文章也指出了可能的原因,即接受“劣势一方会的情感“可能意味着承认自己也是劣势一方,从而加剧了上次被拒的痛苦。
The implication here is obvious: Looks are closely associated with status, at least in thedating world.
而这一切背后的含义不言而喻:外表与地位息息相关,至少在感情的世界里是这样。
Research methodology
研究方法
Pacific Standard magazine writes the 126 test subjects were asked to look at two made-upprofiles, one of a good-looking guy, the other of an unattractive one. They were told that theycould potentially meet these two men at the end of the experiment.
据《太平洋标准》杂志所写,126名实验对象将会看到两份编造的人员档案,一份是帅哥,而另一份则长相一般。她们还被告知有可能在实验最后与两位男子见面。
The women then received feedback from each of the men indicating whether they wanted tomeet. The women were then asked to indicate whether they were interested in meeting eachman, and rated both in terms of physical attractiveness and romantic appeal.
参与实验的女性一方面会得到两名男子是否愿意与她们见面的反馈,也会被问及更喜欢与谁见面,并且对两人的外表魅力和感情吸引力进行评价。
Not surprisingly, the women who were rejected by one of the men gave him lower ratings. Theresearchers think that their reasoning probably went like this: If he doesn’t want me, he can’tbe that great anyway.
毫无意外,女生对拒绝自己的男生评价更低。研究人员认为女生们的逻辑是这样的:如果他看不上我,那他一定不够好。
Saving face
挽回面子
But surprisingly, “participants who were rejected by the attractive man were also relativelyuninterested in meeting the unattractive man, write the researchers. What’s more, theywere also more inclined to evaluate the unattractive man harshly.
但是,研究人员同时也指出另一个出人意料的发现,即“被帅哥拒绝之后,参与实验的女生会对另一个男生也失去兴趣。而且她会在评价这个相貌平平的男生时更加苛刻。
What is the reason for this? MacDonald told academic publishing company Sage Publications: “What people want is not immediate acceptance itself, but a sense of assurance that theperson is acceptable to the sorts of people they want to be connected to.
为何如此呢?麦克唐纳对学术出版公司世哲出版社说:“人们想要的并不是一见钟情,而是“这个人适合继续发展联系这种确定的感觉。
Isn’t that a bit shallow? As if romance is all about face and what other people think. But ofcourse, the researchers based their conclusion on perceptions of college students.
是不是有点儿肤浅?就像所有的浪漫感情都是看脸或视他人的评价而生一样,研究人员所有的结论也都是基于大学生的视角产生的。
We can console ourselves that, as we grow more mature, we may realize status can beconveyed by means other than physical appearance. Or maybe we will grow more confidentand begin to realize true love is more important than the opinions of our peers.
我们也许可以宽慰自己,随着一个人逐渐成熟,我们也许会意识到,除了外貌之外,还有更多的方式可以展示自己在感情中的地位。亦或者,随着我们的成长,我们会变得更加自信,相信真爱比别人的看法更重要。
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